He has stopped putting an effort. Is it time for me to break up with him?

[Anonymous]

We're in a LDR atm. He has started delaying his replies without a legitimate reason, isn't as affectionate anymore etc. I've tried bringing it up to him and he says that it happens sometimes cause that's life.

[DanielDiaz]

I need more context before I can objectively answer this question. When you say, "at the moment," how long has this moment been—a month, a year? How long are you planning on being away from each other? If you are planning to move closer to each other in the near future, then I would say stick it out and wait until he is physically with you to get over this. However, if this LDR is going to continue for the intermittent future, then I would not count on things working themselves out.

Long-term LDRs are not practical, and from what I have observed, they rarely, if ever, work out.

[Asker]

We've been with each other since July 2021. Meeting almost every month. He was supposed to get a place where I live, but there has been some problems for him (professionally/financially speaking) so there was a change of plans. I haven't seen him since October 😐

[DanielDiaz]

This makes things easier to understand. As a guy who has struggled his entire life professionally/financially, I can tell you that economic anxiety has a very serious emotional effect on men. It is something that can really disrupt a man's thought process and coping skills. Right now he is dealing with getting this circumstance resolved and he is stressed over it, which makes socializing and relationships that much more difficult.

Men have always, and will always be judged by their ability to provide and succeed professionally and financially, and when we face a challenge in that regard, we want our space to minimize being judged by other's dehumanizing opinions. I am on yet another career path, and I don't want to socialize/date until I "get my shit together and stop being a low-value beta male," as women have so eloquently told me. Even if I do get my finances in order, it will always be in the forefront of my mind that my ability to perform in the job market will determine my ability to be considered relationship worthy and I will not want to fully invest my emotions in a woman that would objectify me that way.

I will say, that your guy is lucky that you have been so patient with him for so long while he is going through such a difficult time. Most women are heartless in these situations and would have been gone long ago.

[Asker]

Thank you for your reply 😊

[exitseven]

A long distance relationship can only work if both participants put in the effort to make it work.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[Haaa135]

I would just try and communicate what you're feeling with him. Then pull back and let him respond. If he continues to be like this without explanation for a sustained period of time, without any legitimate reason, then maybe end it.

[Asker]

I've tried, but there's no change from him. A few days ago we got into a little argument cause he delayed his reply for 3 hours, tonight he did it again.

[In_Trance]

You lost me at LDR