Do shy guys reject like this or is he uninterested?

[Anonymous]

So I just met an incredibly cute shy guy (it makes me wonder how on earth he can be shy.) For a while it was just him, two other girls and me. The whole time he would completely avoid me/us.

He would sit all the way across the room (its massive) and refuse to inch closer. When offered a seat next to me he declined wordlessly. When he did get closer his whole body was turned away from me at one point as he focused on the girl furthest away (he knows her well), even though his chair faced me.

I ignored him and continued to speak to the girls until he felt comfortable enough to add something to the convo. I perked up and spoke to him a bit - which shocked one of the girls and she claimed it was a bonding moment.

So here is my question to all you shy guys out there! Am I really awful that this guy completely avoids me? Its my first time meeting him so why the body language?

When his male friends came over I could have sworn he kept looking over at me but by then I was also surrounded by hot girls. :D

[SophiaLeigh]

You asked "Am I really that awful that this guy completely avoids me?"

No. When it comes to shy people, (boys or girls) it's not you, it's US. We'll distance ourselves because we're too self conscious to throw ourselves out there and start socializing, not because we are intentionally avoiding people but because we're comfortable. We also can't wait for someone to start talking to us so that we can be part of the conversations and stop sticking out as the socially awkward one in the room.

He doesn't hate you... he just doesn't know what to say, but once you open up to him, he'll open up to you. It's nothing you did, it's just how shy people think. We KNOW we're avoiding people, too, so that makes us feel awful. But if you can talk to this guy more (provided you aren't shy too) you'll be doing him a favor.

[Marciano1]

Just remember if a shy guy shows interest but takes long to make a move, he is not playing hard to get...he is trying to find a possible way to communicate but most of the time the task (chatting up the girl) gets too difficult and they might even call it a day (not approach at all)..But ye, he was interested in you for sure..you either tell your friends to ask him if he was interested in you or you talk yourself... He is shy to tell you directly he is interested but he looks at you like that to say it. But its up to you how you deal with it :)

[Mesonfielde]

The body language is BECAUSE it's the first time meeting him.

People who are shy and don't know how to influence their own behavior enough are usually avoidant and try to maintain distance with whoever they're not comfortable yet with and don't know well enough and have no actual relation between them.

If you have established contact with him and he replied positively, then yes, now he won't be ignoring you the next time you meet. :P

[Asker]

So the staring once his friends came was due to curiosity? Don't take this the wrong way but it felt like trying to coax a puppy out, y'know? Adorable too. But when his friends came over he was much more relaxed but he kept staring at me. When I looked back he didn't look away or smile. Do you guys do this out of curiosity?

Admittedly I am shy too but his body language was so extreme that I became fascinated by it throughout the evening (...I was also high as a kite.)

[Mesonfielde]

Two or three years ago there was a girl who was fascinated by my body language's lack of expressiveness, it was devoid of any meaning. In fact, it was like - I hadn't heard of body language, I didn't use it, and I did not have it. Essentially - there was NOTHING to be read out of it. :P

If you want someone to smile, then smile at him. People don't want to be creepy by smiling randomly and awkwardly at people who wouldn't necessarily accept it.

...and I can't smile as well on purpose. xD

[Steve4783]

You might have been nice to him but you still put him on the spot and ignored him if you liked him you could have just tried asking him questions.

[SnackG]

Just sounds like a nervous/shy guy thing. I could see myself kind of doing that.