When your crush finds excuses to talk to you?

[Anonymous]

So he’s found out I like him through a relative. He’s been trying to talk to me but because we don’t know each other well he’s made excuses to speak for e. g. asking where things are even though I know he already knows, could he possibly like me back?

[SteveSmith1985]

Yes. Definitely. if he found out from a third-party that you like him... and you notice that he seems to be finding excuses to talk to you (or be near you, spend time around you etc). then that guy for sure likes you back.

If he DIDN'T like you back... and someone let him know you had feelings for him... what you'd expect to see is someone who was (at least) a little awkward around you, and someone who might find excuses NOT to have to talk to you. At any rate, they would make DAMN SURE to not give you the impression that your feelings for them were reciprocated.

This was an easy one. Super black-and-white. Yes. He likes you back. 🙂

[Asker]

Thankyou so much its been so unbelievably helpful! I think your right

Tbh it came naturally for me to carry on making an effort to speak to him after he did that (I got the feeling he may be interested back)

I also wanted to ask you do you think he KNOWS that I KNOW that he likes me back? like do you think he knows I've picked up on the hints (sorry with the wording but I think this is most important for me to know now moving forward )

[SteveSmith1985]

hahaha, well I'm glad this was helpful! It was super-clear and an easy one to answer. Now your second question is much harder to answer (with the information I have). Unfortunately, there really isn't any way for me to know whether he knows, that you know that he likes you (yea, don't worry, I followed that no problem).

That mostly depends on just HOW obviously this guy changed his behavior.

If he is making it SO CLEAR that he likes you that he thinks you MUST realize what he's doing... then yes.

Otherwise, and generally, "no".

[SteveSmith1985]

Part of this, is due simply to "how people tend to think".

So from his perspective, he's more thinking "I like this girl, I know she likes me, so... I can totally flirt with her, spend extra time around her, make a point to go and find excuses to talk to her"... KNOWING that she (you) are liking all of that (since he know you like him).

Whether you have picked up on the fact that he likes you back... isn't quite as critical a question. (after all, it doesn't matter all that much to him whether you realize it yet or not... either way HE knows you both like each other, and HE knows that any flirting from him will be welcomed by you).

Whether he likes you back is no mystery to him. He is not really thinking about the fact that it's a mystery to YOU. (this isn't gender specific... it's just people). He isn't thinking about it in terms of "leaving you in suspense" in any way. Especially if he feels like you'll figure it out... at least in time... as he continues to act in a way that makes clear he likes you.

[SteveSmith1985]

I guess maybe another way to put this is: Whether you know now, or figure it out next week... he doesn't see that as mattering when it comes to things progressing between you (because it doesn't really matter).

So, I think I'm going to say "no" is the likely answer to your question.

But... I am a bit confused as to why that's important to YOU moving forward. This... is a situation where "moving forward" is... easy. There's really only one "path" you can move forward on!!!

You are two people who like each other, but nobody has explicitly said-so yet. I am a bit concerned that you seem to think you still have to make major decisions when it comes to "moving forward".

You're on an escalator right now. You can just chilll, and let the escalator take you where you want to go (to start something romantic with this guy). You really don't need to do anything, or wonder if he knows that you know that he likes you.

Would you mind explaining what in the world your planning/thinking about?

[Asker]

First of all thank you so much for taking your time out and typing all of this its SO much appreciated and has helped me loads!

I think honestly you’ve made things so clear to me in a way which I would’ve never thought. It makes so much sense what you said about he knows we both like each other and isn't bothered as of yet if I know that he likes me as this will happen in time. I never thought of it like that.
~I also want to mention I can’t understand of how he can make a decision whether he likes me because he’s only seen me with a mask on? Like he’s seen my eyes and figure etc but not my full face. People have generally called me pretty and slim but not like he’s seen it.

To be honest I was feeling on cloud nine knowing we both like each other I mean how rare is that?
Basically I thought it was important for him to know that I know that he likes me back ONLY Because I just thought he might stop trying on his end if he thinks I have no clue of him liking me back.

[Asker]

So ill explain what initially happened, coincidently I met his auntie as she works at my workplace and we had a convo and it got deep, it came up about relationships etc and she asked if I liked anyone/ got a boyfriend. So I explained to her I like this guy etc but I don’t think he remembers me as I was wearing a face mask when we spoke and he’s only ever seen me once etc (we work in the same hospital). Big coincidence it happens to be her nephew. I only work there occasionally. I told her I may never see him again because of shift patterns and as I have another job. I think from the convo we had she got the idea that I’m just thinking he doesn’t remember me at ALL and that I was looking concerned of maybe not seeing him again. She said “whatever is meant to be will be.” She did say she will hint it at him.

So basically after seeing his auntie the most random thing happens I start seeing him like probably 4 times but from afar weeks later. Only on one occasion were near each other and he turns the other way he literally waits for me to leave and then walks behind at this point I thought oh he must know but isn’t interested. However ii see him stare from afar time after and then smile and look at his phone when I’m walking near him. Fast forward 3 months later, we end up on shift together (so crazy as the last time we were on together was 5 months ago)

[Asker]

This is when he comes right up to me and makes excuses of asking where some equipment is etc. I was taken aback. He also stuck up for me when one of the patients were being innaporopraite and he asked me to let him know if he says anything else and hell sort him out. He then on the same day makes an excuse for someone to cover his work so that he can come out when I was going on my break. He acted very quickly and made sure to get out same time as me (He literally was looking at me in the parking lot for ages and he waited for me to return to work then he came after me) Seemed like he knew that might be his only opportunity to take a good look at me as I took my face mask off when outside.

So him sticking up for me with the patient really broke the ice. Then at the end of the day he presented himself near me but didn’t say anything. He was smirking abit so I just started off the convo and we spoke he was looking straight ahead and only looked at me a couple of times. (I could feel some tension) However that day ended well. 2 days later I see him again but randomly bump into him up the stairs he literally says oh, my, god and looks at me straight I don’t think he meant to make it obvious but think he was just shocked to see me. That was a big hint too.

[SteveSmith1985]

You are really cute. Just so you know. S

So this certainly sounds like a guy who likes you. But also a guy who isn't entirely comfortable interacting with women on a romantic level. He is definitely on the shy/nervous side (with you, even if he's the most confident extrovert in general). But yes, this sounds like he likes you, but probably wouldn't (yet) be worrying too much about whether you know he likes you back. He is showing it in clear ways, but not in so over-the-top ways that he's assuming you know.

THe reason it doesn't matter if he knows if you know that he likes you back is because: He isn't worried about the possibility that you'll lose interest. You were interested in him before knowing he likes you. He knows that he is interacting MORE with you (in big and little ways) than he was before... when you liked him anyway. So, he's confident you're interested REGARDLESS. He knows that by showing HIS interest (whether he intends for you to pick-up on it or not)... that's naturally going to have the effect of your feelings growing... not diminishing. So whether you are aware that he likes you back or not, again, doesn't actually matter. If... you followed all that,...

But back to the matter at hand: moving forward.

So this guy likes you. You like him. You have every rght to be on cloud 9. Everything is looking great! So... what's your next move?🙂

[Asker]

Sorry for the late reply I’ve been at work. Thankyou I’m just shocked at how you’ve understood the whole situation so well it’s been really helpful thank you 😊Also sorry about the previous reply I got carried away.

See that now makes sense I was worried he’ll stop making an effort to speak but as you said he knows I liked him before knowing he does so he isn’t worried about that. I think if anything he could see this as a great move forward how we’ve ended up speaking after all that time? I also think he knows I am really interested as I mentioned it to his auntie 2 months after initially meeting him just the one time.

[Asker]

I did follow it all and it makes a lot of sense thankyou :) I think he’s been quite clever and he knows I've made an effort to speak to him after realising he’s also trying to speak to me. He also knew it wasn’t going to be easy to break the ice but that’s now happened which was the main part. It will only get easier being able to speak to him.

I think when I next see him I will just speak to him and make it very comfortable as the i goal awkwardness is over. I do REALLY like him so don’t want to have any regrets.

[SteveSmith1985]

I am so glad this got you to stop worrying! You have nothing to worry about. You are in one of the VERY BEST stages of a relationship. The pre-relationship phase... where nobody has TOLD anybody that they like the other one... but you both KNOW😉

Honestly, that is a super-fun period---and it's always a super-short period of time. I would hate for you to 'miss it' worrying about something that 100% would never happen. I am also glad that you're comfort level's going up. That's great! That's the way that you start to each see who the other person really is inside.

I can tell you REALLY like him! 😋

You really seem like someone who's super-sweet, innocent and kind-hearted. It makes my day to be able to give you such clear and unambiguous good-news about someone you like so much! 🙂

[Asker]

Thankyou so much I also wanted to ask you one last question do you think he could have found it at all cringe/ off putting that he found out I like him through his auntie? - that was my only opportunity to find out about him and how old he is

Thats really sweet of you thanks you seem like a very kind and helpful person :) Overall I am very happy I came across you on here and you’ve actually sorted out this whole situation for me and given me a heads up I will be forever grateful :) I will go for it 100% this is a perfect situation to be in with a crush :)

[SteveSmith1985]

No, he will not have found it off-putting that he found out you like him through his auntie. (I am also 100% sure on this).

Since he likes you too, he really couldn't care less HOW he came by this information. He doesn't care at all the WAY you chose to convey this information. He could have found out in some way that was super-off-putting... and he still really wouldn't care. He wouldn't even THINK along those lines.

All he cares about is the good news!! He isn't thinking about having found out through his auntie. All he cares about is finding out that you like him. You really don't need to worry about this. 🙂

I'm glad I ran into you on here too! You are indeed in a great situation. There is nothing to worry about, and it's all smooth sailing!

Feel free to shoot me a message anytime 🙂

[Asker]

I totally understand thanks for explaining so clearly, it’s really not a concern. If two people like each other that's all that matters and it doesn't matter how they both ended up finding out about liking each other.

I also think he knows that the situation were both in when we get a chance we have to just find a way to speak to each other. As I took the opportunity to find out about him through the coincidence of meeting his auntie. And he took the opportunity to stick up for me and speak directly when the incident happened with a patient which helped break the ice between us.

I appreciate it and once again thank you for all the great advice I will do! :)

[SteveSmith1985]

Oh you're very welcome! I'm glad you've got a budding romance on the horizon. Enjoy all the butterflies and silly smiling. I wish you two the best of luck! 🙂

[Sparkie460]

Yes he definitely is interested in you. If he wasn't he'd be avoiding you

[Asker]

Thankyou :)

[Sparkie460]

You're welcome

[Sparkie460]

Thanks for the mho

[athlete_7]

Yeah he does like u back dood find ways to talk lol

[Asker]

thanks!

[Xoxocutekitty]

He likes you.

A