Why does my boyfriend get defensive when I try to teach him something?

[vicky09]

My 28f boyfriend 29m always gets defensive when I try to teach him about something he doesn't know. Does anyone else exercise this? So me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 4 years now and we keep getting in disagreements about the most mundane topics. So everytime I tell him information about some random topic, he either doesn't believe me, has to do his research or says I'm talking at him not with him. I've asked him for ways for me to better explain information to him in his learning style but he just says either I don't know or it has to be hands on and debugging like coding. He's a software engineer. By the end of these conversations he ends up very defensive and ultimately learned nothing. Has anyone else dealt with this? It's exhausting and I feel dismissed honestly. Is this a red flag?

[Anonymous]

Lol my first thought was you’re talking at him not to him. Probably in a condescending manner as well. You may not think so. That could be the only real reason I could think of unless he’s completely unhinged. Part of me feels like he’s irritated w you, like he resents you. I feel like maybe he isn’t into as much as he used to be that he doesn’t care now if he argues w you or not. Basically he would t care if you two broke up or not.

[summiter]

He needs to admit to himself that he does not have to know everything about everything. I like it when a girl teaches me something. Is it messing with your sex life with him also?

[spartan55]

Ever stop to think the issue might be the way you are talking to him?

[vicky09]

I think I'm talking to him in normal fashion not hostile or anything.

[spartan55]

What does he say?

[slatyb]

Huge red flag. Time to move on.