My boyfriend told me that texting and talking too much takes a lot of his energy because he is very busy at work. is that legit or a red flag?

[Anonymous]

So we are together for 6 months I WFH and I really have no experience with working with people. He works in sales and recently he said that his work is getting busier and he won’t have much time to text and talk, also he said it takes a lot of his energy because he is so tired from some problems he has and always talking to people.
Is this a red flag or I should show him understanding and give him space?

[MrOracle]

It's absolutely legit.

A few years ago, I had a much younger girlfriend who had an office job were she wasn't very busy, and didn't understand why I couldn't text with her all day long. So I took her to work with me for a day, and told her she was to follow me around and stay within 5 feet of me at all times.

She had to go up and down the stairs of the houses while I was hauling ladders, tools, supplies, and parts into the rooms where I was working. She had to stand next to me as customers asked me questions and wanted everything explained. Every time I had to crawl on the floor, or climb up a ladder, I got her to do the same. By lunch time, she was exhausted, and we still had half a day to go, and during lunch, I was returning phone calls and text messages from other customers - I barely had time to eat.

I asked her "when have I had time to sit and chat on the phone?" She couldn't even answer - and she never complained about me ignoring her again. I told her "I go to work and I WORK, and I do this work so that when my work is done, I have the time and money to spend with you. But when I'm at work, I'm WORKING. I'm not sitting at a desk on someone else's time surfing the web and trying to fill time. All of her jobs up to that point were a lot of sitting at a desk trying to fill time, so she simply didn't have the concept of what work could be like for other people, but when she saw what I do, and how I rarely have a free moment when I'm at work, because I'm either driving, talking to customers, or doing the physical work, she understood that I'm not out playing around or filling time - I'm WORKING.

[Lliam]

I'd respect his wishes and give him space.
He's right, when he's at work, he's working. Guys need to focus. They also need a bit of time to themselves. What you're doing is sweet, but seems a bit clingy.

He knows you're into him and I hope he is totally into you, but trying show your love by being in contact with him all the time might serve the opposite of its intended purpose.

If you live together, I'd suggest that you see how happy he is to come home every night to be with you. If he's eager to be with you after a hard day, he loves you. But if he seems to become more and more distant, then you know he is losing interest.

[1GoldTwins]

Sounds legit to me. Constant texting and calling slows down his performance and adds more pressure on his shoulders, because work stops for nobody.

[supercutebutt]

Tell him that you find participating in the act of coitus with him to be too energy demanding and time consuming and see if he changes his tune :)

[spartan55]

Yeah, great comparison there. 🙄

[supercutebutt]

@spartan55 Don't you roll your eyes at me.

[Vegasrunner]

@supercutebutt She's going to loose him then. Sounds like her boyfriend gets it. Men shouldn't be spending their time texting and yaping w/ their chicks. The phone is for setting dates.

[ohshee]

It's a red flag on the girl for not understanding that he has a job to do and that he can't be on the phone all the time it takes a lot of energy because now he has to think about texting you back also doing his job at about 20 other things that go along with that

[RuthlessAggression]

I mean, if he's at work, you really do need to respect that. If he's telling you that he's too busy at work, you need to stop. If you can't do that, you likely are with him for the WRONG REASON, and need to find someone who's a little more "free", according to you

[TommyMountainFigure]

I would be same as him.. When I'm working, I'm working and have no time to text or talk...

Maybe you should go visit his place of work (without disturbing him) and see for yourself how busy the place is.

[spartan55]

Red 🚩 flag for who... you? YES. You think he is supposed to talk and text with you all day while he is at work. You are needy af.

[VikingWarLord]

With you being born before cell-phones, I figured you'd learn that this technology sheet ain't all that great. Texting non-stop is one of those reasons.

[Jamie05rhs]

He's right. You need to give him space to breathe and do his job.

[Wise4myage]

Not legit, he is just being honest.

[Wise4myage]

Sorry, I meant to day it is legit.

[In_Trance]

legit