Guy seemed attracted to me and then pulled away?

[Anonymous]

There’s a guy who I thought seemed to be attracted to me over the past few months, he would often check me out from a distance and quickly look down when I caught his gaze, lock eyes deeply when taking one to one, seem a bit fidgety and awkward at times, but be super caring and helpful.

We went to a party recently and ended up talking one to one about our lives most of the night. I did tell him I had a boyfriend, because I felt like even though I was attracted to him, he should know.

Since then he has pulled away big time and doesn’t engage. We are in the same friends group and he’s completely withdrawn from my messages and kept it very short and sweet. I still like him as a friend and miss talking to him. Why has he pulled away so much?

[wheist9095]

He was attracted to you in a romantic or sexual way not in a platonic way, so now that he knows you're not on the market he's not going to put his whole back into connecting with you because you are not available as a romance partner for him.

There's nothing wrong with you or him in this situation, and there's nothing you can do to get more engagement out of him because he was engaging with a specific mindset which won't work out.

Just be cool with a little distance and it should resolve any awkwardness after a while

[Asker]

Thank you, this is so helpful. So good to hear from a guys point of view.

[wheist9095]

No problem, that's what we're here for after all. Maybe you can try and find a gal for him?

[Asker]

Quick question though- seen him today and find he still checks me out from a distance and walks past me to look at me etc but doesn’t engage through conversation and text is very or the point. Why would he still check me out though?

[wheist9095]

Just because he knows you're not available doesn't mean he isn't still attracted to you. I don't think he would make it a problem or cross any boundaries about it but looking is generally considered harmless

[Asker]

Ok thanks, good to know.

[Asker]

Sorry last thing, do you think it would be wrong to approach him and talk about it directly to clear the air or is that wrong?

[wheist9095]

It couldn't hurt to have a conversation

[Asker]

Thank you

[In_Trance]

So this guy expresses interest you give him nothing in return and then you wonder why he pulls away...

[Asker]

Well I really like him, but I have a boyfriend. What am I supposed to do, dump my boyfriend for him?

[In_Trance]

Smh... Ridiculous

[PeachyPie93]

He liked you but you have a boyfriend so now he's not interested, it seems pretty straightforward lol.

[Asker]

Thanks yeah I get that, just a shame we can’t be friends.