Do you feel like you’re going to be single forever?

[Anonymous]

I tried online dating sites and had a bad experience. No girl wanted to get to know me.

im going to just focus on my career for the rest of my life as I’m not going to find anyone ever.

It’s a woman’s world.

Yes I feel like this

No I don’t

[nitsuj86]

It's a woman's world... if you are a weak man. You can't get girls, ok... What are you doing to fix that?

A few things...

You say you are working on your career, if your career doesn't have the potential to make you 90k+ then you need to find a new career to focus on. I recommend something in the tech field. There are a lot of jobs you can get with little to no training. And end up making 100k+. Trust me, money makes the most difference, will make you confident, and women will respect you. They say it doesn't matter, but it absolutely does.

How tall are you? Are you in decent shape? Nothing you can do about the height, but maybe wear some nicer shoes with a bit of a heel on dates if you are shorter. And get in the gym. You don't need to be shredded, just not fat and in decent shape.

What are your hobbies? Have you traveled at all? You can have money and good looks, but if you have nothing to talk about. You are gonna have trouble getting and keeping dates interested. Don't have any good stories? Make some. Go travel to a new city, or country, sign up for a class, just do something interesting. Women like that shit, and it's a good way to meet them. I personally like to bake, and women eat that shit up. I bring them cookies on a date, and I'm pretty much gauranteed another date / possibly sex. lol

You work on these 3 things, and I promise you, you will have success with women. I was a virgin in highschool, and stuggled with women most of my 20's. It wasn't until I got fed up with making excuses for myself and started making more money / got more confidence, that I had success with women. But once you have the success, now you have to worry about not wasting it on the wrong woman.

That is another post entirely though. Haha.

[MCheetah]

This sounds like one of those, "If you're broke, then just stop being poor, stupid!" posts.

Also, weak men are exactly the kinds of people to change themselves and personality just to get pussy, instead of being true to who they are. Like, you're so "strong", you need female validation to prove how strong you are. So there's that.

None of your tips even get into personality or compatibility. There are plenty of men over six feet tall with gym bodies who can't get a girl. And it's not cause they're short, fat incels, but because all the women they meet are crazy, lesbians, feminists, thots, or some mix of those things. Is that still being "successful" with women if all the women aren't quality decent human beings but they see you as an easy simp or f*ckboy?

Ultimately, the only thing that matters with women is tallness, social status, and a f*ckton of confidence, kind of like you said, but most women nowadays aren't worth wasting your time on, if you're that successful to begin with.

[nitsuj86]

@MCheetah

Well, to some extent, it is true. Sure, it's not always so easy to "stop being poor" but it also is not as hard as a lot of people think. They just "don't want to do that job" or think they wouldn't be able to, etc... They don't even try, don't even look into it to see if it's possible. I have been there, I was lazy, I was complacent. Until people started passing me by, and I wasn't getting the results I wanted. Adapt or die.

I adapted, I started a new career field "that I wasn't interested in" before, that was less "fun", and now I make 90k more in less than 4 years. I work with plenty of people that went to a 6 month bootcamp, and make the same or more as me. So it's more than possible. Same applies with dating.

I also never said anything about changing who you are. I just said improve yourself a bit. And you seem to have an issue with that. If you were a woman, and you had to choose between a man that was trying to be better for you, and one that didn't give a fuck and did his own thing regardless of what you want. Who would you choose? Would you want a woman that thought like you?

And as far as personality. The last tip went into that. What is a personality but experiences and interests? Find hobbies, explore them, travel, live, gain those experiences. Your "personality" will become a lot more appealing to women. Without having to change yourself. You will just have more to talk about, and learn even more about yourself.

My point is it's really easy to let life pass you by and blame your lack of success on ALL of women, or the world or whatever. It doesn't matter, all you can control is YOU and how YOU interact with the world.

You say my advice isn't helpful, but at least I gave some things to work on.
You just basically said " women are shit, give up". Do you have better advice then what I am giving? I would love to hear it.

[MCheetah]

"I also never said anything about changing who you are. I just said improve yourself a bit."

This whole post is *literally* "change who you are." To "improve" your chances with women and impress them more, not because you genuinely want to. You heavily imply to do sh*t you don't want to, just to impress women.

Furthermore, I didn't bring this up, but I knew PLENTY of men who did that, plus leveled up in confidence, and they go no results. Because they were still short, or non-white/Hispanic, or what have you. The only difference is, they stopped caring about women rejecting them and just learned to live life. They effectively became MGTOW.

You're applying logic to the mindset of a woman, expecting it to make sense... Women DO choose the men who don't give a f*ck and do their own thing... Because that's perceived as confident. The men just living life, who'll be happy with or without a woman by his side. The man "trying to be better" for her, comes off like a desperate bitch in the eyes of women. It's clingy and desperate, to them. Again, women don't think as rationally as we do. You should've just said "the man trying to be better for himself, regardless of what women or anyone else thinks of him."

"Find hobbies, explore them, travel, live, gain those experiences. Your "personality" will become a lot more appealing to women."

Except you say this with the most cliché "Alpha Male" millionaire implications. What if a man's hobbies are video games, anime, 4chan, and sh*tposting on the internet? And he cultivates those to his fullest ability. Is THAT man's personality going to be "sexier" to women? Do you see the flawed logic in what you're saying? I have to disagree that "you become a lot more appealing to women without having to change yourself." Unless you mean, compared to a boring sad sack who has NOTHING to say to a woman at all.

[MCheetah]

"It doesn't matter, all you can control is YOU and how YOU interact with the world."

I 100% agree and have been living my own life the past seven years this way. So have many single men. That doesn't mean women are magically going to fall into your lap, though.

"Do you have better advice then what I am giving?"

I never said your advice isn't helpful. I implied that you're asking a man to self-improve for all the wrong reasons. My advice is simple: Seek out your own happiness. Don't expect ANYONE in life to make you happy but YOU. IF you can grow to be a happy and confident person and IF a woman out there values you for that, then so be it. But in the much higher likelihood she doesn't and you live the rest of your life single, then at least you lived on your own term, did things your way, didn't rely on anyone else for your happiness, and had (few to) no regrets."

[nitsuj86]

@MCheetah

Well, 2 different approaches I suppose. You do you.

But to me... it sounds like your approach isn't working that well. Overall, you sound very angry. Angry at women, angry at the world, angry that you aren't getting what you want. I like I said, I have been there, and it isn't fun. I drove away plenty of good women, thinking this way. I can see that now.

So why not just let that go? Even if you do believe these things, it shouldn't make you THAT mad. If you don't really care if the woman is there or not, then you should care less what or how they are. It wouldn't bother you so much. It seems you are angry, because you are not getting what you want from the women you want. So maybe you want the wrong women.

Sure, my advice is not a one size fits all. I'm not a short man, so I can't speak to that. I see how hard it is for men that are short. I was just saying some general findings I have had during my dating experience. These are the things I noticed helped me with women. Hopefully they can help you.

I would say it's better to try, then to just say that's dumb, I'm gonna keep doing this thing that's not working, and complain about it the whole time.

That anger will keep you down man, trust me, let it go and live better.

[nitsuj86]

And what's the worst that could happen by following the advice I gave? All of those things are things you should already be trying to do for yourself.

- Make more money to secure your family
- Get it shape to be more attractive, and live life to the fullest
- Travel and experience life

If I told you to do these things for yourself, you would agree. But if I say to do it for women, then you have a problem with it. Why can't it be both?

[nitsuj86]

I would also say if you are some guy who love anime, mange, video games, and other nerdy shit. Like I do myself. Then you really can't get mad if some hot girl you want isn't interested in that stuff. Which is why I said to get out and experience more things, to find more in common with those women.

I watch anime, I read manga, play video games almost daily, and I have played D&D on occasion. Hasn't really kept me from getting dates. Now if I went on those dates, and ONLY talked about those things that most women don't give a shit about. Then yeah, it would probably hurt me. And I have had GFs make comments about me watching anime in the past. But those women obviously didn't like that part of me, and I'm not with them anymore.

I have more interests than just my nerdy side. I also like to bake, hike with my dog, travel to new places, try new food, etc. Things that women are more interested in. So we would have those things to connect on. If they liked nerdy stuff great, but it wasn't required.

But... if that is so important to you, then don't chase women that don't like that stuff as well. If those are your hobbies, embrace them, including finding a woman that also likes those things, regardless of how "fucking hot" she is. Figure out what's most important and go after it.

I found a girl that I think is attractive, she likes my nerdiness, and doesn't fight with me about a bunch of dumb shit. Sure, she might not be the "hottest" women I have ever dated. But I love her, and she accepts me and let's me be me. That is enough. And it should be enough, it just takes some time to get there.

[HawkPerception]

This is exactly how I feel man. I've come to terms with and feel completely content not having a partner at this point in my life. They're a drain on your energy and money. I'm good being that cool uncle haha. I've decided all I need is a dog and to live for my family.

I've been on dating sites since I was 18 years old in between my relationships. The only 2 relationships I've been in have been with girls I've met in real life and not from dating sites. Dating sites have consistently gotten worse and worse over the years and now they are at their all time worst. The apps are money greedy and filled with bots and scammers. Girls put in 0 effort to continue conversations as they've been desensitized to every kind of message a guy can send and they get bored way too easily. Most women are entitled nowadays as well. It really is a girls world in western society.

It's funny, because it's not just most men that are discontent. Women complain about the men nowadays as well, but this is the world they built themselves, so they can cry a river.

Now I'm not saying if I meet my ideal girl, that I'll just pass her by, but I'm genuinely done looking.

[MCheetah]

Truth.

[lovedejj_xo]

So I solo travel I believe that whoever I’m meant to be with is not within my current state because I get more guys asking me on dates when I’m out of town I just haven’t felt comfortable with that since I’m by myself.

[nitsuj86]

Hate to burst your bubble, but you probably get more interest when you are traveling because the guys know you are only here for a short time = just sex, no commitment.

Not saying there is anything wrong with that. But if you are using this as a basis for why you can't find someone where you are. You probably have a better chance of finding a LTR close to where you live.

I would say pick one of these places that you have been, that you like, and get a lot of interest, and move there.

[gabby100]

Been married, unless something earth shattering happens, i will be single..

[Anonymous]

Certainly seems that way.

I'm in my 40's and have dated less than 6 months total.

With my luck, I'm going to have a struggle (with a lot) for a majority of my life. But that's in order for me to be "happy" with my career (or not keep dreading getting up in the morning every day). The women aren't really interested if you're not earning at least 50k. Most would seem to demand 80K by now. I'm not hitting 25k. And at 5'7 (which they usually consider too short), and my interests, I would have to make six figures to even get a woman to pause and look at me.

Knowing my life so far, most would just decide to use me, and drop me... or would decide to screw me over royally. Like marry me... repeatedly cheat on me, (as I'd be out of town quite a bit) then dump me the second we hit a recession (or the second its inconvenient for them). I'd want to be protective of my assets, and I don't think a woman would accept a prenup or accept me squirreling away money for myself.

As much as I'm aware of this, my dumb ass still thinks there is some hope. I do know a few women who it would seem really do love their boyfriends/husbands, so...

[SolitarySolace]

I've decided I was going to be single forever almost 8 years ago. After all of my exes cheated on me... Then maybe 4 or 5 years ago after that I thought maybe I should try one more time. Then I was falsely accused for things I didn't do including stalking, and being a potential school shooter when I don't even own any guns. Had to deal with an ex parte ppo. So after that I gave up entirely. I'd rather be single than deal with this kind of bullshit again. Women don't love men, they love what men have to offer them. And when it's either easy for them to get it by framing them or by finding it in someone else without leaving just in case the guy they're currently with ends up having more to offer than the guy she's cheating on him with. Why should a man allow himself to go through these kinds of things? Women aren't worth it. And I'm pretty sure they don't think men are worth it either. They either never did or are just saying that to be on the same page as the men who don't believe women to be worth it.

[Anonymous]

With that attitude, you're already setting yourself up for failure. Just make the most of what you've got, be happy with your life and don't look for the end result, just get to know people.

Confidence in yourself is important.

Don't give up on dating sites. They are not real life. You're putting too much pressure on yourself. Just go with the flow and don't come across too keen. Keep talking to girls and you'll eventually click with someone. Don't overthink it.

You are still finding out who you are. That is what your 20s are for.

There's only one you, so value your uniqueness and one day you will find someone who loves you for you.

You're only young. Just take it slow. Dress nicely, make the most of yourself, build friendships, go out and make the most of every situation.

Take charge of your life by knowing what you want and going for it, take chances and look for new opportunities.

Change your mindset and you can change your whole world.

[Opinion Owner]

I just realised this is an old question! :D But hopefully things have changed now

[TheUniqueOne96]

Yeah.

Being 5'2, I don't fancy my chances when it comes to dating.

Even if a woman was attracted to me, she'd probably think I were gay, because a lot of people assume I am, lol and I don't approach either and would more than likely be too shy to do so, because I do get attention from people in general, due to the way I present myself.

Also, I live in an area with most other people of my background (Pakistani) and I'm one of the few that isn't a Muslim, so differing faiths is a deal breaker to me and I also don't want to marry of have kids, if I do find a relationship, as I'd only take a long term approach to them.

[Moose304]

At 64 I have been single all my life. Back in the early 80s I got burned by a female and learned my lesson. I do not have exclusive relationships but 5 to 6 nights a week I am NOT sleeping alone! I don't need some damn piece of paper to find happiness. I get accused of being MGTOW and spewing red pill BS all the time. The thing is this is not who I am. I love the ladies and being around them. I look at it this way. Why be stuck with a red rose when you can have the entire rose garden? I don't advise marriage, but if you get that bug up your butt to do so, at least wait until you are at least 28!

[noamazia]

i have no doubt that ill be able find someone at some point, men's 'worth' is increased with age while women's decreases in our society (not that it's okay) so it'll become easier. the problem is whether i get discouraged before reaching it. my environment doesn't easily enable me to meet women so i need to invest evergy in finding women i like and date them, and its tiring...

[ChrisMaster69]

Nope not at all, you just go through periods of being single.

you can spend a year or so single, then date suddenly and find yourself in a relationship.

It’s not a woman’s world, it’s a world for men, we shape our own futures and do how we want most of the time.

[zyxacb]

I want a relationship with a woman who prefers to use her portable computer ("smartphone") as little as possible, beyond necessity... it's been years & I'm still searing, not even through dating, but observation, to find that woman... so far 0 luck.

[serious]

Feeling?

I never waste my time on feelings. I have always been single by choice and hence I know for sure I will be single for life but I don't care and I am happy with that.

Hence nothing to feel here.

[Anonymous]

No. Because frankly I could give less than a damn whether I'm single or not. The simple truth is most women today are not "relationship material". Well I'm not opposed to a relationship. I'd rather be single and happy than be with a woman who is just a drag on me.

[MCheetah]

Yep! I can't grow any taller to get out of the female zone of human size. And women nowadays are either extremely shallow, feminists, or gay. So finding a good woman would be hard even if I wasn't too short!

[Static_In_The_Attic]

As for me I’m single & accepting applications & when it comes to finding the love of my life sometimes I feel like I have a better chance of getting hit by lightning on a submarine but than again lightning can strike & faith can step in.

[monorprise]

As a guy your market value will only go up as you acquire a better career. Get some experience, and get in shape. Girls like money, strength, and confidence.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Stop being dramatic, you have to have lots of bad experiences to find a good one, most people in general aren't going to want to get to know you, people only want to do that if they have stuff in common with you.

[YoHoeRose]

I think you're pretty young to feel that way! Anything can happen. Love is strange

[CuriousMufuxka]

Yes by choice. I told my last that this is my last relationship. I spent way too much of my 30's with women that I didn't love to create some kind of status quo spousal happiness. That will not be happening in my 40's!

[Valso]

I gave up on that front long ago and I don't care anymore. I have some easy girls to fuck, that's all that matters.

[zagor]

Yeah, but I'm OK with that. I've had a few flings over the years but lately haven't been getting out much.

[BigNerd45]

No way. I have confidence that someday I will meet someone special.

[jamesgoldman]

Yeah and I'm not complaining because I simply don't have the time free to deal with relationships