Today I had the most random conversation with my friends. One of them brought up the subject about how our friend married her husband and her comment was “Jessica, she’s too average (not too say ugly) for Josh, he is super handsome and I still don’t understand how they got married! Hahaha”…obviously the room was suddenly quiet and it made me think, this woman is really hating another woman for her husband… and now I wonder, do guys ever experience this sensation like you hate other men for being with a woman that is “more beautiful” than he is?
Guys: do you envy “ugly” guys that end up with beautiful women?
Not really. Back in high school, I knew a girl (we'll call her Macy). Macy was very pretty, and quite popular. Unlike the stereotypical popular, pretty girl, she was also kind and compassionate. Unlike most women, pretty or otherwise, she was also brave- not just to social but physical dangers. And she actually liked be. Sounds ideal, right? Well, Macy had a problem, and that was that she was dumb as a post. This was a problem, because then as now, I was a high-caliber nerd.
Being a nerd isn't actually about being *smart*, like Hollywood thinkn; it's about being passionate, and enjoying learning stuff. Bring a normal person to the natural history museum, and they'll find some interesting stuff to learn about. Bring a nerd to the mustard museum (yes, it exists; it's in Mount Horeb, Wisconsin), and you'll have a hard time persuading them to leave. We can (and at the drop of a hat, will) talk about our interests for hours, and usually hold people in rapt fascination while we do so. But it wouldn't've worked on Macy; she didn't seem interested in much at all.
So it wouldn't've worked out between us; pretty as she was, we were just too different. It's very easy to overestimate the importance of looks, especially when dealing with a guy, but staying together needs a lot more.
I think that most guys have felt that way at least once in their lives - usually when they are younger and more immature (junior high/high school) - but most men are well past that by their 20s. Exceptions certainly exist, though - a few guys never seem to mature emotionally.
Y'all don't let that envy you. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." That's a quote that my grandfather (before he passed away) used to say. She may think he looks good the way he is. It shouldn't matter what other people think of him for how he looks. She must see something in him no one else does. One person might say "oh that girl/guy is so ugly." Yes that hurts when people say something like that, but then another person would say "Wow! He/She looks so beautiful or handsome." The right one will love you for who you are. That's what I'm looking for. It's mostly about personality, not just looks. Also it's not about what's on the outside, it's about what's on the inside that matters. That's what my dad says.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
1 y
It's pretty rare to see this kind of couples except if the guys is loaded. Most average / cute guys end up dating fat ugly / average women.
I've NEVER once in my life seen an ugly guy who ends up with a beautiful woman without him being super-rich. Same with short guys dating taller women. This seems like one of those things people say to prove to themselves they aren't shallow, but doesn't actually exist in real life.
However, *if* I saw a guy who was a 2 or 3 dating an 8 or 9 woman and he wasn't a multi millionaire, I'd want to learn from him and what secrets he had to make it work. But again, this isn't something I believe is actually real.
Actually we don't hate men with beautiful girlfriend or wife. But the opposite. We say that he is a lucky guy and finish it off there.
Hating someone over their girlfriend or wife's physical beauty is something we do not do. At least my friends and I do not do that. Because we know what we want. Of course the physical beauty is also seen, but not too much significance is given to it to be honest.
That woman must be hating the other woman with the handsome husband for some other reason. The justification she put on the table did not have that much weight.
And for our case, we have been rejected too many times, have seen too many rude/arrogant beautiful girls, and have had too many weird experiences that accumulate to this: we do not really want a beautiful girl, but a caring and understanding and overall average looking presentable girl. Nothing more or less.
I wouldn't say men hate other men for that, maybe envy but its the type of envy that makes them say "how" kind of like inspiring to learn what he did to find this person because nowadays when it comes to dating people will judge you based off your looks alone. I have seen average women talk to average men that were amazing to them in many ways, but the girls always said they didn't find them that attractive. So when you really get out there you will realize that sometimes not even a good personality can save you if you have dont have the looks, BUT I have seen a lot of good-looking people with awful personalities get into relationships. But as someone mentioned below, the chances that a situation happening is really rare and props to those that it happens to, but to say that can happen to anybody is an overstatement.
No. One person getting something does not steal something away from me. All in all too, I believe girls over think how much men value looks. Men don't value looks when it comes to love in the same capacity as they do with casual sex or getting off. And if they do, they lack experience. That woman in the photo is pretty average by the way.
I don't think your friend is jealous I think that is just how see really sees the world. She over values looks and most girls do because it has be burnt into you guys and society is to blame.
I don't mean biological sexual processes but girls tend to over value the importance of their own beauty or the beauty of women in modern society. It is much more apart of the females identity than it is apart of the males. It reveals that one has a shallow view of the world. Not views the world as shallow but has a shallow view of the world. Make no mistake the world runs on value but value is many things.
Well, yes we have felt that, we do feel somewhat jealous when a supposedly ugly guy gets a beautiful girlfriend or wife. But to be honest, with men it usually turns into hope from jealousy. We have living proof that an "Ugly" man can have such a wife or girlfriend and that gives hope to many people who come under the category of average, or not hot enough or ugly. We have a chance in this world to not just find love but love for an extremely beautiful woman.
Not really "envy" per say? But more the thought of "what the fucks she doing with that cunt" then I'll ease the pain within myself by convincing myself that he has learning difficulties and she's his carer yes that right Vlad76 she's his carer ahh! All better! 😭😭😭😭 Lol
I feel like the most common reaction is "good for that guy" with just a little bit of harmless jealousy. Guys don't really hate on other guys unless the other dude in question is not acting like a man ex. They drop their responsibilities onto women, they are way out of shape and the only thing they have going for then is money, they don't have any values. Etc.
I've been rich and poor, and when you have the money and toys, the hotter females will start chasing YOU. You won't even have to chase, and when you're poor, you're chasing average or ugly Heauxs. Amazing how Money turns everything upside down for men.
No I don't. I don't care simply. It is not my concern who someone ends up with. Nor do I envoy ugly women who end up with charming men.
I am happy for someone who finds someone else. It is not another persons job to be jealous and try and control someone else who they have no right to do so
Just try to envy happiest marriages. The one whose heart belongs to their deserved one , the beautiful one is that person. If someone has soulmate he/she could be the most beautiful one in the eyes that for the other soulmate , that is the point.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
1 y
Nah, I'm genuinely happy for any guy that can score one for our team. On a related note I have a couple of friends who are married. He's attractive and she's very homely. It always surprises me that they're together. Especially since she has mentally health issues on top of it.
Unfortunately, I try not to envy anyone. However, I believe that everyone has unique qualities that a partner may need at particular moments in their lives. For some individuals, physical appearance matters, while it is the opposite for others.
The act of selecting a partner is solely an individual thing.
If a guy is ugly sometimes he can make up for it in other ways. Look at some professional athletes. Some of these guys are downright ugly yet they have hot girl friends or wives. They make up for it by being talented and sometimes rich.
Not at all, instead I think what must have that man done to overcome his poor genetics including short height. He must have compensated elsewhere extraordinarly.
Envy? Maybe a bit, but not much. Usually I think "Fuck yeah buddy"
Its more beneficial to learn what the guy does to bring in a woman like that. Sitting around wondering "Why him but not me?" is acting like a fucking loser.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
1 y
When you have a monster in between your legs your face doesn't matter as much, or perhaps the lifestyle he brings is supreme. I would assume she really fell for his personality as well. Guys literally have a lot of things to work with when it comes to women. It's not all about looks or as much as when a guy is looking for a woman.
It's not the exception. It's the rule. Guys are just plain ugly in general. Women want men for their intrinsic values. Real men. Men that get it done. If women want a poontang of a man, they can do that too. That never works out well.
No. Women are supposed to be the beautiful one in the relationship. One of the advantages men have is that a man's value is in his resources, and assets.
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