Is it bad to say I love you often to friend with benefits?

[Anonymous]

if he's not reciprocate, means I should stop saying that?

[MrOracle]

Yes!

The very definition of a "Friend With Benefits" is: a person you have casual sex with but do not develop feelings for and do not expect to reciprocate any feelings back from.

The ONE RULE of friends with benefits is that you do not have any expectations that they'll develop feelings for you. You've broken that rule. He's not the one in violation here - you are.

Friend With Benefits is JUST SEX - nothing more. It's sex at your mutual convenience, to satisfy your sexual needs. That's it. Nothing else to see here.

The thing is: most women are incapable of friends with benefits, at least unless they've been extremely promiscuous or they suffered physical or sexual abuse as a child (and these groups heavily overlap). You're just not being honest with yourself that friends with benefits's aren't for you, and so you've developed feelings and you want him to do the same - in violation of the ONE RULE.

[PeteBy]

Agree with the women on here. The entire point of friends with benefits is sex and no strings. When you become emotionally attached. Time to stop. It may hurt but not half as much as the turmoil you'll face knowing it's not reciprocated. He's using your emotions for his own desires as he knows you keep coming back and that is not healthy for you.

[Asker]

😔 I'm trying to stop.. but I don't know how. I can't go cold turkey anymore because I already tried. it made me fell ill. seriously I fell ill. I had gastric like a week. I thought I died

[HelloImGoodThanks]

Why would you say I love you. friends with benefits very rarely ever turns into a relationship! so you are wasting your time saying it. Even more so since he is not reciprocate back to you. If you have feelings for him end it now. The longer you stay with this guy knowing you have feelings for him you are going to get hurt the very day he ends things to be with someone else who he will choose to be his girlfriend.

[Asker]

okay I'm trying.. 😔 what about if I tell him I miss him when we are not together?

[HelloImGoodThanks]

Don't even say that. Again a relationship is not going to happen. friends with benefits is 99.99% just about the sex. End things now that your feelings have become involved.

[Asker]

If he say he miss me, is he trying to play with my feeling?

since you said that.. I'm trying to end it..

[HelloImGoodThanks]

Just cause he says it doesn't mean he actually misses you. Some guys just say whatever to keep a girl around if they know they are getting free sex

[Asker]

😔 have you ever had this relationship?

[HelloImGoodThanks]

Yes twice and both times it ended in heartbreak for me. I'm not trying to be a bitch to you I can already see it will end in heartache for you and I don't want you to go through it because it hurts so much more staying with a guy who you know doesn't feel the same way and he ends up in a relationship with another girl

[Asker]

do you still keep in touch with them?

[HelloImGoodThanks]

one of them emotionally abused me and pressured me into doing things i didn't want to do he went onto marry someone else as for the 2nd one I did keep in contact but it just wasn't a good thing as my feelings were there for him and he made it known he never wanted to be with me. It hurt when I found out he was sleeping with someone else while sleeping with me but I didn't know this at first until Months later

[Asker]

why... they are so horrible? 😔 did you get anxiety attack?

[HelloImGoodThanks]

I was weak and Insecure. It's a recipe for disaster as it makes you an easy target for people treating you horribly

[Asker]

can you tell me how did you move on?

[HelloImGoodThanks]

I haven't been able to unfortunately.

[Asker]

I'm sorry to hear that :( I hope these kind of guys will get karma..

what about now? are you okay?

[HelloImGoodThanks]

Somedays I'm okay other days not so much I'm waiting to see the psychologist thank you for asking appreciate it

[Asker]

I hope you get better soon.. thank you for warning me 🥺🤗 if you need someone to talk , I'm here , okay

[HelloImGoodThanks]

Thank you and you are welcome

[Asker]

you're welcome :)

[AsaKyo]

You knew what you were getting into by doing this
Better to end it before you get hurt

[Asker]

end the whole thing?

[AsaKyo]

Yes, end the whole thing

[Still-alive]

yes end things now

[AsaKyo]

@Still-alive You shoo, mister
This is girl talk

[Still-alive]

*stays* >;)

[AsaKyo]

@Still-alive >:(

[Asker]

😔 I'm trying but it's difficult

[AsaKyo]

Just try to distance yourself from him a little at a time

[Asker]

I'm trying to not be clingy, so we became distance for some time but then when he came back, everything became hot again.

[Kaneki05]

I mean why would you say it if it's not true. But if it is true the... whole point of a friends with benefits is not to love them so your just heading for heartbreak there and have fooled yourself.

[Asker]

😔 I can't stop.. my feeling towards him growing more..

[20yearsolder]

Yeah typically there's not supposed to be much emotion in a friends with benefits situation. He's there for sex and thats it. I would guess that if you continue to say I love you, it will end very shortly

[spartan55]

Wow, you have zero self respect. Why would you say that? 🙄

[Asker]

I thought he'll 😔

[spartan55]

You don't understand fwbs?

[Asker]

I no long understand that

[Asker]

longer*

[SlothySlob]

Yeah, it looses all it's meaning and becomes something you always say.

[Anonymous]

You should never have told him those words to begin with

you are a fuck buddy and nothing more and you never will be

[Asker]

why never will be.. ? 😔 why guy's heart so hard.. like a steel?

[Opinion Owner]

Because a female who will put out to a guy without any commitment shows her value. We don’t gain emotional connection during sex the way women do and therefore we will never put effort into falling for a female who is easy.

[Asker]

but the thing is reserved... on women

[Opinion Owner]

yes generally.

[Asker]

so why guys can't be open their mind to love her back?

[Opinion Owner]

Why would you want to love someone who has no respect for herself and will fuck a guy without commitment.

[Asker]

love?

[Anonymous]

Yes it is, because that goes against what friends with benefits is all about.

[maximumpower]

Yes. friends with benefits is just that.