I was walking in the dark with my boyfriend today and we were making jokes about having sex in a quiet public place. I said yeah come on let's go and we were laughing as I guided him through an alleyway into a secluded area because he's not from my area so he told me to find a quiet place. Then we both pretended to go into this side place with an abandoned building. Then we were both just egging eachother on laughing and as we were leaving I said ah you missed your chance. Then he goes "you know I could rape you right now, you couldn't do anything" I just froze then laughed then said "yeah but I know you wouldn't you're not like that." He then said "clearly you don't know me that well then" so I just froze again and then when I didn't respond he laughs so I laugh. Then we continue walking down the alleyway and he says "you know your so easy to rape, it's easy to persuade you". I just laughed again til we hit the main roads then quickly changed topic. More sex jokes happened and he says "come let's go back". I just told him we missed it and we're too far now then left it at that. Then I can't remember how but rape came up again and I was raped by an older guy which he knows about and we just passed that guy's house then while i'm talking about that guy he knew that I've been finding it extremely hard to come to terms with, but he aggressively said "well he basically did rape you". I felt so uncomfortable that I stayed quiet then my voice broke as I replied and I think he realised that was the wrong thing to say. But I'm not sure how to feel like I do believe he would never rape me and he's a virgin and semi would like to wait for marriage but fear still struck me for a split second. I don't know how to feel or what to make of it tbh.