How do you become a guy’s first choice?

[Anonymous]

I keep losing to prettier more popular girls and I’m sick of it. Even if he likes me at first some other girl always show up and suddenly they’ve just clicked and they’re in own little romcom and I just have to resign because they’re falling in love and otherwise I’m a villain making a fool of myself over a boy who won’t even choose me in the end. I’m so tired of it and it’s never my turn. How do you become the first choice?

[MrOracle]

I have no idea who you are pursuing, but most women only see and only want the top 10% guys - the hot, tall, popular guys. But those guys get all the girls and keep none of them. If you are pursuing these guys, you need to know that they almost never commit to any girl - they just use them until she becomes a hassle or until he gets bored, and then she is easily replaced with a new one.

Pick guys based on their morals, values, and life goals, rather than looks or popularity, or expect to be used and discarded.

[Asker]

I go for quiet introverts 90% of the time like guys who don’t talk to a ton of girls at all. They’re attractive to me but most of the time my friend will look at me like I’m crazy. But then some other girl will show up and they’ll be so caught up in her.

[MrOracle]

Well, that's an issue too. Women are extremely competitive with each other about men, and if another woman sees you with a guy, she assumes that there must be something good about him (because you've "pre-selected" him for her), and if you don't have him locked down yet, she can sweep in and steal him from you. And a guy who is used to being ignored by women, who not only has you talking to him, but then a SECOND woman sweeps in and shows interest, it sets his mind spinning and it's hard for him to think straight.

If you're going after that kind of guy, you're going to need to do so privately, and SHUT UP about it and not tell anyone, until you have him locked down. If your friends or the girls around you find out, they'll often try to sabotage that relationship or steal him from you. That sucks, but it's true.

[Guy13]

It is the other things like graciousness, lighting up a room, the person that everyone chats too, gentle sweet nature. Just have to wait for the right one?

[Asker]

so it’s litterally out of my hands so matter how good I think I’m doing with a guy if some other girl shows up and he feels she lights up a room more and is more gentle then I’m done for? Who do they get to be viewed that’s way why not me did they just get lucky? What the hell

[Guy13]

It sucks but it pretty much is... it is the same for us though... it sucks all the way around. That girl i described was in grad school but "I didn't sign up for this" once my strenuous work life begin.. It SUCKS...

[Anonymous]

Do you have any idea why they decide to go with the other girl and not you? It’s a pretty shitty move but I guess you dodged a bullet, it shows that they’ll leave once someone “better” in their eyes comes along

[Bethany22]

By being more confident and busier than the prettier girls

[Asker]

I do that though at least I feel I do and that’s why I’m so fucking over it all because no matter what I do I can’t seem to win

[CuriousMufuxka]

Stop being such a goddamn girl! Get over your cycle and pretend to be a guy for like 5 to 6 hours..

[Anonymous]

It's all about confidence.

[Asker]

I’ve worked in being confident forever I meditate and I’ve worked on myself forever and im still never the one they want? Honestly it just pisses me off because how much more do I have to do why do I have to make myself worthy of love while they can just get boyfriends just because?