Why does being masculine not allow emotions to come out?

Question

Mystic_Nova · Accepted Answer

Because it had to do with the past and men being called to war at any moment, even kids. Men where under constant retaliation from enemy lines and in order to keep their homes and loved ones save, guys from the moment they are able to comprehend, where taught to be tough, willfully strong and to not show signs of weakness, like frying. Because you can't have any signs of weakness in war and they had to make sure they had men who would put up a fight and a less likley chance of them running away or getting killed.

This caused generations, upon generation, of men having the impression that they can't cry or even remotely show any signs of sadness or that they are hurting.

Even women back in the day didn't want a man with a lot of emot i. p. o pns, due to the need for survival, a husband who is emotionally unstable and weak minded, isn't a protector in her eyes and women were considered weak, so they didn't really have the mentality to fight back a lot of the time, nor did a lot of women have the actual training to protect them from men who had such training.

Now says, when fighting in wars isn't mandatory and war is far less prominent, compared to the past, that mentality isn't nessessary, however that mindset is still inside the mind of many men, who think that in order to be a man, you need to be mentally and physically on top of things. Also, a woman is capable of training and owning guns, so we are less concerned with men not having feelings. a lot of woman actually want their men to express how they feeling and to cry. While nobody wants a partner who is mentally unstable, showing basic feelings isn't a bad thing in todays society.

Smoke-n-Growls · Accepted Answer

That kind of masculinity - the one that encourages boys and men to repress and avoid their emotions (usually except for anger) - is what I call "toxic masculinity". It isn't right, it isn't healthy, and it isn't what really is "manly" (which isn't really a term I enjoy, either, since gender doesn't really affect whether or not you can display those behaviours).

It's a hold over of archaic values. It's social contract and custom, but not one that serves anyone.

A truly "manly man" knows what he's feeling, why he's feeling it, and deals with it - crying openly and being open about his emotions is dealing with it.

Repressing and avoiding emotion only stunts and harms the growth and wellbeing of a person. It isn't "strength" to ignore it. It's strong to acknowlege, own, and process emotion.

I hope future generations of men realize feeling emotions is masculinity. Feeling them, expressing them, and being true to himself is masculinity. Wholesome masculinity.

OnlyMyOpinion · Accepted Answer

A load of nonsense as I see it. Of course, it allows emotion to come out in the form of hearty laughter, smiles, warm comradery, etc. What it doesn't allow for is thinking in the most negative way possible over the smallest thing of things. It doesn't allow Rocky to cry himself to speak and stay down after being knocked down one time by Apollo Creed.

"Real men don't cry" is bullshit. How many of even the most red-blooded men laughed at Maximus crying over the death of his family in Gladiator? He was snot-faced and weeping like that's all he had left to do.

The real saying is, "Real men don't make problems they can solve worse." That's what masculinity disallows. It disallows a person to dwell endlessly on a problem from which they can move on. It disallows men from getting offended by the most trivial of things. It's a good thing psychologically. It encourages people to fix problems instead of prolonging them or making them worse. "Man up" means start fixing the problems instead of escaping them or making them worse. It has nothing to do with tears.

Dongtai · Accepted Answer

It’s not about letting emotions come out. It’s not letting your emotions overpower and control you.

Say a girl dumps you. Crying is cool. Feeling hurt is normal. But what’s next. Do you let the pain keep you from finding a better and more worthy woman to replace the one that hurt you? Or do you use that pain to improve yourself and drive you to get the woman you deserve?

Masculinity is mostly defined by strength. Being strong or becoming stronger than any obstacle that comes your way. Always getting back up when you’re knocked down by life. The true man utilizes his emotions in a way that best serves his goals.

Sensitivity when you’re dealing with children and hurt ones. Knowing when to be compassionate and kind. Aggression when you’re standing up for yourself and others and going for what you want in life.

So. Remember. It’s not about allowing emotions to come out. It’s about how you allow your emotions to influence you. Are you in control of your emotions or do they control you?

RichardBecker · Answer

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311WasAnInsideJam · Answer

Societal grooming. You're somehow "less of a man" if you admit you have feelings. Wanting to be loved, possibly the most essential part of the entire human experience, is expected not to apply to men. Happiness takes a back seat to work ethic and perceived status.

"The reason men are so obsessed with achievement is because nobody gives a fuck about men.

Including the majority of men.

The closest thing you can get to as a man to being cared about, is being cared about because you're useful.

Implicit to the role of provider is not being loved for who you are, but what you can do"

I'm up here in the psych ward, so I'm super into taking the mental health of everyone into account right now. The world needs a fucking hug.

nandinikhaneja · Answer

I think society has set the standards for always focusing on this that Real men don't cry;It's bullshit because I remember my brother cried about something, he was disturbed a lot so he started crying.. We have always been taught that crying out really helps;but my mother asked him in a taunting way Are you a girl? I felt nothing;because I was so small and I didn't have education to understand that stereotyping is all wrong! so, I would say to all men fuck society! Cry and let your emotions out! Because crying doesn't make you weak!

AmandaYVR · Answer

I guess for the same reason that men are better at compartmentalizing, 'getting the job done', facing fear, going into battle, etc. etc. It has both benefits and drawbacks.

Gender roles have become murky. Flexible, less rigid, in one sense, boxing men (and women) in less. However, it also seems to have brought the idea to a head. The softening of men, and hardening of women, is upsetting some. But many believe it is progress.

If you find people cannot handle male showing any vulnerability, they are simply not as evolved. Move past them, don't hold yourself back, and find the like-minded people who do understand and appreciate it.

VIVANT · Answer

Pretty much everyone is taught to suppress emotion— Depending on your culture—It isn’t about masculinity. It’s about not being human bc machines are easy for ruling class to control. And passion leads to revolution when people are oppressed, which so far has been all of history..

As far as individuality and emotional
suppression— You don’t have to accept it. You can be fully rounded 🤷‍♀️😊

hikerunbeer · Answer

I don't think it's because of masculinity. I think it might be more difficult for men to let those emotions out. We have a tendency to keep things bottled up. Maybe biologically speaking we have a higher tolerance before we break (I'm no scientist.)

Once we do cry i think we are able to get over the situation faster. It's like when you have a stomach ache and you vomit and feel much better.

Don't be afraid to let that shit out. Just do it privately and give yourself a hug. You're a fucking man.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

It doesn't? Why the hell do people keep saying that? You can and should and will feel emotions. Thats never been the issue. The issue is that men have to lead so that means that they absolutely feel but they also absolutely have to make sure their emotions don't control them. If you are sad, you should be sad you should be open about it, but then you should also get the shit done that you need to get done. You need to be strong not emotionless. You cannot protect others while being consumed by your fear, you cannot give into your anger when ever you feel like it because you could hurt some one. That doesn't mean you will or should never feel fear, it doesn't mean you will or shouldn't ever feel anger, in fact something is wrong with you if you don't. What it means is that you remain in control of yourself and that you keep doing what you need to do to make things better for yourself and others.

Grond21 · Answer

It doesn't. People just think it does.

The truth is that men who are trying to be masculine don't want to be seen as weak. And if your emotions control you it is inherently a weakness. And therefore they shun showing emotions.

However, letting your emotions influence you is not the same as letting them control you. to be truly mature as a man or a woman is to have control of your emotions, but part of that control may be letting them free in the manner and time you decide. So to be truly emasculine and to be truly feminine is to be fully in tune with your emotions, but you have the reins and the emotions do not.

To be fully mature is to be emotional where you are emotions and your mind are working synergistically, and not against each other

girlzruleboyzdrool · Answer

It's a sad world we live in where men are taught from a young age that they have to hide and supress their feelings and have to be "tough"
Which is why I think there are so many malemserial killers and rapists and divorce and stalkers and socio and psychos

scarlett774 · Answer

It’s because of toxic masculinity. Everyone has their mind set that men have to act a certain way and they have to be stone cold and show no emotion. Society needs to get over that stigma and realize emotions are natural

Desconhecida · Answer

Men were taught to be tough, that tears were a sign of weakness and they would be less of a man if they hide their emotions. It's not true. In my opinion, a real man is the opposite. He's comfortable with his emotions and secure about his masculinity not being threatened by his feelings.

MissDawn7961 · Answer

I think it used to be that if a man cried that he was not thought of as a man but a sissy ! which is not fare at all ! I feel that if some one has a reason to cry then they should do it ! then let those who feel it is wrong for men to show their emotions , then maybe the Lord will give that person a reason to cry and be seen doing it too ! thanks

Thaly · Answer

I always say this, men are human beings, so they have to cry they aren't robots. All thing that lives feel so about masculine I think its something ideological, some parents (specially fathers) say that their sons never have to cry only because they're men and that is ridiculous, don't allow us to show emotions could hurt us. However if a person cry for everything that is another issue we do not need to exaggerate (I mean, never cry or cry for everything)

LovingLover · Answer

Only in relation to other men. Well I mean they keep this font in front of other men and women until they become close to a woman who he sees does not judge herself for having these emotions and is free and unafraid and he feels safe to release them around her. Because she is sweet and understanding. Not like competing men. She is not competing with him and hedoes not need the exterior.
❤

Anonymous · Answer

Women dont care. If a woman sees a man cry she loses all respect and will leave your weak looking ass immediately. Crying doesn't get anything done anyway and women really dont give a fuck about your problems. Why do you think feminism, a movement about female equality at the expense of men is so prevalent in our society and culture? Why do you think marriage is stacked against men while women laugh while they cash your earnings in the bank and manipulate your children to hate their fathers? Why is it that women brag on social media and give tips on falsely accusing men of rape or sexual assault?

Women
Dont
Give
A
Fuck
About
Men
And
Want
Us
Dead

Dont ever trust women.

Anonymous · Answer

It does.

Men simply deal with emotions differently than women.
We don’t need to put it all out there for others to see like women do. We can deal with it on our own for the most part and only break at very intense things.

It’s likely a biological thing. As animals we didn’t have the time to socialize and require external input to sort out our emotions because we had to survive and provide. Women were more communicative because they often were in social groups under one male partner and had more time to be social as well as needed to be more social in-order to survive while the male was gone.

Which is why men will make decisions now without needed a lot of time and are based solely on logic and instinct, while women very often don’t make decisions without checking with those they trust and getting input from others.

pajamasam · Answer

I remember being told that "weddings, funerals, and the birth of your child" are the only acceptable man tears. Obviously I know thats not true now, but that sentiment stuck around with me long enough to develop bad habits of bottling tough emotions.

Plus, Forrest Gump leaving Forrest JR'S letter at Jenny's Grave and refusing to read it because he asked him not to, gets me everytime i can't help it because I'm human.

cheapshotbob · Answer

i was raised that way myself, every time i start t cry something kicks in and the tears
stop, but i remain upset all day.. im sure in a mental block thing but it can be annoying. i know when my dad passed i cried for about 5 minutes and i couldn't any more they raised me hard so i dont have any other explanation for it,

Eagle_93 · Answer

I've never understood this.

Because I believe, being a real man is a mix of being, kind, caring, gentle, firm when the need arises, having backbone to stand up for what's right, being able to be emotional, being empathetic to others, and of course being a perfect gentleman in every way.

That's my idea of what a real man is, and that is what I strive to be every day.

Browneye57 · Answer

They're just not really there to begin with.
A man's brain runs on facts and logic. A woman's on feelings and emotion.
This isn't to say guys don't have emotions, it's just not even on the same universe as a woman's.
And anyway, the last thing your girl ever wants to see is you breaking down into tears every time she does. She wants you to be her emotional rock. Trust me on this. Don't be a f'ing crybaby, shut the fuck up and fix it instead.

abbecker · Answer

The whole "Real men don't cry" saying is so silly and harmful. Yes please cry if you need to cry. Men are not robots they are human beings, so why stop yourselves from being emotional?

Nalix · Answer

It doesn't really, it's just that masculinity shows different kinds of emotions that women often don't understand. To be fair, women often show emotions that men don't understand either.

Another part of it is that men are often punished, both by men and women, for showing certain emotions. Women stop being attracted to men who show weakness, and other men respect them less. So they learn not to. Maybe you don't, but enough other men and women do that it creates a trend.

Anonymous · Answer

I think men are brought up to be stoic and logical. It's how we are. We don't rely a lot on emotions cuz emotions make you do things you normally wouldn't. I'm not saying that as men we should hide emotions, I mean do whatever you like but we follow logic just because it gets more results. I mean even I've cried but I think that hiding our emotions doesn't mean suppressing them. A society with people only emotional or only logical wouldn't work so you do whatever you like.

DiscomfortZone · Answer

Because the primitive gender roles/hierarchy conceptualization fucked everyone, but it's not politically correct to say it. You're only allowed to discuss how it affects women, otherwise you're a rapist. That's what the feminazi cult does for society.

VV3ZZY · Answer

My father taught me that I need to grow a "thick skin" in this world. Now I see what he meant. I needed to have good boundaries and not let at her people determine what happens inside me. However it doesn't do any good to fake this. People who are crying inside will act out in other ways, like bullying other people and acting reckless. Rather than knowing the secret. Which is "The negative things others say about you, actually are about them and not you"

KrakenAttackin · Answer

No, masculine men can and do have emotions, but they are not ruled by them. Men who cry in front of others are seen as weak by everyone (unless there is a really compelling event ie. loss of child or spouse). No one I know feels comfortable seeing a man cry and every woman I have ever known is seriously repulsed by the thought of a man crying.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

It only became a no true scotsman fallacy because men were always trained to do stuff instead of crying for it because it generally don't solve anything. Well it is true that crying don't solve things. But anyone who goes with that "real man don't cry" fallacy are just morons.

Youryeodongsaeng · Answer

Every time I hear someone say, "Boys/Men don't cry", it makes me want to think that they should cry and show some emotion - because it is ok to cry. But that depends if one wants to wear their emotions on their sleeve.

fonduegirl · Answer

The same way females are taught to suppress their sexual urges. Sorry not sorry. I think that's only fair.

Mickey9999 · Answer

I’ve raised my son to cry. My late husband was a master at it but he used it to manipulate. I’d rather have a man that was open and honest with his emotions than one that wasn’t.

ClosetHoe · Answer

It's not because of masculinity. It's because of how you were raised. Some people raise their sons to think that showing emotions makes you weak but that's not true.

Slartybartfast · Answer

The term for a man who expresses his emotions is an incel.  You can, it will make your make friends uncomfortable and ruin any chance you had with women who may sympathize, but will be repulsed by it.

Distants · Answer

Not necessarily just most (some) men tend to not be as emotional as women (not all for sure esp nowadays) or they express those same emotions differently. It’s a fact that men and women are more than biologically different.

madgoat · Answer

Although it is more difficult to cry for a man than a woman, I suggest a confident man, secure in himself, will let a tear out when his football team loses.

emerald_17 · Answer

U gotta find the right person to open up with n cry, cry alone, and hold your blanket dog or pillow. It's manly to cry. The realest of men cry. Own that shit!

pepperhicks · Answer

Emotions come out one way or another. Everyone needs to manage emotions, but trying to shut them down just puts off a reckoning.

Unit1 · Answer

We were programmed to be like this. Almost like it's on a DNA level.
Have you ever seen a woman hugging a crying man? I have seen it only a few times.
and what about the same woman standing by his side after a month?

Cryostatic · Answer

There’s nothing masculine about suppressing yourself.

DeeToPlay · Answer

What is your definition of masculinity and what makes you assume that a masculine guy cannot show his emotionally effected areas of life?

RagnarRedbeard · Answer

Emotions? You mean those things that come from ovaries?

razzmatazz090 · Answer

Because it's like telling your business. no one needs to know how you feel just like no one needs to know how much money you make or who you vote for.

AcidT0y · Answer

I don't know. I don't actively suppress my emotions or anything, they just don't come out. I assumed most guys are like that, whether it's natural or through social conditioning.

sensible27 · Answer

It shows weekness I guess... understanding of something one cares about I guess...

jamesgoldman · Answer

Because that is what manliness is about I don't have any emotions... it's great for business or poker

daren0326 · Answer

I don't cry often because I'm a stoic person, but it's because of men being conditioned to hold in their emotions since they were kids. Society made men believe this because of "toxic masculinity"

Snakeyes7 · Answer

They do but just not in public with very few exceptions. We have such a philosophy to prevent emotions to get in the way when we are in danger or don’t have time to emote.

Prof_Don · Answer

Men will be seen as weaker / not as strong, if he shows emotional sadness over minor things.

Don-_-Don · Answer

Because nobody in this world wants to deal with a man's emotions.

MiamiMadness · Answer

Because showing that emotion in many cultures is taken like a sign of weakness.

FýrdracaDócincel · Answer

It does.. but only if you're one of the "big guys."

azbaeu · Answer

Masculine strength allowed one to feel and express one's emotions knowing that it's not an expression of weakness.

JaeMercury · Answer

Hyper masculine society has programmed men to be this way

Iron_Man · Answer

Why do you need to cry around your girlfriend a lot

captain_voidwalker · Answer

Because energy wasted on emotions is energy that can be better spent sol ing the problem.

TechUser1993 · Answer

Because of how most of society teaches people, which is morally inhumane.

Barbaric · Answer

Why is everybody obsessed with men crying?

Thatsamazing · Answer

Uh it does. Common misconception.

Fuentes · Answer

Men should not be Nancy's

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Because its not masculine?

admles · Answer

I think a real man can express honest emotions.

Why does being masculine not allow emotions to come out?

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Girls, is men's biggest weakness their inability to express emotions?

Why does being masculine not allow emotions to come out?

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Girls, is men's biggest weakness their inability to express emotions?

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