Uh I don’t see anything wrong or weird about his response at all. Appreciative and yet respectful. You’re the one with issues here if you think this is not good/normal or whatever. Maybe you’rebused to player douchebags only looking for one thing or something.
Yes you took the words out of my mouth. I’m used to fu*k boys
Nah guys usually dont go over the top sometimes.. i mean maybe not over text. You may be overthinking this cause id be flattered if a guy responded that way.
by the way the outfit is cute and dont let a guy validate your potential. You got it girl☺
Aw thanks babe
Opinion
76Opinion
... I have no idea what you expected. His response was actually quite flirty
----------------I think he is just trying not to be a savage.
Hmmm
It seems to me like he's really shy and/or lacks sexual confidence... OR, it's even possible that he's asexual or just has a very low libido. He obviously enjoys your company, so there's some attraction there, but clearly the sexual component is very low, which is strange. I doubt it has anything to do with you - if it did, he wouldn't be trying to arrange future dates with you - so this is a HIM problem, rather than a YOU problem.
So, at this point, it's time to put on your big-girl panties and TALK to him about it, and find out from the horse's mouth what his deal is. Expect it to be something from my first sentence.
Hard to say.
He was very polite.
I take it you wanted him to say something along the lines of how much he wanted you and how it makes him die to have you.
He was very polite and was kind of like "oh that is very nice".
He did leave it ambiguous as to whether he desires you sexually and if he finds you irresistible. He did, in a way, just sound like a pal.
Well, if you want to be more than pals he did sort react in a way that leaves it unclear.
That’s what I thought. It’s as if he’s got no experience in flirting. Either that or he doesn’t find me sexually attractive. Bit confusing tho because in that text message he asks me if I wanna meet up next week.. so not sure if he wants to meet as friends hmmm. Too scared to ask him as I don’t wanna force anything
Well... push the issue.
"So, does this picture make you feel like... doing anything?"
or
"Yes, let's go out love... by the way, would you also like to see these in person ;)"
or
"Yes, let's go out... maybe I'll where these for ya!"
Keep pushing it and flirting.
Too bad he is probably British.
An American guy would fall for your British accent in a heartbeat.
British guys are already immune to that.
What confuses me is if someone wants to be just friends why do they carry on meeting up. I wouldn’t keep paying for a guy and going out for dinner if I wasn’t into him. I really hope this guy does see me more as a friend
He's probably just polite, like @Miristheiss said. I'm the same way, and that's the same answer I would have given you. (Even though in my head I'm thinking "mmmm. Nice tits.")
I think he just really respects you and he doesn't want to come off a sleaze.
I remember in my early days of dating my boyfriend and i once wore a low cut summer dress to get his attention and i made a joke about my boobs being on display and he didn't have much to say on it and tried not to look the whole time.
If you want to spice things up you really gotta be direct with him. Men don't take hints very well and prefer for women to thell them what they want and when they want it. Hope this helps
You're blaming him & you're slower than molasses. The comment "did you treat yourself to anything else" was a line that could've gone two ways. Either yes & shown him something sexier or you could've played coy & asked what he'd want you to treat yourself with.
You’re right 😂
Yeah, i like the way you think. That line was definitely fishing for something from her if she was in the mood to take it further.
How would you have wanted him to reply? Honestly, I probably would have replied the same lol. What exactly do you say?
But every guy is different as well. First, you don't know he didn't get excited, you just didn't get whatever response you were looking for. But for some guys, like myself, lingerie does very little for them. I've often thought it's more for women to "feel sexy" than for guys, because it does do very little for me (naked is sexy), but some guys love it. But maybe he's like me? Also the pic itself is kind of boring (unless you've edited it for this site?). We don't see your face or anything, so it's like "yawn".
Actually if we take these messages and remove the text from them and just compare message length for both you one could make the argument that you're the one playing hard to get.
The man is making compliments, droping suggestions, using emojis... i meam yeah he didn't say "ouf can't wait to tear that thing off of you, and then tear you up!!!" But that's because he was taught as were all guys that being too forward and pushy scares girls away.
Does you invite you on dates? Make plana with you? If he does then he's doing enough if not then he's just not good at this stuff
Yes, we are going out for dinner on Wednesday. I just want us to be intimate so he can feel more connected to me. Cause come on, let’s face it.. all these public dates aren’t gonna get him hooked to me are they? I’m sure he wants to get some action
I'm sure he's itching for it. But I'm also pretty sure that he's been told a hundred times by girls before you that they don't wanna go home with him and he's decided to play it cool until the end.
I think your best bet is to invite him for coffee at your place after the date on Wednesday and once he's there eith you that should be all he needs to nake sure you too have more than coffee
Unfortunately I still live with my parents so not possible
He lives with parents
Look there's the reality of bad logistics here.
If you really wanna have sex you're gonna have to work your way around them.
Make plans to meet when they're not hom.
Or find a place you can borrow for a few hours.
Or even do it in the car
But in any case if you want sex that's something you two need to figure out
I mean, to be honest, it's not that good of a pic. Also, if he didn't want that, then it puts him in an awkward spot. You know how it's annoying when guys send dick pics? Well, not every guy wants a sext. Especially if the pic looks bad.
I once had a girl who was interested in me (she later revealed she was "bi," so it never would've worked between us) send me her topless breasts, without me asking or hinting for it or anything. Worse yet, her breasts looked like shoes. It was awkward AF because I didn't want to comment on her shoe-shaped tits, nor did I really want that pic anyway (I was on campus, with class about to begin, so it might've gotten me in hot water).
TL;DR: It's not that good of a pic and he probably didn't ask for it or want to be put in a position to have to lie.
May I ask why it’s a bad pic?
Making me conscious now 😂
Unimpressive lingerie.
Bad lighting.
Bad angle.
Looks like you barely tried.
I mean, it's the thought that counts, I guess, but that wouldn't excite me or anything, It just looks like you're about to go to bed after getting off work. But I'm sure the simps in the comments below love it.
Thanks for your honesty. I think I’ve learned that this dude just ain’t a sexual type. He seems very gentleman like.
Contrary to stereotypes, not all dudes are simps who get excited at the sight of a belly button like they just stepped out of Puritan Massachusetts and have just seen porn for the first time. Plenty of guys (like me) have access to the internet or Chinatown to take care of our sexual needs anytime we want, and thus, require more than just the most basic stuff to get aroused. Also, he may just not be into you, or some other reason. However, plenty of guys (if not most) are the easily excitable type, so even if he isn't, it won't be too hard for you to find another.
Damn that’s the 3rd person to say he’s not into me, ffs 😂 I might just cancel the date with him then cause as you can see in that text he asked me if I wanna meet next meet (would be our 5th date)
Maybe. Or maybe he's playing it cool. Or maybe he's just not trying to get MeToo'ed (some women out there be crazy, nowadays!). I mean, most men learn not to go nuts and be honest in how we feel and all. Because women always want subtlety and anytime we "act like men" (blunt and honest), it turns women off. My best advice would be to just point-blank ask HIM, instead of a bunch of strangers on the internet. Women think in mysterious subtle cues and body language puzzles. Men think straight and to-the-point. So just straight up ask him what he wants.
Thank you. I will do, I’m gonna ask him in person on our next “date”
Dang girl did you get a license with an outfit to thrill, Ring the alarm the alarm hot is in the building and I`m coming to fight that fire!
Baby if you see on the local news, a man was seen driving like a manic ( don`t worry that is me racing to you ).
Do you mean something like that?
My question would be what is it and I`m not placing blame anywhere just provoking thought that has been said inadvertently which prevents him from feeling free to say things like that.
If I may give an example, I once dated a lady that when she was angry said really damaging things and they stuck until, in the end, I became nervous about giving her any type of compliment.
The other type of personality I have come across just don`t give compliments under any circumstances people are strange!
I don’t know but if he’s showing lack of interest at least you know before you’re deep I love..
my ex made me believe he loved me and was all over me and always asked me to send naked or provocative stuff of me and he was always excited only to tell me at the end that he didn’t feel anything..
truth is better than lies... so if you see bad signs at the beginning, it’s good!! So that you know not to get involved too deeply and get hurt..
he lead me on pretending to be so in love and interested when he really wasn’t. It’s really sad It sucks!
good luck with that.. :/
Think I’m just gonna stay single forever. At this point I give up
No understands how badly this rejection affects my mental health
No.. you’re only 21..
I’m 34 and I felt the same way cause I’m so much older and I couldn’t stop crying for months! This happened in March.. it’s now October.. I don’t cry every day anymore.. of course I’m still sad about it but the pain is somewhat less so I know eventually I won’t feel strongly depressed about it anymore so I’m your case.. you have a lot of time to find someone else if he indeed is not interested and hopefully you won’t be played like I was.. because it is truly a waste of someone’s time... I feel I have no time to find anyone.. but you DO!! Stay positive and good luck!! 🍀
So you don’t think I should cancel the date with him next Saturday? Cause he asked me if I wanna meet up
It’s really up to you and how you feel... I think if you really like him then go for it and see what happens after but just maybe ask him if he’s serious about you and his interests and or intentions toward you.. and such..
I don't think he is shy lol. His responses were rather flirty as well as assertive, I mean he immediately asked you out lol. Maybe I'm not aggressive enough either than? Did you wanna hear, looks great, hope it's not expensive, imma rip it off,😘🔥😉
Woah nvm, he asked you six hours later lol
What do you mean? Lol I’m seeing him next week
Oh I woulda asked you out right away, after you said thanks boo.
Who said he didn't get excited? A lot of women post things like that JUST to get a rise out of the guy. If i was him i would have responded the same way. Not because you're not attractive, you are. But i'm not going to give you the satisfaction of letting you know that. Only to have you rip the rug out from underneath me.
Thank you for your honesty. I’m just used to lads replying back with “omg your body is amazing” or “damn wish I was with you now” hmm maybe he’s just a respect lad
Let's hope so. I would think after 2 months you'd know by now what kind of fellow you're dealing with. Do you guys just go out on dates? No watching movies ar eachothers houses. Park walks ya know, just relaxed time together where you gwt a better sense of rhe real person you're dealing with.
We both live with parents so can't really chill ☹️
Lol i'm not talking about canoodling. I'm just talking about spending time together.
He’s not even said he likes me or wants to be a couple so I doubt he’s gonna let me round his house and introduce to his mum.
He could've not expected that from you and just didn't know what to say, not too scare you off.
What reply, did you realy want? ( Just for my future reference)
You might be his first proper relationship and he is afraid to mess it up.
Or he doesn't know where you 2 are...
Or your friends are right and he is not as interested as you expected, but in my case I would make fun of you in that pic for showing it to me not your boyfriend...
In my opinion you should have talk with him and tell him that you like him and would like to take it further. Don't talk about marriage or babies yet as that is huge army of red flags at that stage...
This is just my opinion you can do whatever the f**k you want...
Thanks for the advice. Also he’s already been in a serious relationship which was 3 years ago so not like he’s not been exposed to sex 😂
The reply I wanted was a compliment on my body and how he wish he was sat next to me. But he didn’t seem to carry the conversation on and said “wanna do something next week?”
"The reply I wanted was a compliment on my body and how he wish he was sat next to me.". Oh, we're supposed to compliment your bodies in that situation? I had no clue. I thought if you said something about a girl's body then she would take it as creepy.
He could've been hurt there and don't want to repeat it.
Your wanted response can be looking like sexuall harassment in todays feminazi filled world.
I looks to me he is still not sure where all this goes or he might not be ready for it yet.
I’ll just cancel our date next week then cause I want a guy that’s all over me (that doesn’t have to mean sexual harassment) it’s called showing affection. That’s all I want but clearly he ain’t the lovey dovey type
@Dreamgirl97xo Noooo! Don't do that. You're making a common rookie mistake, sis. Just because someone acts like they're "all over you" doesn't mean they truly love you. You're just going to attract more "fuckboys" going that route.
As I told you before, you need to tell him what you need.
Just jumping to conclusions and making drastic decisions based on emotions is not the best think ever.
And you would only base it on my opinion, what is had to do with him anyway?
I might be wrong in all instances or I might be right, only he knows, so you need to ask him and sit down band have chat, where you tell him that you want man that is all over you 24/7 and he have to do it or you find someone else who will.
You need to talk not just hint or other games, that never work.
Do you really want relationship with him or just searching for excuses to end it?
He did and he complimented you. Not sure what the issue is lol. Cute lingerie by the way
Thank you ☺️
You got asked out because of it, so obviously, he liked what he saw. He's probably just a bad texter.
Thanks 😊
"he is not running after your body" He is finding true love, True love happens between souls ,
I thought guys were always horny tho
Man and woman are made for each other. All men are not same who want see only body parts and feels horny. In my case, i never try to run after body parts. I need honest and pure soul in life. Lots of guys/girls thinks same as me. Sex is need but it is just part of love. Depends on your heart and soul what they wants, That guy want to have sex or see only body parts he can see in stripe clubs or by giving money to someone. May be he is wants your true love
Lol.
That's a little ego crushing.
Maybe he didn't wanna creep ya out by sounding to excited🤷🏿♀️
I’m just not used to reserved lads
Nope not had sex yet. Only kissed. He prefers taking me out to dinner and bowling. It’s never his house or a hotel
Simps are the ones that froth up at the mouth, flooding you with validation and excessive compliments after seeing a pic. Some guys are not like that, and to them, it's not as much of a big deal to see a bikini pic so their response is more measured.
When you are a desirable man, your responses are more indifferent. But if you are not often desired by women, then when a woman shows interest you start salivating on the pavement because it's such a novelty.
So are you saying that he probably isn’t used to women sending him explicit pics like this? Tbh you can’t Even deny his response was pretty dead lol. Oh and he said his last proper girlfriend was 3 years ago so we know he’s not a virgin
Either he's used to women sending him pics like this so doesn't react as much, or was just playing it cool. The guys that aren't used to it, are the ones that over react.
Other way round dream
@RoastedToast huh?
😂😂 read the blokes answer again
I have but how is it the other way round? Also what do you think to my crush’s reaction? A bit dead?
I was replying to your first answer to his statement, in that he's probably used to being sent lingerie pics. Hence the way he acted indifferently as he probably didn't bat that much. Of an eye.
I think @Truthatanycost hit the nail on the head. If you want to incite a better reaction out of him get him horny another way. Pics ain't going to work.
Do pics / sexting not turn you on then?
Pics on its own? Not much anymore. It needs context otherwise you can just go on Google and look up porn and get more out of it 😂 just go talk to the guy and turn him on haha.
Maybe he didn’t want to say anything sexual because he wants you to take the lead, he seemed pretty flirty to me. Plus you never know, he could have sexual trauma and just feel uncomfortable talking about sexual things sometimes.
Im not seeing the problem to be honest. He's responding appropriately. If you want him to be more lewd then go bold and flash him. If that doesn't bring out his wild side then I'm wrong and you're right, but I honestly think he's just making every effort not to blow it
He's way into you. He's just being respectful. The photo was classy, not trashy- so he remained classy with his response as well.
I think it's a good thing.
Maybe he is like me. Lingerie does absolutely zip for me. Seriously, I think it is a giant waste of time. I am not at all turned on by it. I am turned on by her and what is under it. So give me naked every time.
Firstly lingerie looks awesome, secondly I guess he has a low sex drive cos he seems to not be fussed by anything sexual which I feel sorry for you. I would say he's interested just not a sex person tho
1. He might not be as attracted to you as you think he is.
2. He might not have been turned on because of some reason not having to do with you.
3. Maybe you are too use to guys just wanting sex from you.
Your body looks sexy in the lingerie.
Thank you, at least someone appreciates the pic
@dreamgirl97xo
You have looked wonderful in every photo that I have seen of you on here.
Girls expect too much from a text. What did you think was going to happen? It’s a freaking text. If you want excitement and passion use your face to make words at people directly, look at them and interact with them. Don’t expect “excitement” in text.
Does lingerie pics not turn you on then? I don't know I thought guys liked cheeky unexpected texts lol
Is does, and that's probably what happened. He got a cheeky unexpected text, enjoyed it... and now we're here for some reason. The only problem seems to be that you expected something different to happen. I don't see anything weird about his reaction. Everything here is the epitome of normality.
He sounds like he enjoyed it and he asked you to hang out what is it that you're perceiving as a lack of interest?
Well I’m used to guys saying “damn sexy body” or “you look so hot” I suppose he’s more respectful?
I'm not the kind of guy to say very sexual things in general but that doesn't mean I don't take an interest in women or show it. He's probably the same way.
It seems like he has respect for you. It was a good response, considering that you haven`t dated for that long. Maybe he is the type to take things slow? Either way I wouldn`t worry.
Thanks hun
He said it looks very good on you, so what's the deal? you already know he is shy, most likely won't say anything of sexual nature until he feels completely at ease with you.
And if he said something else you would be complaining about that too. Guys aren't always going to say exactly what you want.
I don't know what else did you expect. His answer was pretty positive to me.
You need to be blunt back if you got all these question marks in your head. Just ask straight up, do you not find me attractive? Obviously he is going to say I do find you attractive, then ask, then why...
I mean... I've never heard of girls responding well to stuff like "i want to fuck you" or "damn, i just masturbated to this."
It's always the subtle pseudo-compliments that have girls begging for more affection.
Aww he's shy and innocent. That's actually cute you just need to dirty up his mind a little.
Hmm or maybe he’s not sexually attracted to me. I bet if it was a hotter girl he’d be more dirty
You just want me to simp on you. Not gonna happen! lol
No I don’t 😂 got enough of that as it is. I just know most guys like white blonde girls so I’ve got my answer. It won’t even let me delete this damn post.
I had a female friend that sent me a nude picture that emphasized her breasts. I told her she doesn't need to do that because I don't think of her in that way. Maybe he doesn't see you in that way?
As in he’s got respect for me?
@dreamgirl97xo
Would you prefer a man who wants to be in your company and enjoys your personality? Or a man who wants to see you bend forward spreading your ass cheeks?
The 1st one 😂 but at the same time I want my man to be all over me ☹️
He responded pretty flirty tho? Your responses to his flirting was kinda dry so I see why he kinda just stopped
Look, first that photo is brill and anyone is going go want you!
Second, i do think he really likes you. He is just shy and trying to respect you which certainly isn't bad. Maybe just ask him outright if he wants a night somewhere with you cos your ready? I mean i wouldn't want to miss an opportunity with you 😍😍
He legit complimented you respectfully on a “lingerie” outfit that was not even anything jaw dropping. What more do you want
Ouch, I put a lot of effort into that lol
Thank you for your advice
I immediately thought that he wasn’t sure what the right thing to say was
Come on, what young 23 year old guy doesn’t know how to react to a sexy lingerie pic?
Are you serious? He asked you out and your doubting? I can’t. It’s like the subtle hints for sex I missed in high school... it’s that cringe.
What’s cringe?
Slang I think... that feeling when you remember doing something super embarrassing along time ago... that’s cringe.
Keep going. That's a green light. Maybe he'll get out of his shell once you're in front of him with that 😉
Yeah a guy you're dating this long should be super excited and immediately seeking to meet you. Not sure why he is so subdued.
☹️ tell me about. It must be my looks. I might not be his usual type? Hence the short replies
Im not sure, like why even date you then if you're not his type? You're a good looking girl and fit, so I can't really see your looks being a reason.
I think its something else, as I said previously, virgin or gay maybe.
I’ll meet up with him next week as per his request and see how it goes. If I don’t feel anything I’ll just leave it
Tbh I want a guy who will slap my arse and call me sexy. He don’t seem like that guy
It could be his shy innocent and maybe doesn't have much experience with dirty talk. She might also just want to be respectful which a lot of guys aren't these days.
He's being careful so you don't get the wrong idea about him. I mean he didn't want you to think he's a pervert or he's lusting over you.
Hard to say what's going on. Your friends might be right, or else the guy just isn't experienced enough to know that he is losing points.
Or maybe he's gay? :)
It’s just a bit weird when he is taking me out on dates and stuff. Like why waste your time if I don’t turn you on
I have a gay cousin who married a supermodel and they were together for about 10 years before they got divorced and he moved in with a guy who he live with for the next 25 years. Sometimes people are confused about their sexuality and are afraid to admit what they are.
I can tell you this. If YOU don't turn that guy on, he's not normal!
He likes you. He's just not desperate or needy. Otherwise he wouldn't have asked you if you want to do something next week with him
He seems to like it a lot... just he seems to have a bit of a hidden regret that he is not there with you while wearing it.
He’s not very vocal that’s all
maybe he seems to care a lot about you so you worry too much
in his words may not be so much desire but there is a lot of love.
Like love in a beautiful chilling way not the desperate kind..
You know the saying actions speak louder than words? Meet up with him and show him a pic of you in some other different lingerie in person. Or better yet go back to yours or his and put it on. Show it to him in person. If he's still not giving a horny reaction then you have your answer.
Trust me he's just playing it cool. I seen that pic with the scibbles on it and almost choked on my soda. Trust me he's playing it cool. Be careful it seems like you have a Cerebral assassin on your hands...😂
Loool. Thank you. Most of these comments are saying that he’s probs not sexually attracted to me as he would have said “sexy” or “hot” hmm
I DM you
Maybe he was trying to be a gentleman the odds of me keeping it there would have been 25/75 Lol sorry I just like taking it further, lol
He wasn't blunt with responses.
His just about meeting up with you more then talking.
So he might not be into texting?
I think so texting can get boring. He probs likes you in person more because your energy and all that is good. Text is impersonal really. I'd say go out with him or video call cos rona you know. You'll get more that way. Hopefully..
It may ne time to fire off a subtle clue. Something like... Do you like oranges? Yeah? (Or no. It doesn't matter) Wanna fuck?
If what you say is true... he is shy!
I would expect that kind of answer!
To all the guys saying he isn't sexual enough, maybe he just needs more help
He’s 23 tho and has been in relationships before. What help does he need?
Maybe he's just a little shy or isn't in the mood. Just give him time
Why would he be dating you if he wasn't attracted to you?
We’re not dating tho as he hasn’t said we’re an item. He just takes me out. Could be just friends?
Why would he just want to be friends with you. What do you do when he takes you out?
We go bowling, meals and drinks.
Anything romantic?
Is he going out with other girls?
What’s a romantic date to you? And he’s still on the dating app that I met him on but apparently I’m the only girl he’s meeting
Do you kiss and hug? anything further?
Just a peck. I don’t really like making out or being soppy in public places
It's hard to get into someone else's head. Maybe he is reserved, maybe he is gay, maybe he is not sure but why continue to see you if he doesn't like you
He could be like me and completely suck at flirting
Lol true
What did you expect from him? 🤔 I don't see any problems with his respond
“You’ve got an amazing body” or “wish I was there”
You're expecting a particular response and you didn't get it and now you're salty. Maybe you should have sent a more revealing pic. Lingerie doesn't do it for most guys. Not a basic one like that anyway.
Maybe he doesn't want to sound like a simp? 🤔
I genuinely don't understand what bothers you about the way he responded.
It wasn’t very sexual was it? Like “you look amazing” or he could have complimented my body. I don't know
Maybe I am over thinking
I'm starting to wonder if she's used to really thirsty guys responding like they never seen a bikini before lol.
But it's just text. I too would not necessarily show how much I'm sexually turned on via text. I don't know how well you know him as a person (two months isn't that long), but everyone's different in how they text and how they generally show their reactions.
Even though I'm keeping things down, my crush already knows I get quite excited around her. I mean, she doesn't hear my heartbeat, but she notices my glances.
It seems to me he is a shy person who want u but he can’t say it loudly
He probably likes it but do you want him to lose his shit over that? Many guys won’t. Don’t read anything into it. Does he get hard, does he cum, does he like being with you? If yes then no worries.
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