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So I glanced over at this guy from across the room and we locked eyes with eachother for almost a minute, it felt deep and intense at the time, but I soon forgot about it. I only saw him an entire year later, but when I did, he froze in his tracks when he saw me and just stood there staring at me until I walked past. He then stood at a distance and locked eyes with me for like 30 seconds straight, this became a habit of ours and everytime I engaged in it, I feel anchored to it.
I never wanted a relationship with him, as given his family background, I knew it'll never work. I've dated other guys just to get over him, but it's been 5 years, and he still continues doing this and I can't seem to move on from it. Even tho I stopped, now he basically just watches me from a distance, and it's getting quite uncomfortable. I'm 25, he's 28 now.
I never wanted a relationship with him, as given his family background, I knew it'll never work. I've dated other guys just to get over him, but it's been 5 years, and he still continues doing this and I can't seem to move on from it. Even tho I stopped, now he basically just watches me from a distance, and it's getting quite uncomfortable. I'm 25, he's 28 now.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
What's even going on? He's looking at you. Yawn
Lol you clearly don't know the difference between looking and staring intently into eachother's eyes. If you look at someone it's nothing, but you simply can't stare at someone for that length of time without there being something.
Sure you can. And, yeah I know the difference.
It's been five years... lol... don't think it's happenin.
Yeah, just asking what is going on
You can't. Actually staring for 30 seconds straight is sexual harassment if it's not reciprocated. Update with the times u can't just do whatever you please
You don't have any clue what you are talking about. No one is staring for 30 seconds. I think your concept of time is off.
It definitely is 30 seconds or more, it feels like an eternity, it is also about the time when you tend to dissociate with your surroundings and you begin to feel like u're in some trance. I've flirted with other guys and it never goes for more that 3 seconds, so this is much different.
This guy acts super nervous around me, he often also hides behind the door to stare at me. This became just a habit of ours and he literally just stands there watching me from a distance coz I don't participate in what he's doing anymore. It is only now, that it's super weird since I stepped out of the whole thing that was going on between us.
So what are you going to do about it?
I don't want a relationship with him, we're not compatible at all as he was raised in a completely different manner to myself. Things won't work out, so I just want to keep this as something special in the past between the two of us and move on, which I have. I just wish he could do the same instead of watching me from a distance as it's over from my end.
Just for some closure, I wish I had a name or a label for what was going on, that's all. Perhaps there's not one..
You don't always get closure, and it's not necessary anyway.
What does how you were raised different have to do with anything?
He comes from quite an orthodox family, so he can only choose amongst someone his parents introduced him to, if he finds a partner on his own it's judged and frowned upon. Which is why it can't and won't work out, and I don't want it to work out as it' was beautiful as it was.
Sounds like India 🇮🇳 perhaps?
We were raised in Australia, but they still follow Indian traditions. How'd u know?
Just life experiences, several coworkers, etc. It's all very different than the US.
This whole thing that I'm experiencing with this guy wouldn't happen in the US would it?
No, not unless you lived in a tight community. There are areas where immigrants live in a concentrated neighborhoods and maintain many of their traditions and beliefs.
Yeah, that makes sense I guess. I don't come from much of an orthodox family myself, so I never understood why he was doing all this, however I did get caught into this for some time.
It wasn't subtle either, he literally doesn't take his eyes off, sometimes I look away as I just can't maintain eye contact for that long without getting bored, but he'd still continue, and it goes for like almost a whole minute. I just don't know how he does it. I finally realised his behaviour was getting too fixated, obsessional and slightly too stalkerish for me, but I guess since he thought I was into him, his concept of two people being in some secret love story is this.
people usually meet the other person, talk to them and then establish if it's gonna be serious or not, with this however, I realised that no-one was ever fixated in me to this extent just because I glanced over at them. I somehow liked that, I felt special. Would u have liked all this attention someone was giving you if you were me? And would u have liked the other person back too? Or would u have found this too obsessional and weird?
(by the way, the only point I realised it went too far was when he began watching me from a distance, and also other times when he hides behind things to secretly stare at me as I do things.)
I don't place much weight on staring (you may have guessed that already lol) If I am interested in a woman I talk to her, in person.
My Indian radar is still good. Lol...
Yeah, I know. My question is if some woman your age did that to you incessantly, how would u react? (I. e If she starts staring at you for a prolonged period of 30 seconds straight each time she sees u just coz u glanced over at her?)
Would u just get creeped out by it even if she was good looking?
I would most definitely understand if u find this guy's behaviour too fixated for ur liking, I admit even I feel this way now that I've dropped it and whatever he's doing now is just one-sided.
How would I react? Probably go ask her if she needs help and then wonder to myself what th is wrong with her.
Yeah cheers, this guy always stands at a distance so I can't yell out and confront him either, I honestly couldn't believe that this all started just coz I glanced over at him for a couple of seconds.
But yeah.. I don't know I guess I was caught into this. I guess it's too weird and obsessional rn
Im gonna leave it and move on. I understand that his culture and everything is different, but even then this behaviour is just stalkerish.