What’s up with this weirdness?

[Anonymous]

so there’s this guy who I’m pretty sure has some sort of crush on me. He’s constantly hanging around, I catch him staring at me and he does things to get a reaction out of me. Him and his family members are always staring at me. Under no circumstance does he make an effort to engage with me though. I get the sense that certain behavior is expected of me but I am not providing it.

[spartan55]

"certain behavior is expected of me" huh? Like what? Party tricks? Juggling? Singing showtunes? This guy checks you out and your mind starts running wild. He's probably trying to figure out if you like him or not. Because it sounds like you haven't done a thing to show interest.

[Asker]

Well I pulled him to the side and gave him chocolate one day and then after that he disappeared and I haven’t seen him since.

[spartan55]

Yeah, that's not going to do much.

[Asker]

Why not?

[spartan55]

Because it's not a real big deal, why don't you just talk to him? In person.

[Asker]

How is talking a bigger deal than someone being thoughtful enough to get you a gift?

[spartan55]

Really? Because it's how you actually you know GET TO KNOW SOMEONE.

[Asker]

But we’re in a huge crowded public space and the same could be said for him. He doesn’t talk to me either

[spartan55]

But he has shown interest (according to you) you really haven't... so here we are. Guys want equal effort from girls. Girls can't expect to just show up and have the guy do everything.

[Asker]

What if I ask him to coffee and say that I’d like to get to know him more?

[spartan55]

Asking him for coffee already implies you wish to become better acquainted. I think that's a great idea.

[Anonymous]

Shy guys need the women they're interested in to approach them too; if you hold h at arm's length and never say hello he won't know A) if you consent to being approached, and B) whether of not you're romantically interested in him.

Giving him chocolate was a really nice gesture; but I'm not sure how he would have taken it, since it doesn't explicitly answer A or B.

[Wise4myage]

Sounds like he's very shy, if you like him you're gonna have to make the first move.

[Asker]

Well it’s hard for me because I’m really shy too and have never even come close to engaging with a guy I liked.

[Wise4myage]

You just need to try harder.

[Asker]

I don’t think I’m gonna see him again. I also think that he and his sister thinks I’m playing with him on purpose. I just moved to a new city and I feel like these people judge me so harshly because I’m different from them so everything I do will be perceived negatively. They can’t read me and they have made no effort to do so. That’s how I’ve felt from the beginning and I think his behavior towards me the past months have been a reflection of that. I don’t show my emotions how they think I should so they assume negatively. I don't know how to fix it. I thought the chocolate would be a step in the right direction but now he avoids me.

[Wise4myage]

I think you should follow your guy instinct on this, and best of luck to you in your new city.