Hit do you get your boyfriend to put in effort towards the relationship?

[beautifullyscared87]

Since Valentine's day I have been telling my boyfriend how much it hurts that he hasn't even read half of the book of 200 reasons why I love him. I out a lot of heart into it and he has only read it that day. Even when I keep bringing up how much it hurts he still has yet to read anymore of it. Whenever I bring up something that I would like to do or even spend time together even once a week or an hour a day would be nice. It always seems that my feelings don't matter or there not important enough to him. Still nothing has been done toward our relationship unless I initiate it. What are some ways I can try to get him to make an effort to help us become better together as a couple? Ways to communicate to him really how much it hurts me still? Better explain that actions speak louder than words? Help any opinions welcome.

[GuyWithaBrain]

this might be bad advice but it seems like he only wants you as a woman/girlfriend to be around not to do things or show emotion to as it would be normal just to be with you this could be related to something he seen or been around or it could be that he isn't interested and if he is why doesn't he show that he cares!!
To me i would start putting pressure on the relationship saying something more along the lines like do you even want to have a relationship with me this is showing that you willing to end what is there however this can also take a turn for the worse and things could end fast however this is all up to you at the moment it seems like he is not interested and does not want to put in any effort so if a person is unwilling to do something they need a reason why to do something if they truly care or love you then they will do it buy putting pressure on the relationship if its over something else the relationship will end quick and things will change as i said this might be bad advice but i would think its better to find something who wants to be with you and shows it by spending time with you.

if you take the other route you will need to constantly be the one to do things and make plans to do things which leads to working yourself more so hopefully if they are worth it you can get them to change enough to want to show more to you and spend more time with you.

[hahahmm]

It's not about communicating, to me. It's about you two having vastly different values and you're not in sync enough to be a good match. You should leave the relationship and find someone who is a better match. You could try and convince him with words for 50 years and he never changes his mind.

That said: You just assumed he would value the "200 reasons"... and you pushed it on him. Imagine if he gave you a nice shiny tool box full of tools & then he got pissy because you're not using them to fix cars, plumbing, door locks and so on. Reading just doesn't sound like his thing. The vast majority of guys wouldn't read the "200 reasons" or it would take them a year+ to do it. I suggest you don't try pushing a book on a guy unless you KNOW he loves reading poems/books all the time and he's into that kind of thing.

[Anonymous]

In my experience with men they only act that way when they aren't that into you or through aren't sure you are the best they can do. If you want to know if he cares walk away and move on... Date new people and if it was meant to be it will. I did that with my current boyfriend and he got back in touch with me. We are now together and he dropped Evey other female and made SERIOUS effort but not until HE decided that he wanted me. There is nothing I could have done to make him choose to act right they have to do it on their own.

My advice is walk away he's not that into you.

[hahahmm]

Good advice. But also don't expect a guy to always be available. A guy with any life goals/priorities of his own isn't available 100% of the time.

[Opinion Owner]

@hahahmm Yes this is obviously true but most men don’t put in effort unless they know they have to at least that’s been my experience and I say men but I actually mean people we generally get away with doing as little as we can LOL

[Anonymous]

Not trying to be hurtful but it sounded pretty boring. Not every one is romantic in relationships or have to put same meaning to things as you do. Instead of putting effort to things what you wish to receive, try something he would like to be a part of it. If you don't want that, try to find one who are like you rather than forcing that person to be like you.

[matthonker]

Be better in bed