Should I contact my friends with benefits after he left me on read?

Question

my friends with benefits has suddenly stopped replying to me. He left me on read 2 weeks ago. I still want to continue to be friends with benefits’s as I need my sexual desires to be fulfilled. I’m really not interested in anyone else. even the guys at my uni I’m not attracted to. Should I message him to ask whether he wants to continue to be friends with benefits or just unfollow him and never speak to him again. I at least would like to know whether he wants the same thing or if he’s talking to someone else. I don’t really want to be in a relationship as I’m focusing on my studies so i’m fine being friends with benefits and being detached from any emotions with him. Also sex helps me with stress so I would like to continue seeing him. Pls help a sister out. What should I message him as well without coming off needy. I was thinking something like “hey, haven’t heard from you in a while. Are you still wanting to be friends with benefits? Because I am And wondering if we’re on the same page”.

also guys when you ignore an friends with benefits does it mean you have found someone else you would like to date.

Answer 1

Crazybeeguy

Xper 5

He's most likely found someone else, also if you are at a University, he's playing the field.
If you don't "like" anyone else, you have to change your mentality on who you like.
Find a single guy that you're attracted to and make a new friends with benefits, but keep it safe.
Last but not least if a guy is terrible at kissing or something else teach him what you like.

React

2 People

graciebear

1 y
Yeah you’re right. I’m just going to leave it and not fight for it. I’ve thought about it and it’s not really worth my time anymore. I can find another guy who’s more consistent and doesn’t leave me on read
Crazybeeguy

1 y
Yeah, hey I get it. If there are no feelings for this guy, then find another guy who interests' you. I know very busy can't find the time. You run into them all the time.
graciebear

1 y
He ended up sending me a pic on instagram but I ignored him back lol I cbf with him. He’s so inconsistent and I hope he finds someone he can mess with cause it ain’t with me
Show All Show Less
Crazybeeguy

1 y
If you both ever talk again, ask him why he ignored you. Not only that you are a lovely lady, you'll find another. Also, have you guys had the exclusive talk?
graciebear

1 y
yeah one day if I talk to him again. We’ve been on and off. I used to hang out with him around this time last year. We had a close connection but we ended up having another talk and he says that it’s hard for him to commit. In terms of the exclusive talk we both had a conversation 4 weeks ago when I last saw him that he doesn’t want a relo and I said I don’t want one as well. Which I’m okay with. But while I was hanging out with him his tinder notification buzzed on his phone right before we were getting down and nasty with each other. I don't know it’s a bit shady to me tbh. Lol we’ll probably end up talking again in the next 6 months or so I just don’t want to deal with him me bc of studies so imma just lay it off
Crazybeeguy

1 y
Sometimes you just have to take time to think about it, it sounds like you know the answer. The hard part is coming to terms with it. On another note, why is it hard to find someone else?
graciebear

1 y
Yeah I agree with you. We have a lot of things that we need to work on as well, especially him. He told me has adhd and that it’s hard for him to focus on one person. But you can’t blame everything on having adhd. I guess he just doesn’t reciprocate how much I like him. He’s very honest with me and even said that he’s not boyfriend material. If he really liked me though he would treat me like a queen that I am and ask me to date him. But I guess I’m not the one for him. He likes girls who are ditzy, artsy and have a big personality. I’m the opposite. I’m quite stern, serious, quiet and shy at first. I’m not an artistic person but I do love science and learning logical aspects, hence why I’m studying psychology. I think he doesn’t have the attention span, focus or interest to get you know me more and reveal the different layers to me and that I can be quite bubbly and outgoing. But he likes girls who are dramatic and problematic and I’m more chill and down to earth. And the reason why I find it hard to find someone else is because if I like someone I’m fixed to them and I focus on the thought of them. I don’t roam around and talk to other people because my main interest is in him and to have sex with him only. But I guess it isn’t gonna work out anymore as friends with benefits with him. I’m currently on tinder swiping away and I’ve been talking to a guy who is a medical student. He’s asked me for dinner this Friday night so I’m thinking of meeting up with him. I’ll see how it goes 🤷🏽‍♀️
Crazybeeguy

1 y
I have ADHD too, it's bad. That out of the way, I can easily talk to strangers. If this guy is good looking then, those girls will give him the attention he craves. The drama is something is happening all the time, so it draws his attention, it also make it easier to draw him in. I actually prefer complex women, they are usually more intelligent. Plus, intelligent women have a broader set of interests, and are more likely to try new experienes. So, I try something I have never done before. You're right he should be treating you like a queen, when you have the time you will be more free to have fun too. It also sounds like he likes emotional women, is he more logical? Or emotional? I understand that you have put time and energy into him, so you're invested. I make female friends, I am a healthy person for them, so I like to get to know them. I invest in them too. Now, sometimes it's long lasting, it depends on how much they need me in their friendship. I don't look at it as the one who got away, I look at it as an experience in my book of life. Plus, I learn more about women in general. Also, maybe he is not getting the attention he needs, if I don't meet the needs of a women, she won't stay with me either. Just being a friend, helps me to be a better analyst at my job, believe it or not. When I am with a women that I want to date, with her being complex let's me know what she likes and dislikes. This helps me shop for special gifts or be romantic which I really enjoy doing. If I can't be me then I am unhappy with someone, so I don't want to be in the relationship. I do take medication now which makes my life easier, when I want to have fun and be outgoing I just stop taking it. From what I am reading the guy you are about to see doesn't seem to catch your interest too much? Maybe you enjoy the excitement that pulls you away from your very busy school life, the friends with benefits and time with him is a relief from the stress.

Answer 2

graciebear

Yeah you’re right. I’m just going to leave it and not fight for it. I’ve thought about it and it’s not really worth my time anymore. I can find another guy who’s more consistent and doesn’t leave me on read

Answer 3

Crazybeeguy

Yeah, hey I get it. If there are no feelings for this guy, then find another guy who interests' you. I know very busy can't find the time. You run into them all the time.

Answer 4

graciebear

He ended up sending me a pic on instagram but I ignored him back lol I cbf with him. He’s so inconsistent and I hope he finds someone he can mess with cause it ain’t with me

Answer 5

Crazybeeguy

If you both ever talk again, ask him why he ignored you. Not only that you are a lovely lady, you'll find another. Also, have you guys had the exclusive talk?

Answer 6

graciebear

yeah one day if I talk to him again. We’ve been on and off. I used to hang out with him around this time last year. We had a close connection but we ended up having another talk and he says that it’s hard for him to commit. In terms of the exclusive talk we both had a conversation 4 weeks ago when I last saw him that he doesn’t want a relo and I said I don’t want one as well. Which I’m okay with. But while I was hanging out with him his tinder notification buzzed on his phone right before we were getting down and nasty with each other. I don't know it’s a bit shady to me tbh. Lol we’ll probably end up talking again in the next 6 months or so I just don’t want to deal with him me bc of studies so imma just lay it off

Answer 7

Crazybeeguy

Sometimes you just have to take time to think about it, it sounds like you know the answer. The hard part is coming to terms with it. On another note, why is it hard to find someone else?

Answer 8

graciebear

Yeah I agree with you. We have a lot of things that we need to work on as well, especially him. He told me has adhd and that it’s hard for him to focus on one person. But you can’t blame everything on having adhd. I guess he just doesn’t reciprocate how much I like him. He’s very honest with me and even said that he’s not boyfriend material. If he really liked me though he would treat me like a queen that I am and ask me to date him. But I guess I’m not the one for him. He likes girls who are ditzy, artsy and have a big personality. I’m the opposite. I’m quite stern, serious, quiet and shy at first. I’m not an artistic person but I do love science and learning logical aspects, hence why I’m studying psychology. I think he doesn’t have the attention span, focus or interest to get you know me more and reveal the different layers to me and that I can be quite bubbly and outgoing. But he likes girls who are dramatic and problematic and I’m more chill and down to earth. And the reason why I find it hard to find someone else is because if I like someone I’m fixed to them and I focus on the thought of them. I don’t roam around and talk to other people because my main interest is in him and to have sex with him only. But I guess it isn’t gonna work out anymore as friends with benefits with him. I’m currently on tinder swiping away and I’ve been talking to a guy who is a medical student. He’s asked me for dinner this Friday night so I’m thinking of meeting up with him. I’ll see how it goes 🤷🏽‍♀️

Answer 9

Crazybeeguy

I have ADHD too, it's bad. That out of the way, I can easily talk to strangers. If this guy is good looking then, those girls will give him the attention he craves. The drama is something is happening all the time, so it draws his attention, it also make it easier to draw him in. I actually prefer complex women, they are usually more intelligent. Plus, intelligent women have a broader set of interests, and are more likely to try new experienes. So, I try something I have never done before. You're right he should be treating you like a queen, when you have the time you will be more free to have fun too. It also sounds like he likes emotional women, is he more logical? Or emotional? I understand that you have put time and energy into him, so you're invested. I make female friends, I am a healthy person for them, so I like to get to know them. I invest in them too. Now, sometimes it's long lasting, it depends on how much they need me in their friendship. I don't look at it as the one who got away, I look at it as an experience in my book of life. Plus, I learn more about women in general. Also, maybe he is not getting the attention he needs, if I don't meet the needs of a women, she won't stay with me either. Just being a friend, helps me to be a better analyst at my job, believe it or not. When I am with a women that I want to date, with her being complex let's me know what she likes and dislikes. This helps me shop for special gifts or be romantic which I really enjoy doing. If I can't be me then I am unhappy with someone, so I don't want to be in the relationship. I do take medication now which makes my life easier, when I want to have fun and be outgoing I just stop taking it. From what I am reading the guy you are about to see doesn't seem to catch your interest too much? Maybe you enjoy the excitement that pulls you away from your very busy school life, the friends with benefits and time with him is a relief from the stress.

Answer 10

spartan55 | 21.6K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

Oh, no. Being left on read is the ultimate slap in the face... 🙄

React

2 People

graciebear

1 y
ikr but it ain’t the end of the world :)

Answer 11

graciebear

ikr but it ain’t the end of the world :)

Answer 12

In_Trance | 7.1K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Master

So contact him

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Answer 13

seanscoopers | 121 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.

Xper 6

Yes I think so

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