You don't have to take anything from him. The fact he thought to be so insensitive gives him the right to be mad about his penis? This is how men get into trouble and then want to know how come women be so quick to divorce. Nobody wants to be abused like that. Both of you need to sincerely apologize, but you need to think about how this marriage is going to be. He doesn't see he is ruining his marriage. He needs to fix it. You both shouldn't have said that, but these men are going to learn that hard way when you insult and affect a woman she will go below the belt. He attacked you and they want to call it to advise? That is not advice. If you never looked what he wanted because he was an athlete why he married you? Men who behave like this need to grow up. I would never marry or date a man who treats women this way. Men making sexist comments like this are this close to getting a divorce because the last thing a woman needs is to be feeling used only for a body. A woman doesn't care about his penis. She cares about how he treats her. If your penis comments hurt, that means that is all your focus and pride are on. Their penises. It's not that he is insecure about it. Any man would. But that they pride in their sexual ability and that is how many of them lose relationships with women.
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You don’t mend anything. Let him have his tantrum. Dude is hella insecure and not shy to share it. Pathetic really. Instead of sitting there wondering how you should fix this you should ask yourself what you’re doing with him at all. Stonewalling is emotionally abusive and so is his comments about your body. I suspect this is not all either. You’re not setting up a great example for your kids by allowing this sort of behavior to play out. Call him out on his bullshit once he’s calmed down and ask him to see a therapist. Demand change or leave. Both for your and your kids sake.
He did wrong making that comment but you did worse.
So in your mind you think: he was insulting and he hurt my self esteem. I want to make him see what it feels like. I want him to feel the same insecurity I feel.
In his mind: I worked out hard to look good so why can’t she put in the same amount of effort. If she did harder exercises that butt would look nicer.
But there is one MAJOR difference here. He insulted you over something you can change. That doesn’t mean he should of said that or at least in the way he did. But still he looks at things on what they can become. That’s male lógical thinking.
You gave him a very deep insult on something he has absolutely zero control over. What’s he supposed to do? Be Austin Powers and get a penis enlarger kit? Unless a man gets surgery (huge risk) there is very little he can do about that. That was decided for him on a genetic level.
That wasn’t not a fair insult to give him. You should apologize and just say you were upset but his penis is fine.
Women have emasculated men for so long in the name of feminism, there's somethings you can not just say sorry and think that will take care of the prob. Yes he could've communicated better and this situation would've went a different direction. I'm sure he knew of your insecurities about your bum and was possibly trying to help. You went for the kill shot first chance. Please talk to him any chance you get and try to get over this bump in the road of life. If you don't talk through this he will secretly resent you and it'll will get worse. Eventually leading to bad endings.
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You definitely crossed the line, don't get me wrong he is also not right for saying that but coming from a fitness side it makes sense there are just better ways to say it. What he did is take a jab at you with that comment, but with your comment, you literally hit below the belt. One thing you shouldn't do is attack a man's ego because then you will see the worst of him, and let me tell you that's not a small argument since you attacked his ego, and saying it was a reaction is like saying its the first thing you thought which may have some truth to it, I would say give it time and there are some things you can do to make him not mad anymore, but we are all adults so you should already know what that is.
For a lot of men, attacking his penis size or sexual ability is a nuclear option - if you use it, nothing will EVER be the same. I'm not even sure if there's a female equivalent - for some women, it might be like calling them a bad mother, or ugly, but even then, I'm not sure is carries the same weight that it would for a lot of men.
I don't know your husband, but this literally may have been the thing that leads to the end of your relationship. Many men would rather be cheated on than hear this. So, I wish you luck, but you're going to be dealing with the consequences of using the nuclear option, one way or another.That’s a very big insecurity for a LOT of men and it’s something that is damn near impossible to change. Plus it’s something that is directly linked to our self image by that I mean in terms of pleasing a woman so being told you’re not good enough and there’s nothing you can do about it is a major blow to our self esteem. He’s an ex pro athlete of course he’ll want you to workout and in a year or two that whole thing is solved. But after 11 years having my wife tell me that my dick is small would probably devastate me too
Wow, you responded to a fist fight with a nuclear bomb. Yeah, he threw the first punch but... seriously? You never knew he was insecure about his penis size? Well that's likely because he wasn't... until now.
Some things cannot be undone. You are going to have a very, very difficult time recovering from this one.
What he said was wrong too, but exercise and diet can fix some things and not others. His penis size is obviously in the latter category. Your comment, and the insecurity you have permanently etched in his consciousness, is something he will have with the rest of his life.
Now, if he has said you have an ugly face, that would have been more along the same lines as your comment about his penis size, but still not quite at the same level of hurtfulness.
Good luck, you're going to need it. I don't know how you undo the damage you have caused to him, your relationship and your intimacy.Boobs and booty can be adjusted but his boy can not.
It worse than telling him he is ugly. The thing you say will obsess him on the bed.
I think you better let him cool down and trying to find a best moment to say sorry.
Tell him you have reasons to love and choose him to be your husband and his little boy is not one of those.
Tell him you does not care about his size and at that time you were not control your emotion. You respect this relationship and does not want it is getting worse.
If you think it is hard to say than write everything in a paper and give him. Then ask him what could you do to prove everything you said is sincerely and to forgive you. Try to talk to him with a soft voice. Good luckLmao. You can't. You fucked up. Not that it matters but guys know they don't have the biggest dong in the world just like you don't have the firmest butt. I don't think it was wrong he's being immature yeah cuz I'd probably bust out laughing but I kinda get it.
I got as far as professional athlete and had the AHA! moment. All his life he had people making a big deal about him. He has an image of himself and buys in to the idea that penis size is a representation of virility. You just shook his tree.
You apologized he should just move on. .Ew boy... you two know how to party.
When you do this to a man don't be surprised when he walks away for someone that really does appreciate and want him. This is the ultimate fail. Oh well.
And when he does, you won't have any say when his new woman is spending as much time raising YOUR kids as YOU do. And your standard of living will go in the toilet.
What a way to fuck up your life. Wow. And unmentionable damage to your children, but we won't even get into that. SMHThings will never be the same again. In intimacy he will always remember this and it will destroy it (and prevent erections). No amount of apologizing is going to change this one. And by the sounds of it, he does have a small one so your comment simply confirms what your subconscious has always thought about it... that it was always too small.
Frankly you were out of line…penis size is unchangeable but you can get a bigger butt technically through deadlifts and squats. So it’s not comparable…first you should have been like “hey I don’t appreciate you making that joke”…and then if he kept making the joke, then you can insult something he’s bad at…but not something he has no control over
Nothin to mend.
He got a small dick he got a small dick.
He needs to get over it.
Unless you told him it sucks and worthless then you done fucked upIf your husband was a professional athlete, you have to remember those guys are constantly getting their egos stroked by fans, the media, groupies etc. He sounds like an immature asshole, but you chose him.
It sounds to me like you need to talk to him about getting some counseling. He clearly doesn’t allow his feelings to be seen or understood well and doesn’t even know how to handle being hurt. He just isn’t communicating well. and that is only something that he can work on himself. There literally is nothing else you can do until he chooses to let you back in.
Ouch! You are truly fucked. You just took your relationship to a place from which there is no return. He will never be the same, nor will your relationship or sex life.
Your question here, and the responses from female users, just underscores the fact that women are either too stupid to understand the impact of such a hurtful comment, or too heartless to care about the harm it does to a man.I would explain to him you are insecure about your body the same way he is insecure about the size of his dick. Ask him if he would like to come to an agreement where he never mentions your body again unless it's a compliment and you will do the same regarding his dick.
For someone who doesn't deal well with conflict, you sure as heck seem to say the wrong things to avoid it!
Just explain that you love him and nothing will ever come between you two and sure we can all be insecure but things happen, I feel after he comes around things will be different
Small relative to who's? You've been sleeping around? Maybe he will now as well...
You crushed his ego. Sometimes it can't be restored. You absolutely crossed the line. He will never be the same. Next he will be thinking that the sex was bad for you. You have no idea of the damage you did to him.
Women there are two bells you cannot unring once rung
1) tell him his penis is small
2) tell him the baby isn't his
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