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Is it true that men will always hold your past against you? (Page 2)
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I mean i dont get the double standard tho girls say once a cheater always a cheater but if she sleeps with 600 dudes he should just pretend like it never happened. Its just unrealistic
Because every guy that’s cheated and you take back will cheat again...
What if a girl cheated in the past, different?
Yes in the same way the women holds men's past against them, it's a 2 way street you know.
Not always I'd rather leave the past where it is. I could never hold someone's past over them cause mine is most likely easier to hold over me
The past is everything we were, don't make us who we are...
don't get me going 🎵 lol
Some definitely will unfortunately. But not all. Hopefully as time goes on more men will be comfortable having the same expectations of their partners as they have for themselves.
some of us do, which is why I'm able to have that viewpoint. Because I valued my body more.
I think many women assume guys get a lot of action and have the same experiences and body count. This is not true.
Girls control sex, so most guys will sleep with them given the chance. Guys on the otherhand have to be really good-looking and exciting before they are in a minority of guys who get to smash wildly in their youth.
That said, most guys are going to be in the single digits, or teens at best. Find and older player and he will have some stories, but the tip-top guys who have bods, bank accounts, attitude and time to play are far and few. Yet many women assume all guys are getting the same. They will say things like looks and coin don't matter, but you see them chasing guys that are not that average. Not until they give up and come to their senses.
Back in the day, the women had body counts, but no where like they do today. Most guys begin to look at their woman funny if she has a huge triple+ digit history, porn (which includes OnlyFans), and has been with friends and family.
@Qdbrown that and some of us are just Christians who wanted to wait as was prescribed by Scripture. I think a lot of women think we are unprincipled animals without any integrity or honor. That's how society makes me feel. Like I'm a worthless piece of shit for being a man. And I'm even more worthless for being "nice" in the way the Old Testament told me to treat women and wife prospects. Society is so ass end backwards on this shit today. These younger ones coming up are so lost and stuck on their damn phones. They never enjoy the special moments anymore. You can't even form special moments with them because they're always texting or on social media. I'll challenge this young lady to stay off of all social media for 1 week. See what she discovers by doing that.
A man’s competition anxiety will show up if you start revealing too much or certain aspects of your past. It’s best to carefully select what you reveal.
Not true. It will only make a difference if he’s insecure. If you have different values about that, it could also make a difference.
I mean I’d use it to gauge certain character aspects of a person but if it was bad enough I simply wouldn’t be with that person anymore
men? haha it seems you have accidentally misspelled "women".
Sorry. I asked from the perspective of a woman because I only date men.
yeah i get it. Don't worry. I was making a joke because from men's perspective, we commonly see women being the ones to hold our past against us until the day we die. No idea if men do that at all, but I guess anything is possible. :)
To be honest I wouldn’t be comfortable dating someone with a crazy past. It might just be because I don’t really have a crazy past? Who knows.
nothing wrong with being uncomfortable with someone's "crazy" past. But I'm talking about how girls will bring up that time we looked at their friend's cleavage at the carnival that one time, and we'll be like, babe... that was in 2010 and we weren't even dating yet! rofl. I have a super vanilla past too, and I know I'd feel weird if someone I was with was uh, famous for their crazy antics. lol, so I know what you mean though. I think everyone has their comfort zone of what their comfortable with their partner having in their past for sure.
Lol and that’s just us being territorial about our man’s :)
hmppff. You misspelled "crazy" hehe
A mature man doesn't expelled his concerning time playing a diplomat to a woman's bs or past. They ex-part'e themselfs quickly of the abiss and move on quickly.
No!! Overall, guys are more inclined to put the past behind them. I think women hold grudges (and the past) much more than guys do... at least that's my experience.
I wouldn't say that. It depends on the past. If she has been doing porno and everyone he knows, know what she has, and shows them her from their phones and computers, I doubt he would mess with her long term.
And that goes down from there. If all his friends had been with her, or knew half the town had been with her, would he not take her seriously.
And I can tell you guys don't like their wive's history. Most guys would feel better if the number was under 50 guys. Unless they were a real dog in their day. It's all relative.
No differently than the women in my life who have held it against me or hold it against me to this day. Yes it's true. Oh well.
I got a past! Lol was a teen stoner! Slept with a handful of guys. But it’s my past I am a completely different person now! Lol I don't know I’d want a dude with a past!
Yet another reason to be against marijuana.
So if a man beats and cheats on steals money from and ditches a handful of gfs the past is the past right? Dumbest shit i ever heard.
@bamesjond0069 She just said she doesn't want a dude with a past.
Not if they’re mature. If they do, they shouldn’t hold much weight when it comes to being a candidate for your affection. Everyone has a closet, some people choose to more open about the bones they keep in them.
If a partner doesn't believe in having sex, it shouldn't be held against them and remain in the relationship no matter what happens.
Some will, some won’t, and some will only judge u on your past if u appear to be stuck in the same patterns of behavior
No. In a healthy relationship there is no need to dwell on what came before unless it is causing unhealthy patterns in behavior.
Where did you hear that? NO, repeat, NO guy that LOVES you is EVER going to do that! So if he's doing that, doesn't love you that's for sure.
This is bullshit. Someone could easily spurt out something like that in the heat of an argument when they're irritated, even if they love the person. Statements like this just make people expect perfection in every way from their partner.
@Shoichiro you're on point
Never heard that, and never been an issue in my experience so far.
I imagine this is something immature people do.
nah it all about the people for me i dont give damn what she did befor meet me bc im not dating her past but try make a future with her and can't do that if im all was look back
Depends what's in her past and what she's done since to make up for it. Slept around with a few guys? That I can handle. Murdered a baby in its crib? Hmmm no thanks I'll run far away!
It doesn't bother me and why should it? But then again I am not like most guys lol
Do you mean sexual past or just in general?
A lot of guys will judge a girls sexual past but i dont think most will do it for their general past.
Well if my girl admits to being in a gangbang at one point her life that shit will always be in the back of my mind
I like to hear it all but I also don't judge. If she had a threesome, well lucky her in my opinion. Tell me all about it while we romp :)
It's true for guys and girls. Best to just throw all your baggage away when starting anew, unless there is something that absolutely must be said.
That worked back in the day. Before Tinder.
Translation = I don't want to suffer the potential consequences of making bad decisions in my past.
It would not matter to me what you did in your past once we were together. As long as the past is the past we are okay... After all, I have a past too...
No. It’s women that never forget and store up resentments.
No, I never even wanted to know anyone's past relationships.
Not me. I ain't an asshole.
Unless of course it's some sort of history, that will repeat.
I’m not sure what’s implied by “use it against her at some point”, but it definitely factors into any long term relationship.
Men will hold your past against you if you don't learn from your past. Every single time. You made your mistakes and until you learn from them, you have to live with the shitty things you did.
I do not believe that is true. At least not with me. We all have a past and you either accept it or you don't but no sense dwelling on things that happened before you were a couple.
Some will, i would if you was on some disgusting hoe ish or did a sex job id never date you
I personally would no matter how much i loved her, i'm a jealous person with a lot to give so i wouldn't ask for less.
When i start a new relationship we start out with a clean slate. Then we learn our past gor one reason. To learn not to repeat our mistakes
Only manipulative bastards will.
Yes, it is true, and there’s good reason for it. Don’t do dumb shit ladies
That’s why I’d rather not know. I never ask girls about their history. At least the sex stuff. And honestly I’m pretty ok with about anything.
You can't run away from truth no matter who makes you remember if you have done acts then if it’s present or past you will be judged by basing that Its yours not somebody else’s
we all have a past and we all did things of course before they met them, i would say if that is gonna be a problem it may not work out with that person.
Yes its true but also no guy worth a damn is going to let you not tell him. The only way around this is get a dude from the bottom of the barrel or have no past. Such is life.
That’s what secrets are for..
@On_cloud_wine if you can get away with it. Its usually pretty easy to find out. Its not like you're being a mail order bride from a far away land. Casually talking to your friends and family is one way to find out.
Exactly
I hope this isn't true.. I was molested and raped by a few family members. My fear is I'll never be able to find a guy hope will understand and support my issues.
Some men will a lot won't
Only if she starts throwing up my past or doing something negative due to my past.
we all have a past, so if you don't want to hear about it, don't ask.
After your married a few times and piled on some years. Your views change as you age
There's no fucking way I will ever use my partner's past against her.
You’d date a 3 times cheater that’s a felon and has left several men at the alter?
@VanillaSalt If the lady I was dating had given up her less savory ways, who am I to constantly remind her of it?
So Dave I got a bridge for sale huge only $500. You too can own the Golden Gate Bridge for just $500 what do ya say… mark -.-
@VanillaSalt And I have a muffler bearing to fix that leaky exhaust.
The past should be held against you unless you've made clear change.
only if it happens during your time relationship with your partner and the incident keeps occurring repeatedly like a repetitive habit they won't stop
No. This problem is unisex and differs from person to person depending on how insecure, controlling and/or or spiteful they are.
Yes. And cosindering most women these days rack up enough mileage on the ole pussy odometer that they can get a quote from a used car lot. I dont blame guys for doing it
It’s always a question. Sort of. I won’t date women that’s had 30 men in her past.
Not if you are upfront.
If you are 2 years into a relationship and you drop some bomb of new info then sure but thats less using your past against you than yousing your secrecy against you
Well, I am not that kind of person, if she told me about her past I would say her to forget about it. And never complain to her, that you did it because of your past life.
It'll vary from guy to guy. And it will vary based on how promiscious you were.
This is a simple one. If YOU know a guys past. And will say you're OK with it. Will you then turn around and silently judge him forever after that? You think guys are really any diffetent?
It's true. I knew my ex was a shit person and I used his past in the heat of an argument so that he would stop reaching out to me.
@Starwitch23 exactly! If she's slept with like 20 guys she's a whore. You dress her like a soccer mom and send her to a PTA meeting but she still going to just be a whore in disguise.
No that's a female thing to do, bringing shit up in every argument even decades later.
Do you think that a person who makes stupid (they should know better) choices in their youth should simply get a blank slate because they are older and feel their past shouldn’t matter?