If boyfriend says he's too busy to text you?

[Anonymous]

Do you believe him?

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and this happens a lot. He'll say he's going to be really busy all day, so he won't be able to text me at all. But then on Facebook, it'll say he's active or has been active recently. So basically he's got time to Facebook random people, but can't text me, his girlfriend, back? What?

[knowmeyourself]

Okay. Guys think differently than us girls. Here's how.

Guys don't feel the need to text all day to express his love to you. They have other things to do like talking to friends on Facebook, having lunch at work with colleagues, etc...Actually, they feel trapped if their girlfriend expects them to call/text all day. They start thinking "She's needy. I feel suffocated. I love her, but that's too much". So, yes, you may find him active on Facebook doing silly stuff because he doesn't think that his life revolves around you. Guys value their cave time and they get angry if you try to force him to come out of that cave.

Best thing to do is to let him have some quality time with himself, friends or family. He'll love you for it and will even miss you more. What's great is that YOU have to do the same thing. Don't let him be your world. Don't wait for the next message to appear on your phone. Don't feel hurt when you see him chatting on Facebook while you were waiting to hear his voice. Expectations hurt, you know? Go on with your life. Enjoy time with yourself, friends and whatnot. He's a part of your life, not your whole world.

AND, I know it hurts. Believe me. That's why I don't want you to wait around for the next call/text. It's nice of him to tell you that he won't be able to call for that he's busy. Telling you in advance is good. And no, he can't be busy every single minute. It's just a way to let you know that he needs some *cave time*.

Hope this helps. :)

[BoundByCuriosity]

^^ what she said.

[Asker]

Ok, thanks for your advice! I'll give him some more "cave time" and stop worrying so much!!

[knowmeyourself]

Exactly this. :)

[MrAtticusLebowski]

be honest with us, are you a "heavy" texter?

[Asker]

No! I text him maybe a few times a day. It's not like I'm texting him constantly...

[MrAtticusLebowski]

see these things are always tricky when someone else (me) gauges how good/bad something is in a relationship. With obvious exception of physical, emotional and verbal abuse. Personally, I like it. I probably text more than most guys. If i really want to text someone, ill take my phone to the restroom and text while i'm on the toilet (gross huh lol). He just doesn't know how to express to you he needs some space during work. No one's really in the wrong here, you two are just not compatible in this aspect.