Is it morally OK for (taken) men to compliment women if they genuinely mean it and have no ulterior motive?

[thomasjjeffy]

Suppose he is taken. His colleague in the office has a nice earring or dressed well for the an event. I'd not want anything from her, yet I imagine his SO (or girls in general) might be pissed if they knew.

Where do you think is the borderline?

Updates

1 y

Story: last time there was a meetup of my high-school. This female classmate of mine got some really special earrings, around as special looking as on the image. It is difficult "not to see it". When she complimented me for dressing up elegant, I could not help not praising her earring.

[hahahmm]

No but it would be foolish for a long list of reasons like:

1. It's quite possible your woman would find out about it one day and when that happens it will harm the trust she has for you. Is complimenting this woman worth it? No. Absolutely not. Let her own man or other dudes compliment her.

2. She could easily twist what you say into a sexual harassment complaint with HR and you will lose. You are risking your job/career just to stroke her ego? No. And it doesn't matter if you're certain she wouldn't do that because you can't predict how she will feel about it 6 months down the road. She's allowed to change her mind and turn anything, no matter how innocent or mutually okay into being practically rape later on & HR will believe her 100%. So it's not just about how things seem NOW... it's really about her character and there's no way you can really understand that about some co-worker.

It's harder to comprehend this when you're really young and have little to risk. The older you get and the more resources you have the more it becomes a no brainer tho. Not risking my house for some woman... I don't care if she was the finest looking woman on earth and was begging me to flirt. Nah.

[Effably]

Sure! Of course some compliments are off the table, some are questionable and others perfectly fine.

Complimenting someone's earrings goes into the perfectly fine category. Even more so if you are doing it after receiving a compliment as it is then a recognized process of exchanging niceties.

Telling her what nice buttocks she has might be off the table.
Telling the previously hot girl she's hot might be off the table but telling that one person who made a transformation and changed completely? On the table with the caveat you might want to do a quick sidebar with your S. O right before.

What matters is your intent, but more specifically your intent as understood by others.

[petitedollbabee]

Non-body compliments are fine. However complimenting a random woman on her body is very inappropriate. My exception to that would be if it’s a friend or family member who’s been working on themselves and going to the gym often etc and wants to show him her progress, without taking her clothes off.

[fembotnpc777]

I'm extremely jealous in relationships, and this would not bother me at all. I could kind of see where it would bother some women though. If he was like, "I'm so and so, this is my lovely wife" after the compliment, I would just think he was a classy guy.

[AviatorTom]

There is nothing wrong with a man complimenting a woman on how she looks. Women should understand that, most of the time, it's just a compliment and the man is not looking for anything more. And the woman should be able to detect when it's more than a compliment.

[bolverk]

If you genuinely giving the complement for a piece of jewellery or how they were dressed then the SO has nothing to complain about,

If they person you are complementing takes umbrage, then loudly withdraw the complement, but do not apologise under any circumstances.

[Guy13]

No hidden intent and in sincerity then it is sweet. Otherwise, get your penis or career back in your pants

[anon1903]

Of course, as long as it's nothing sexual or emotional

[ArtemisSilver]

There is no right way, there is no wrong way, you have your way, I have mine.

[Sparkie460]

It's perfectly fine to give women compliments. It all depends on how you say it.

[DrBanana]

That’s cute really I see no issue with this.


Not like your trying to jump their bones.

[Twalli]

I like to compliment people. Making them feel good makes me feel good

[CallmeTheKnight]

No. Compliments are just that... compliments.

[In_Trance]

There's always an ulterior motive

[Anonymous]

I see no problem with it.

[Agape93]

Of course its ok