I admitted to having a soft spot for him in my heart? he said he has a soft spot in his heart for me to?

[Anonymous]

I think I’m a little in love with him. I adore him as a man for so many reasons, but I don’t think he shares the absolute same feelings that I have for him

we fight a lot and we were actually supposed to be friends with benefits. I got mad at him a lot bc he didn’t want to sleep with me.. he admitted to being “concerned”.. he said that I was vulnerable (in which I was!) I was going through something. He said he didn’t want to hurt me. We also wanted different things.. I wanted a relationship with him.

He has told me some truth about myself that I needed to hear..

I do think we care for eachother but it hurts bc he doesn’t feel the same way.. but he did say that he also has a soft spot for me too.. maybe he didn’t mean it

Updates

+1 y

He also says that for some odd reason he likes me and wants the best for me.

He works 48 hour shifts back to back bc he works as a firefighter but he does always get back to me even on calls

[FilmGuy93]

It sounds like you guys are attached and love each other. This is a situation where leaving something unsaid might just be the best way to go. Just enjoy things for what they are =)

[Asker]

I was mad at him a lot tho. It has not been a perfect journey at all and we never slept together lol the irony of it all.

He said that I was lonely angry and insecure

[Asker]

But I more so reach out to him ☹️ He’s slowly starting to come around

[FilmGuy93]

As long as you feel spiritually fulfilled by the interaction; that's what matters. Men and women can come around to each other, but you should never be giving yourself to someone that makes you feel like a drain for wanting them to give back.

[Asker]

No I don’t feel emotionally fulfilled.. he said just because he doesn’t want a relationship doesn’t mean he doesn’t like. But I don't know

I do feel that we do care about eachother but his career is first right now and that’s what ended his 3 year relationship before

[FilmGuy93]

Then, if I were you, I would start to back away from him and try to identify what you need to be getting from him to feel fulfilled. Having sex with someone outside of a committed relationship isn't necessarily a bad thing, but you should be feeling rejuvenated by him. You can do that by setting healthy boundaries with him.

People whose careers are worth focusing on, don't need to "focus on their career;" that's just an excuse to not invest more into a relationship. It's counter-intuitive, I know, but it's true.

This guy isn't giving you something that you need, so you need to take time to identify and express that need to him.

[Asker]

We have never had sex bc he said he didn’t want to hurt me

Yeah I should probably just walk away.. I try and explain it to him. I just don’t think he wants a relationship

He is a firefighter so I do understand and he’s probationary

[FilmGuy93]

Gotcha! Sorry, I misread your comment about the sex thing. I think that this guy is putting up enough “no” signs that even if he does like you, the connection is just a bad fit.

[Asker]

So just leave him alone?

[FilmGuy93]

Yeah. That relationship is just not going anywhere.

[Asker]

I’m so fucking sad

[Asker]

I thought he cared

[FilmGuy93]

I'm sorry. =( It's never easy to go through situations like this. He probably did/does care; he just can't bring himself to emotionally invest himself in you the way you need.

[Asker]

Okay, thank you 🥲❤️