Girls, Ladies, what is the deal with male coworkers?

[Anonymous]

Hey ladies,

Ok I'm coming to you because maybe y'all can shed some light on my situation (s). I've been working with my company for quite a while now and my encounter with males is making my ears go up in question in regards to their behavior. A few times I had my male boss offer me a ride to my neighborhood whenever he brought his car, on another instance I had a married man talk to me a wee bit too much, I get stares from some other male coworkers... like Disney eye stares.. you know those big ole, dear in headlights stares. And of recency, two guys from separate companies that I have brought in to do external programs for my youth have oddly enough flat out told me (when we were communicating in text) that they want to go down on me... not to mention an intern that kept asking if we can get touchy-feely when I close my program one evening. Not to mention I had a male customer ask me if we could go outside and make out on my break.

What THE HECK.. is going on? First off... I come to work dressed modestly in business attire. I'm a jokester, the silly nerdy but classy woman in my company. What is the deal? Do all men behave this way in the workplace when they are around women?

One of my girlfriends tells me I should feel flattered. But in a way I don't because I would like a man who wants me for a relationship. Not for whatever quickie fantasy he has in his mind.
I see other women meeting men at work, some end up being their boyfriend and others end up marrying. Why am I stuck with the horn-dogs?

Updates

+1 y

Very well said! I totally agree with you. We just gotta keep our focus and not entertain these type of guys. Better is on its way to us anyways. From one decent woman to another *high five*

[Changiis07]

Well first of if you are a jokster then most men take it as you are flirting with them. Also if you smile a lot. I don't get that much at work anymore because they just take it the wrong way. I started just being serious and not joking around too much. That way you get the respect you want from them. Maybe it's not them, maybe it's the way you are coming across

[Asker]

I appreciate your reply. However, my workplace is a library and I make general jokes with my staff in general. What I can say is I am the polar opposite of a lot of the other females that I work with that are pretty harsh in how they talk. If I have to spend 7 hours working with people I just want to be happy, which is why I am baffled as to these males actions, responses etc. I mean for example I simply helped a male customer access his email that he was having trouble getting into and he asked if he could thank me by getting me a coffee, or can he give me a hug. I said no to both, that it was quite alright. I do have one staff member who I was told gives in to the advances from some of the males.

Honestly I highly doubt its me. I don't see how jokes about old books, videogames, upcoming programs is anything flirty

[Changiis07]

Well you're just beautiful and men can't help but to try and take you out. Even married ones and all. I would take it as a compliment. But yes it would be nice to just find that one that isn't a creep

[Asker]

Kind of you to say that perhaps beauty could be it. Personally I see myself as some nerdy lady... But even if so be the case, like you said it would be nice to find someone that isn't a creep. Clearly my company is crawling with one too many of them...

[Changiis07]

They probably see that you are a catch and you know men are men lol They always be trying to see what or how far they can get with woman. I had a married man here at work wanting to take me to lunch. I respect the woman enough to say no.

[Asker]

You are so right.. they will really try it to see what they can get away with. You are a decent woman just like me. Most of these men are just out of control. Sooooo many creeps to bypass just to get one gem. *sigh*

[Changiis07]

And see some woman are not as decent. They will just go with it. But nice to know there's woman out there that don't throw themselves at these guys. We just have to keep focusing on ourselves so that we are ready for the right one who will respect us