I feel so sad and confused. I met a guy who was so nice and sweet. He was so respectful and kind to me. He wasn’t perfect but he seemed a great guy?

[Sydneygirl91]

We eventually got into a relationship. This last month has gotten me so confused by his sudden changed behaviour. He went away for work and it was his birthday. I said can we video call after you land and he said yes. I had a cupcake and candle and I was going to sing happy birthday to him. 1 hour has gone passed and I texted him what was going on and he said I’m having dinner with workmates can we chat later? Which upset me but I didn’t say anything to him. We were hardly talking while he was away and I even said to him do you even want to be with me? He said he does but work has just been so busy. A few days go past and we talked on the phone and told me he misses and can’t wait to go home to see me. I was going through a hard time too because my mum was having surgery a few days later to remove cancer and he knew I was sad and worried about my mum. Two days later after telling me he misses me I get a text at midnight telling me we shouldn’t see each anymore because work is going to be busy for the next few months and he will be away a lot. I then try to call him after him telling me that. He responds with I will call you tomorrow I’m going to sleep in which he didn’t call me the next day. I asked him could we talk about it when you get back and he said yes. I asked him do you still miss me and he said he always does. Sometimes he would say he doesn’t know. We were suppose to meet up but he changed his mind and didn’t keep his word. It was like he was just playing mind games with me. After he broke his word I stopped texting him. I was just keeping in contact because I thought we were going to meet up to talk about it like he said he would. What broke my heart too is he knew I had his birthday presents waiting for him which I got rid of now but he just didn’t care. I always showed him respect and the thing is he was so kind and respectful to me in the beginning too. He was encouraging, supportive and he made me feel beautiful. How does someone just change?

[Tokyofreeter]

It's hard to say exactly what must have been going through his mind when he dumped you, so to speak.

As a man, I would take it as an excuse if he said "I'm too busy at work". It's an excuse because there are 24 hours in a day and love always finds a few quiet moments.
It seems like he lost interest in you very quickly and probably replaced you with another woman. That's how it sounds to me as a man.

He'll tell you he misses you etc. but I think that's the old tactic of keeping a woman on the bench and keeping him on your radar until he's sure the other relationship is working.

We live in the 21st century, are we so advanced in digitalization that you can communicate live with people around the world and this man wants to tell you that he has too much to do?
So he can't even text you before bed or when he gets up in the morning, or make a 5-minute video call in between?

[Sydneygirl91]

Exactly I know it’s an excuse. He can’t even be honest with me and I deserve honesty. He was just very cruel to me. Like ending things through a text message then when I tried calling him after that he says I’m going to sleep I will call you tomorrow which he never did. It’s just so cold honestly. Don’t you agree?

[Adam1978]

Sounds more like you can't handle a independent man, he is working and that means you are out of the picture. You have to retreat to the free time and limit your calls to like once a day maximum. You will never be more important than keeping that paycheck coming.

[Simple-Simonette]

Whatever his intentions are is irrelevant.
You aren't a mind reader so you will never know what his true motivations are. It doesn't matter.
What matters is you.
You are only responsible for your behavior. And your behavior didn't make him an asshole. That's just what he is.

[Anonymous]

Is the guy's name Jay and lives in Sydney and around 38 years old born in Fiji. if it is, maybe he is going through some personal things and he isn't ready to talk about what is happening with you or anyone.

[Anonymous]

The thing is guys will say anything they think you want to hear.