Why is it that men don't talk about their feelings or emotions so much?

Question

I always get general answers and short answers when I ask about feelings or emotions.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

There’s numerous reasons. I think a lot of it starts when you’re old enough to understand. For me my mom would tell me not to cry, so would my aunts, uncles, etc, etc. But when ever my sister cried everyone cuddle her like there was no tomorrow. It could be a culture thing, being Native American raised to take care of the women as “warriors”, providers, etc. Also a male thing just in general. I don’t express my feelings very much cause throughout the years when issues came up if I tried my girl at the time would say shit like you’re not even a man. Which is funny now that I think about it to hear women say real men would do this or that when they have no clue what it’s like to be a man. Over time what little feelings I could express just hardened. Either I’m going to cry about it or man the phuk up to do something about it. No one is going to sit there w me to hold my hand the way a lot of people do for women. Women have more options as far as health, shelters, etc. No this is not a rant either. I’m not mad. The more I learned to do for myself w out people’s help it’s gotten me to where I want to almost be in life. After years of having your feelings repressed as you’re growing up you just learn to push them to the side. That’s probably why a lot of us usually run as women say when it comes to talking about this feelings, cause we haven’t had much practice at it. I do have a son, I want him to be able to talk to me about how he feels w out feeling less of a man the way I did when I grew up. Phuk it sucked cause a lot of times you had to figure things out on your own where my sister could run home whenever she had problems. But I don’t want him to get to emotional that things hurt his feelings all the time, so it’s kind of hard to figure where do I draw that line that he can have a relationship w a girl but not be a little phuk’n baby emotionally. As a lot of us men know, women don’t like men like that. So yes there is a lot to why we don’t express emotions. Plus most us just don’t like talking. I may be the exception lol

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Men HAVE emotions, but we don't let them play a huge role in our normal daily lives (they are still present, and show from time to time, but we don't focus on them). The ability to suppress our emotions and get things done has always been important to the roles that men have had to do throughout history, whether it was hunting dangerous game, going into combat, going down into a mine, building large structures, or working with dangerous tools and materials. These are things that are scary and dangerous, but they needed to be done, so men did them, and had to be able to control our emotions to be able to do so.

We aren't unaware of our feelings (in most cases), but we don't prioritize how we feel about things as much as we do about accomplishing things.

For example, if something is bothering us, we focus on solving the problem, rather than how we feel about the problem. We know that regardless of how we feel, if we fix the issue, we'll feel better about it, so there's no point in dwelling on how we feel NOW, before we've solved the problem. This is why we're so lost when women bring us a problem, and we start suggesting solutions, when she just wanted someone to talk to about them. The concept that talking about a problem - rather than fixing it - will make someone feel better is both foreign and pointless to us, because we know the problem will still be there, and for us, the only way to change how we feel is to solve it. Women's brains just don't work that way, and we struggle to relate.

Aside from anger or joy, romantic relationships are some of the few times we put any priority into emotions, but that's not familiar ground for most of us as it is for women, and so many of us aren't very good at it, and we don't instinctively look to our feelings when something goes wrong, because that's not how we're used to solving things.

PrettyPriya · Accepted Answer

I assume part of it has to do with them not wanting to look weak. I can't say for certain that is true in all cases, but just a guess.

In reality, it is fine to show emotion and guys that do I don't find weak or unmanly at all. Just my view.

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

Fear of ridicule. But here's some hope:

MCheetah · Answer

Because women will give men sh*t the very SECOND they do, calling men names like "incels, misogynists, grouches, negative, pussies," etc. And men don't expect other men to do it because it comes off whining and complaining.

And as someone who went to a psychologist for 14 years every Thursday evening, I'm not even saying men SHOULDN'T be able to do this. I'm just saying other men, and ESPECIALLY other women, don't respect a man who would.

There's this old saying they have about this: Women want OTHER MEN to express their emotions and feelings, just not the man she is currently with! And I believe that to be 100% true. Women will set men up for failure the moment he expresses how he "really feels" and I guarantee you it'll be some crap women don't like to hear (because women never like to be told they're wrong or that anything is their fault).

So it's just easier for us to keep our mouths shut and not make a bad problem even worse. It's not like society gives a single f*ck about men, anyway. "Only women and dogs get unconditional love."

Lionman95 · Answer

My feelings are my treasure if I don´t trust a person than there is no reason to talk about it.
I learned in life that I could handle my feelings better if I don´t talk about because that way I keep myself from embarassing me in some way.
Whereas women like to talk about their feelings and handling and sorting them out by talking, I prefer that do it in silence because I often don´t have the right words to describe how I feel.
I also tend to see myself as a problem solver, I therefore boost my self-confidence with the solutions I find for myself.
I talk with some women about my feelings just not with everyone because I need to know or feel I can trust you first.

BarryLiverstone · Answer

Because generally we tend to be task oriented. We will focus on a problem or project and work to fix or accomplish it. Pushing away any surface emotions that may distract us from that goal is something we do all the time. So when asked about emotions we can say ‘I feel ok’ because we do and we don’t analyze how we feel about many decisions we make.

Why are you able to talk about your emotions?

DaveJord · Answer

Well the thing is that guys just don't feel things on the same level or to the same depth as women... so when they start asking these types of questions we get guarded. That is because we don't want to sound to unemphatic but at the same time we really don't give a shit about all the emotions and feelings on some subjects. So when you try to be honest or express that you honestly never thought about it or care... women tend to not believe you or judge you in some way that they honestly should not. And if you tooooo honestly then yeah, they think what an asshole. So you keep your month shut or at the very least half open.

Honesttguy · Answer

Make it easier for them ask what makes them angry instead. That is also feeling of emotion and u will find its not that hard for guys to express their emotions.
If u want more specific one like sadness then its different cus that is personal stuff not for public display so how u know they have trouble? Cus u dont see it on social media?

I cry alone behind locked doors and then i go workout in gym turn it into power.

I have no problem expressing my emotions, i dont know what u talking about girl.

Anonymous · Answer

It doesn't serve any purpose.

You might not even be aware of this, but women get pleasure from talking. It sets off a little dopamine rush in your brain. It's why women talk and talk and talk even when there's nothing to say. You're like little rats in a chamber addicted to pressing the lever that administers cocaine water.

It's not even the talking about emotions that does it. Any talking does it. But women learn very early on that if you talk about something concrete that has an answer, the conversation can end abruptly once the answer is reached. But feelings? Vague and intangible emotions? What ifs? You guys can yap about that shit for weeks.

Men don't get that. So we don't talk about bullshit like that.

Jay3344 · Answer

I find that men don’t talk as much as women in general. Some men do of course, and some women don’t talk that much but anyways. In general men tend to focus more on talking about doing things, things that are happening, things that bring them joy, getting food, complaining about stuff, I mean all sorts of stuff…but they don’t usually say too much about how everything’s made them feel. It’s more like “that was awesome!” Or “that sucked!” Or “that hurt!” But never like “I’m sad” or “hey I’m so happy because my girlfriend did something nice”. I find that we more just feel the emotions of each other and work it out without talking about it. It works pretty well most of the time. I might be way off but whatever I’m bored.

Anonymous · Answer

Like women with some things, we're "programmed" by society not to. It's not "manly". We're supposed to be "strong", and many consider it weakness. Even women reinforce this sometimes with us by saying things like "suck it up" (they love that one) or "be a man". That and we don't always know what we're feeling or how to express it. So it's easier just not to.

James388 · Answer

A lot of people are talking about social pressure and gender role. We really can't deny that men have been socially conditioned to NOT express their feelings.

But honestly men in general want to solve problems, not seek comfort. And that for me is the main difference. So for most of us it's better to try to think logically and solve a problem, than to vent to a friend or online (unless is anonymous). it's a vicious cycle, few men feel comfortable expressing themselves and at the same time comes a feeling that we can solve this alone...
Crying or talking won't solve the problem and honestly for me they don't even relieve tension. I prefer to look for the solution and try to solve it in the best

laurieluvsit · Answer

Because they are taught subliminally to be afraid of and avoid them to show toughness and strength.

Juxtapose · Answer

I personally make a concentrated effort to think logically. Emotions have their place but really just excessive complaining isn't going to help me, it will just make me feel pathetic and people will think less of me.

I express emotions when I think they are appropriate to be expressed.

ElliotsRipley · Answer

I think men are often insecure about it.
They don't want to show weakness.

its also an influence on sexuality
We see tons of women experiment, or be part of the LGBTQ+ community
not as much for men do to those pressures from society

Dchrls78104 · Answer

1. German footballer Andreas Biermann talked to everyone about his struggles with depression, and his football career suffered as a result.
2. Johnny Depp was abused and nearly had his life destroyed by Amber Heard.
3. Who would have listened to Travis Alexander if he talked about his unhappy relationship with Jodi Arias?

The same thing happens to men all over the world. The sexism is very real.

jahaims · Answer

Some men*. Because it tends to bite them in the ass. It is seen as a good thing or a bad thing depending on what is convenient for others at the time. It's pretty much based on societal and cultural norms.

Djaay · Answer

Of course we all do when its perfectly appropriate. Although men leaders and are problem solvers and nothing gets solved , built , created , worked on , delivered , protected or provided for when struggling with having issues of emotional or inept feelings getting in the way.

BungusHighFivePizza · Answer

i dont get so confused like girls. girls be confused like i dont know why im upset. i want 2 eat sumthing but i dont know what 2 eat. i know these things so i dont get any useful info from talkin bout it

Anonymous · Answer

From the time they are old enough to recognize it, and that's pretty young, boys grow up being bombarded with the message that they are weak if they show their emotions. All of society teaches them that... men, women, boys, girls. Everyone does. People who deny that are either dishonest or blind.

Lynx122 · Answer

I can talk about my emotions because I've thought about them a lot for years but I'm sure there's guys who never deal with them. You can ask me something here if you haven't gotten an answer you were looking for yet ^^

Citizenkirk · Answer

Men who grew up during the 20s through the 70s and '80s were raised in a generation in which men with feelings were considered to be sissies Nancy boys pansies etc.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

It's discouraged by western culture. Most of us, maybe even all of us, have personal experiences with opening up to people and having it thrown back in our faces. So the better solution is to simply not say anything.

MountAverage · Answer

Because most men are being socialized from childhood on to bottle up their emotions. Unless it's anger. Because the ugliest emotions of all, anger, somehow is "manly".

Snakeyes7 · Answer

Maybe it is me, but if I am experiencing something I feel deeply sad about, just talking about it does jack shit. I don't really get over something like that unless I distract myself with a project I have always wanted to do or something.

sirderpsalot123 · Answer

Talking about my feelings does nothing for me. I'd rather go fishing, clear my head, and think about ways to fix whatever the problem is.

Truthatanycost · Answer

Feelings and emotions can be channeled. They don't always need to be discussed.

noohair · Answer

Some of it is how we are taught as children. In my generation, nothing was said. That might be changing in some areas slowly but it is the way most cultures operate worldwide.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Were afraid I guess on my part I feel a girl will reject me

FunkyMonkee · Answer

They're afraid of being laughed at and called, "pussies"!

JSmuve · Answer

He doesn't trust you enough. You have to earn his vulnerability.

awkward_author · Answer

It's the way we were socialized as children and continue to be conditioned in this way by society.

AndrésC64 · Answer

I think it might be getting better, but many of us we're taught that talking about feelings was a weakness. Showing feelings is a weakness.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Because we talk about solutions instead. It get things done faster and solves problems better for us.

LegendaryIcon · Answer

When guys are trying to be sincere and genuine, women don't think we are And when we are not trying to be sincere and genuine, women think we are

EaterPeter · Answer

We don't know how to process our feelings. You tell us something encouraging have a little arguments and cave we go to.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Because it doesn't accomplish anything. I generally only do stuff it it accomplishes some kind of goal for myself.

Idiotikhumanz · Answer

What are emotions? sounds like something stupid people have, we are fixers. If we have a problem.. we fix it... not cry... That's pointless

Anonymous · Answer

What would it benefit me? How does it help anything to talk about feelings?

Anonymous · Answer

Because they are men, they even show they have emotions or worse still feelings  They have to revoke their man card as the law of society dictates

Anonymous · Answer

We think it will make a woman lose all attraction to us from 100 down to 0 and maybe even lower to -100.

TwoToTooTutu2 · Answer

I just don't want to. If I'm going talk about something sensitive it will be on my terms.

Shamalien · Answer

because it has consequences for us. Negative consequences

InferiorElegy · Answer

Because women and society call us pussies and make fun of us for doing so.

jasco · Answer

Because either I don't feel comfortable with you or I don't want to

Anonymous · Answer

Simples. Nothing to gain from it and a lot to lose from it.

JesseJayNeak · Answer

Because for women and society, men showing emotion is a sign of weakness

Jamie05rhs · Answer

That's because they don't trust you.

es20490446e · Answer

Cause we are more logical.

VikingWarLord · Answer

That's how a mawphucka gets FRIEND ZONED

In_Trance · Answer

The stigma that's around it

fred_durst · Answer

because only sissy men do that

MrSmithee · Answer

because everyone hates them if they do.

scooogy · Answer

well 🤷‍♂️

Why is it that men don't talk about their feelings or emotions so much?

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