Is he cheap, clueless or selfish?

clueless-one
My boyfriend of over 2 years and I are both going through career and family issues , we are both in our mid forties. I don't know if he is cheap, selfish or clueless?

I told him that birthdays and anniversaries are important milestones to me. I am not looking to be lavished with gifts, but acknowledge the milestone with a card and a token. His last birthday, we took the day off of work, I spoiled him to no end, by choice. We had a 2 year anniversary and my birthday a few months apart. I planned an incredible beach side picnic to be ignored, his excuse work, stress, and a change in his medication made him feel he was crawling out of his skin. After a week of being upset I once again was the understanding girlfriend. So here comes my birthday last week, got a Happy Birthday text before noon and when are you free for lunch? picked me up for lunch, no card.no nothing and said this isin't your birthday celebration. I was hurt and dissappointed and I can't get over it. I am trying, but tonight he was not feeling well (he has been going through anti depression medication changes) and so I rubbed his back for an hour, heard about his pedicure today, and money he spent related to his business, and oh can I help this week with something business related (we are in the same field) Along with how great things are going to be when we are less stressed. I truly love this man, but I just don't know he will ask me what I want for any events, and my answer is always the same, I don't ask for gifts, you want to do something for me but don't know where to begin, then tell me so, tell me you want to buy me a gift but have no idea where to begin ok. He is easy to buy for, and birthdays, valentines, christmas, he loves what I get him. He has given me gift cards or asked me to pick out my favorite perfume when we were out at a store as my christmas present. I don't know what to think, but this really hurt me, I told him that him not taking the time to even stop and get a card makes me feel like he doesn't even care. And now we are coming up on Christmas and his birthday the month after, I won't change what I would do, I am very understanding but how do I get past this?
Is he cheap, clueless or selfish?
2 Opinion