There’s a guy who I have been friends with for a while. I liked him as more than a friend for about 6 months now and wasn’t sure if he felt the same. But a couple of weeks ago, he kissed me after a night out and said that he had wanted to do that for months. Since then, the last couple of weeks has been pretty intense. We went on 4 dates, got intimate with each other, he was always asking to meet up lots. He told me he really really liked me, that I meant a lot to him, took selfies of us when we were out on dates and sent them to his family! He was the one driving this forwards at this pace, which is far more intense than I usually move with a guy but we have been good friends for over a year so it seemed quite natural. Today we had arranged to meet for another date, which he seemed super keen about yesterday, but instead he text me this afternoon saying he ‘wanted to talk about things’, so we just went for a walk instead. He told me that he didn’t see this working out long-term and whilst he was enjoying dating me and spending time with me, he realised this morning that a relationship wasn’t what he truly wanted. I feel completely blindsided and confused given everything that he has been doing and saying over the last couple of weeks. Why would a guy tell you that he really likes you and openly talk about you to his family if he wasn’t sure that he wanted to pursue a serious relationship? We both had a great time on the dates, had a lot in common, have similar values and want similar things from life. He said he finds me very attractive too, so I’m just really confused right now and would love some insight from guys as to what on earth has just happened for him to come to this conclusion? He really wants to remain friends, but I’m not sure where this goes from here or what I should do now? Thanks in advance
You poor thing. I can see why you're confused by all of this.
Let me start of by saying it's DEFINITELY not you that's his issue. I'm absolutely positive he finds you attractive and enjoys your company. You seem amazing. I think he's getting cold feet about this and is scared of the unknown. He's probably panicking it's all gone so fast, one minute you were just friends, now you're both intense. He's also may be worried about messing this up and losing you. All this is just an assumption by me, but it sounds very possible.
What you need to do is tell him you feel hurt and confused you are. You can do this by text if you don't feel you're ready to do this in person. You need to let him know how much you like him, how much you were looking forward to what will happen, but now you're hurt and confused. Tell him if he isn't able to give you real, straight answers, you are not sure of a future as friends let alone as a couple. Say you want the truth.
Once you get the truth out of him, it will be down to you on what path you wish to take. This is where you will listen to your natural gut instinct.
Most Helpful Opinions
He’s been talking to Mom? Or is he one of the Love 💣 💣💣💣💣 type of guys that run it into the ground until the Buzz wears off?
What Guys Said
He had some doubts in the back of his mind that he was hiding and keeping from you. It sucks but the only thing you can do is move on
He's not interested so what; find somebody else
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