What does it mean if a single guy turns down an invitation to go over to a woman’s home?

Question

This seems like it would have the opportunity for sex. What are some reasons why a guy wouldn’t want to be in that situation?

Highcountry · Accepted Answer

It is hard to guess why he did not show up. It is certain that you should not keep wasting your energy pinning over him that you could use elsewhere to improve your life. I am sure that there is a man out there that is hoping to find you. Get out and live your life. Go to events that interest you and you may find a man there you like. He may be a little shy, you could have some basic conversation to loosen him up.

TheBigGuy9 · Accepted Answer

Sounds like a talker. He might not even be who he is. He might have a girlfriend. Who knows. Whatever it is, it isn’t good.

Aguysopinion4799 · Answer

That he doesn't want to go over? -__-

What more is there to explain... I mean... I have had scenarios where there were girls I knew that were my friends and were more flirtatious than others, and they had invited me over to their house in the past on holiday events and proved themselves to become very forward on the attack regarding flirting, but they were intoxicated mind you, I didn't let them do anything but they were constantly trying to do something else and they told me the next day they thanked me for not going along with any of it because they remember none of it.

As such, I have refused invitations from them when it is going to just be myself and them or other girls, because I don't want to have to rely on my morals so heavily that if a girl gives too flirtatious of a nudge then my morals break, so I would rather, for the safety of them and myself, have someone else there as well.

But, there can be other very simple reasons! like how my friends around me love going out and going to see each other and before covid they were the types who pretty much went to one anothers house weekly, whereas I just don't have the social energy to do that, I like relaxation at home and then socialising when at college or work, I find it hard to feel energy to want to make plans on most days, whereas others around me love to make them regularly. With this being said, it could be that the guy simply has my same trouble with social energy.

I haven't had a moment when I didn't want to meet at a girls house out of a negative feeling, even with my most painful rejection I got from a girl, when she asked if I wanted to come over and hang out I wanted to and there was no tension because I was enjoying the company of her whole family as well, it even healed my heart a bit more since her little siblings and parents continued to say how much they wished I was part of their family and asking when they will see me next, made me feel really happy to hear that from them.

But I am getting off topic I think... 0_0

My point is, there are plenty of good reasons for why a guy would not want to go over to a girls house when invited, it's just people never think about them.

But... Just looked at what you said to OlderAndWiser and that would not be classed as you inviting him but him making a proposition of him coming to your place, in which case the question would be

What does it mean if a single guy cancels a proposition to come over to a womans house?

Which I would say could be that he genuinely does have a busier life than you thought, he isn't actually single or is taking an interest in someone else, something came up abruptly that compromised his plan to visit the womans place, there are a couple different reasons now that it is in this format but the socialising difficulty one still stands firm on this one too and he may also be overthinking how far things will go if he visits which may make him less likely to want to visit.

MrOracle · Answer

I obviously don't know the guy and can't say for sure, but it seems to me like he lost his nerve. Maybe he hasn't dated/had sex in a long time, and is nervous about it, but he got up the courage to initiate things - and then when he was closing in on success, it all got too real for him and he lost his nerve again. Remember that, for a lot of guys, sexual performance is directly tied to ego and self-worth, so he may be terrified that he wouldn't be able to perform, or perform up to what he perceives as your likely standards.

Yes, it's also possible that he realized that he wasn't as into you as he thought he might be, but I'd say that it's far less likely that this is the case then for him to just have performance anxiety - or even perhaps, relationship anxiety. Guys know that if you start having sex, that the girl is going to want a formal relationship in most cases, and maybe he just wasn't ready for that.

I know you're thinking "well, duh, why is he just thinking about that NOW?" Well, frankly, some guys are just idiots, and they start thinking about dates and companionship and sex, and that all sounds great, and they allow themselves to forget or ignore what comes next - until something "wakes them up" and reminds them.

Anyway, it just sounds to me like this guy just wasn't ready for dating/sex, despite his earlier enthusiasm for it. As I said, some guys are just idiots.

GoodManDave · Answer

For me personally, I am very cautious about being alone with a woman for any significant amount of time, especially one I don't know very well. But I know that seems unusual for most guys.

So in your case... I don't know. Maybe he was busy? Maybe he wasn't sure if you were kidding? Maybe he was thinking "Oh, crap, I'm wearing my lucky ratty old Spiderman boxers with the holes all over." "Ugh, wish I hadn't downed that gallon of Mountain Dew and fifty Slim Jims for lunch."

I have no idea. Could have been a bunch of things, completely unrelated to the idea of having sex with you. He could have just been tired... gassy... nervous... had an early day for work... or... just not interested, but likes "playing" with ya.

Cynicaldreamer · Answer

First off, how close are you to said guy?

If you know for a fact he's single and he turned you down, he's probably not interested, or does not see you in that way: let's be blunt. He might just view you as a friend and not want to do anything that seems uncomfortable.
Outside of a few close guy friends, I'd never invite a guy to my house alone because it sends the wrong signals.

Or he doesn't want to be too forward. Believe it or not there are still men out there that want to take things slow. If he barely knows you, he probably doesn't feel comfortable going to your house.

It seems like you're rushing things by expecting him to come to your house too soon. Invite him out to dinner, or hang out in a public spot first. Now if he turns that down as well, he's not interested in you.

Anon621 · Answer

There's plenty of different reasons. Something unexpected came up (and he's being honest), he legitimately cares about you and would prefer to go somewhere other than your house because he's not getting under the sheets (me personally I usually tell people this directly when they invite me to their house. I appreciate your invitation but I don't think it's the best idea if you don't know someone well unless your meeting their family), and also a ton of other reasons such as he might want you to come to his place instead for whatever reason or maybe he's not interested. In conclusion, depending on the guy it could have a different meaning

oldawg · Answer

Maybe he's nervous or shy and waiting for you to start something I don't know. You know I usually find in my experience did I never tried very hard to be with someone and especially if a girl is trying and it's the first time I might say no not right now and to me it seemed to piss them off a bit or makes them Wonder why is he doing this is there something wrong with me. So in my experience I find they try harder and finally when we do have sex it's really good. So I'm thinking he's waiting for you to start something. I'd like to know how this turns out for you

OlderAndWiser · Answer

1. Maybe he isn't single. Maybe he already has a girlfriend or has a love interest that he is trying to develop.

2. Maybe he is homosexual.

3. Maybe he is asexual.

4. Maybe he perceived the invitation as "slutty" and isn't interested in "that kind of girl."

Inexpensivefurniture · Answer

Maybe he's not into her that way, maybe he isn't in the mood for something like that on that night, maybe he's taking a break from dating, maybe he doesn't realize it's an opportunity for sex, maybe he met someone recently and wants to pursue that possibility exclusively for now...
There's dozens of reasons

Lliam · Answer

I can't imagine. He may not be sexually attracted to her. Or he's either gay or has sexual hang ups based on insecurity, religion, fear of cooties, STDs or getting her pregnant. Maybe he's afraid of girls. LOL

Turning down just going to her home though? That's not necessarily even an invitation for sex. Is he afraid she is going to rob or rape him? 🤣🤣🤣

Red_Arrow · Answer

Gay? When I was younger and single I would never pass up an invitation to go to someone's home, even if we both knew it was just to visit. It would seem like I did not like her if I refused a generous invitation.

humpbackjack · Answer

It could be a hundred different things. It could be he’s shy even some guys that do a lot of flirting can get shy or even they’re just all talk or perhaps he just got devastating news right before the offer it could be three smoking hot porn stars car broke down in front of his pad and they want to wrestle I mean this could go on for forever maybe he’s not into women

magiusX26 · Answer

he doesn't see her in that way

he is not interested

he misses social cues easily

he is unsure if he should

he is not as single as believed to be

he has other things to do at that particular time

he is very tired

he may have some sort of issue with her home/place
(think things like not liking her neighbors/neighborhood, parking issues, her housekeeping for good or bad)

Bricealan · Answer

Well, if it were you flower, a guy would have to be absolutely INSANE to turn down an invitation to come to your home !! Can't imagine any reason why any guy would turn down that invite, unless, well, I can't think of any reason.

Where do you live? I'll be right there !!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Interstate · Answer

It sounds to me like a bunch of head games. He led you on with being interested in paying a visit, but when he found out you were taking him seriously, he backed out because he didn't mean it.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Well, I don't want kids or stds, so assuming I found her attractive, physically and mentally, and she could prove to me she can't get pregnant and doesn't have any infections, if asked, I'd bang her till her legs were too wobbly to even stand up, multiple times a day.

But if she can't prove those things, no sex, no kissing, not even a hug.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

It means he is thinking with the wrong head or he could be married or have a girlfriend or boyfriend even or maybe his sausage is broken.

Guardian45 · Answer

It could mean many things. "I'm tired." I'm too busy." "I'm stressed out." "I don't like her that way." "I LOVE her, but I'm SO NERVOUS." "I'm NOT ready yet." "AAAAAH! I'm FREAKED OUT!"

bgreek · Answer

Here's a piece of advice for free Everyone past becomes their future In other words, a persons past has strange way Of showing up in someone's future

rcljr · Answer

I was invited over, there was holding and hugging and nothing else, I guess that’s how you figure out whether you’re compatible or not. So, unless you’re just inviting him with a guarantee of sex he may not want to go through half the motions to be turned down.

worldscolide · Answer

Per your update, I have no idea why, unless he was not really interested and leading you on.

key_statistics · Answer

There is no one answer to this question. It could be that he does not like you in that way. Aka your in the friend zone. It could be that he wants to get to know you more because he has more on his mind then just sex. Like long-term goals and objectives like having a family. It could be that he is not in the mood. Or that he has a relationship with a other women that he do not want to mess up.

jillybeanns · Answer

Sounds like he probably didn’t expect you to take the initiative with setting up plans now he’s nervous and backing out. How long have you known him? He could be nervous about not being able to please you if you guys have talked about sex.

Rob17792 · Answer

because he's all talk no action. a complete bullshit artist

InferiorElegy · Answer

So many reasons, maybe he just doesn't feel safe being alone with a female at her house, there are so many negatives to being a single guy around females these days. Big reason not to is false rape accusations. If I was ever falsely accused, I would leave a note saying that it doesn't matter if they prove my innocence, my life is now ruined and there's no coming back from something like that and then I'd kill myself. Too much to go wrong for a guy.

ohshee · Answer

Well you either doesn't like you which I doubt that is or he told you some sexual things that he cannot back up maybe or maybe he's just scared LOL

lightbulb27 · Answer

Being playful. Dog caught the bus scenario… got nervous. Expected to be turned down? Only he knows

Azura_88 · Answer

Because he's bored that you actually said yes and called him 'anytime'.  He got nothing to hunt now so nothing new and thrilling for him.

clampfan101 · Answer

I’m waiting for marriage. I wouldn’t turn down the invitation, though. Benefit of the doubt. I’ll need evidence it was for that reason, and could always just leave.

t-8900 · Answer

A lot of us would love to just have sex but we also have terms and conditions. Like being in a committed and loving relationship. I love sex but I love being loved w whole lot more.

LisaRaven · Answer

Sounds like "all talk no action." Maybe he's afraid he can't live up to his words.

Pummel · Answer

I don't date anyone and I have been single for 15 years... no relations either... so why am I answering this?

Sometimes I get on a roll answering questions that I don't know when to stop... lol. I'm sorry

54Will · Answer

My first guess is that he doesn't trust the woman with a condom full of his seed anymore than he trusts himself to refuse sex if offered and he is smart enough to know that if that woman wanted, she could destroy his life with some of his seed. He is protecting himself.

Adam1978 · Answer

Well it can be as simple as he have no interest in having sex or get involved with you. Single guys have a right to have standards you don't meet.

Dragonstarterplus · Answer

Not in the mood that night? Not sexually attracted to her at all? Tired? Busy doing something else? Etc?

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

Doesn’t like her that way. I’m sorry girl. If it’s you.

BoobMan · Answer

Two most likely possibilities are he doesn't find the woman attractive or he's clueless about the giant green light and has something else going on that he'd probably bail on if he could see said giant green light.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

One reason is he might think it is too soon and he isn't ready for it.

MrCommodore · Answer

He might just be an introvert or shy, or maybe he wasn't sure about her situation or sure what she was asking.

avengers197197 · Answer

Wait for few days he will definitely initiate that topic again He just needs some time to process things and will reply you sooner with his answer u want to hear.

Cryptoanonne · Answer

As a guy, only 2 reasons this could ever happen: he thinks your place is gonna be gross OR he doesn't want to have sex with you

laraWM · Answer

Very difficult to tell without context. Maybe it goes too fast, you could ask him out in some other place?

Jlegacy · Answer

No one said religion. Personally I would turn down sex for fear of God and love of righteousness.

FinalFantasyBro · Answer

He probably not into her or he could possibly be in a relationship already. He might be a gay man or he probably not interested in dating at the moment.

K-I-S-S · Answer

Have you seen his tool, maybe he feels insecure about it. 🤔 So doesn't really want to take the risk.

jasco · Answer

Might not be interested, might have misread the signs which for some people is more likely to happen like myself, has things to do afterwards, or just doesn't feel ready for sex

m33lad · Answer

He’s turn off by the girl
He’s annoyed by her
She has something that turns him off
Or the girl is not his type

Or he doesn’t care about sex as he’s got his number games out of the way already.

tough_guy · Answer

As a guy who was in same situation, a really hot gitl invited me, although I went but didn't start anything cuz I wasn't ready and kinda shy!!

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I did this once. It was because I was too shy. And I actually liked her. (And no, it had nothing to do with sex.)

exitseven · Answer

He might be in a relationship with someone else. He might not want to get involved with her.. Maybe the woman is married or in a relationship.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Maybe he is afraid to go for fear he's not ready in the case leads to sex but can't see why he would turn a girl down just to hang out at her house

es20490446e · Answer

When I did that it was because I expected the gal to want sex without a relationship.

fwbss · Answer

It simply means girl should look for someone better like me to take over.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

I did once. I wasn't interested in the woman in that way and it was a good job that I turned her down because I later found out that she already had a boyfriend and was pregnant.

hotpaulie · Answer

It means he’s either gay or very intimidated I don’t know if I can ever turn down an invitation to a woman’s house

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Not every guy constantly wants sex… it probably just wasn't the right time 🤷🏻‍♂️

scooogy · Answer

What does it mean if a single guy in a pub invites you to go over to his home? Wouldn't you want to have the chance for sex?

Cnlngler · Answer

Depends where, what city, how the woman looked, many things.

Ceslovas · Answer

He most likely was scared of... u know -'massage'part- introduction😂 https://youtu. be/wUVJf2CkNNw Starting at 1:05 -

Xoirwinkan · Answer

Maybe he thought you too easy and went to stick his head in the fridge.

TallAnon · Answer

Can't be arsed, other shit to do, not horny, more interesting girl came along, not feeling it.. many reasons.

What does it mean if a single guy turns down an invitation to go over to a woman’s home?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said