Guys, How close is too close to a female friend?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend has a female employee who is also a long time friend of his employed at his business. And she works mostly remotely but when she does have to come to the business in person from out of state she has been staying over our house the night before. I did not have a problem with this and do not normally find myself jealous of other women. But I noticed their body language is very flirty and they sit unnecessarily close to each other on the couch. Then one night he didn't come to bed and I came out and they were cuddled up on the couch spooning. He had drank a lot and passed out. The next day when I questioned him about it he said he was drunk and just passed out in that position and it was nothing. But it looked like cuddling and she hadn't drank anything. I told one of my female friends about this and she says I am over reacting - that it isn't a big deal. And he says I am over reacting. I felt like I had been cheated on but with everyone telling me I am over reacting I chilled about it. But now he is talking about going on a business trip where he will need her to come and they would be sharing a hotel room, because it is an expensive hotel and only one room is available. And this will probably happen from time to time in the future. How am I supposed to make peace with this and trust him? Or can I trust him? They are good friends and comfortable with sharing a room. And I don't want to be a jealous woman trying to control what he does. Am I wrong to be a little upset about the spooning on the couch? He swears he just passed out drunk and remembers nothing. That there is no attraction- nothing like that. So guys does this sound like a line of BS or am I really overreacting? And I was about to get over it but then I found out about them potentially traveling and staying together on business. How should I feel about that?

Updates

+1 y

I have tried talking about it, but he says it was innocent and doesn't want to talk about it further than that. He seems to want me to just drop it and is annoyed when I try to talk about it. And he agreed not to cuddle or sleep in the same bed in the hotel. So I guess I just have to trust that. I am just having trouble not being angry about what happened before and wondering if they can really keep the promise to not do it again.

[ohshee]

I honestly don't know if I want to even answer this question feel bad for you has he made any effort at all to try to change things up to try to not to use that girl have you made any effort at all to talk to you and tell there's nothing going on. I don't know I think you have every right in the world to be jealous I think you have every right in the world to be concerned and why he doesn't see that she's putting you in a position to piss you off I would be pissed if I was you do a thing I can say is stay calm be collected when you communicate with him ask him certain questions because if he's lying to you he will also tell you the truth in the same sentence and nobody has to share the same motel room come on a business owner is not going to put his employees in Jeopardy by doing that and it's up to your husband to bring his own money to get his own room if that's the case you should be going out of his way to prove to you that nothing is going to happen like I said I apologize you have to go through this because I feel every single one of your words I feel it to my bones I feel it in my heart and if the fuck up situation but just remember stay cool and calm and collect don't get pissed off when you're communicating if he starts getting pissed off then he did something wrong like I said listen to every single word because he will trip himself up he will also tell you the truth in the same sentence as they lie you just have to be smart he thinks that he's smart and going to get away with something you just have to be smarter if you want to catch him

[NathanDavis]

While I could say that I can be this kind of close with my friends that are girls, the cuddling, the sharing rooms and all that, that's all stuff I've done while single... when I'm in a relationship those are things that have to go differently. I could tell you that at least in my case nothing else happens, however, the problem is that they are doing all these things and it seems like they do it without a consideration to how you feel about it, that is the problem.

Whether or not they're doing something shady, you have to bring this up and talk about it, if it bothers you this much... if he says that you just have to deal with it and not overreact, well, then that's up to you. If you think he has to stop these things, then that's up to him... so, talk things through, with him.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

When people are drunk they do some odd things & your boyfriend was drunk & he probably thought he was cuddling on the couch with you.

[Iron_Man]

Talk to your boyfriend

[In_Trance]

Tldr. They've ficked and will again