Why was I sad and disappointed a man at work got promoted out of the store and will not be working with me anymore when he sexually harassed me?

[Anonymous]

For months he played with my emotions my heart and sexually harassed as well as emotionally harassed me. He tore me down, he bullied me. Etc. He hit on me and kept bringing up sex. He did much of this even though I told him many times to be nice, stop doing XYZ, stop talking about sex etc.

I agonized over the mental situations he put me throguh so much. I didn't know whether to report him to HR (I don't think HR would give a damn even to this day... This work culture is full of sexual harassment, period.)

And cried hard at home about him and what he did to me. He broke my heart several times.

He led me on making me think he wanted to date me and liked me. He didn't reveal he had a girlfriend for months at first and I had no idea a man who was pursuing me so heavily would be taken. That's how much he was all over me. I didn't even THINK of him being taken.

Now he is gone for a few months and will be training as part of his promotion. He is set to be a boss but not to work with us any longer. So apparently he will no longer be working with me anymore. I probably prayed about him leaving or me leaving the job before. I have ignored him and tried to block him out while at work many times and often failed and got sucked into the charm and stopped caring how he mistreated me before. You could call it forgiving but I don't know if its called that.

Finally I can go to work and there's a less chance of having to worry about being dominated over by this guy. I dont know to what extent he purposefully hurt me. I actually believe finally that he was abd is just ignorant as to how much his words and actions hurt me over the past year.

[Lenolye]

Sounds like this man became the center of your life for a very long time. Whether you welcomed it or not doesn't matter he was there. In all that time your life changed with him at the center.
Now that's gone.
Maybe it was your body dealing incorrectly with the pent up emotion. Or maybe your just feeling that way because now your life is changing and you don't want it to.

He was a deeply connected part of you. Whether you wanted him to be or not. It's not surprising that part of you would miss something that's been a constant for so long.

I will say that no matter what the details you sound like you'll be better in the long run with him not around you.

Please, you and anyone else reading, don't hesitate to talk to HR when you feel that way at work. No matter how small the issue and whether it's sexual or not no coworker should ever make you feel like you're in a hostile environment.

[Asker]

Thanks i guess you're right. My body should be jumping with excitement at the end of that chapter instead of crying. Soon it might. After all the big stress is gone.

[Lenolye]

Still a lot of stress left to deal with. Depending on how deeply you've been affected it may take some time to balance back out. Be patient with yourself.

[Asker]

You're wesome and smart. Thank you. He really tore me apart. I guess thats why he became so deeply connected to me. Along with the sexal harassment. But things looking brighter now. Can only go up now that he's gone.

[Asker]

Awesome*

[Lenolye]

I wish you the absolute best! One day at a time and try to make each one a bit better than yesterday.

[Iron_Man]

Maybe you like the challenge and you liked him after all? All the attention. He will find somebody else

[Anonymous]

Dont worry karma will get him

[Asker]

Thanks

[Avicenna]

Sounds like Stockholm Syndrome to me

[Asker]

I think thats just how sexuality works. I dont think it should be called a syndrome as if its weird. I do think its just sad that guys take advantage of women like this and dont only do sexual words and actions to their wives which they are alowed to.

[Asker]

If i was his wife fine. But bcause he givds nothing he is just taking and stealing.

[Asker]

he's basically a theif. Why couldnt he leave me alone? It was at work. I didn't go to work to date or be heartbroken or led on. He toyed with me so much and pushed and pushed me to open up to him. I keep to myself. I didn't want him anyway. Why couldnt he just have left me alone?

[Asker]

He comitted robbery of the heart and sexuality. He stole from me. Why can i expect a theif to return with treasure? He is a taker.