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Okay so my crush might be aromntic. But he really wants to feel love and I want to help him tbh. So, do y'all have any tips? Bro said he feels more needed than wanted. I want him to have the experience.
Updates
1 y
Y'all overthinking. soon 14 ofc i can date. But i don't wanna. I just want the guy to feel wanted and cared for. That's what friends are for, right? and experience i mean the feeling of being cared for...
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Opinion
2Opinion
I... just heard this term for the very first time... in your question. I am shocked and confused. I have been trying to get my head around, (and learn about) asexuality... but aromantic... goddammit... that's a bridge too far for me.
At least if it means what I'm assuming it means: someone who doesn't or can't experience feelings of romantic affection. PLEASE tell me I'm totally wrong and this means something totally different.
DID NOT SEE YOU WERE 13!!! I'm so sorry!!!
I want to give you a proper apology. I am mortified that I wrote what I replied to you here.
I come on GAG because I enjoy helping people. I want to sprinkle random goodness to some random strangers somewhere in the world. I am here to help people, and to contribute to the 'good' in the world.
I don't come on here to be a jerk; or to be obnoxious; or to say unnecessary, unhelpful, insensitive things to people I don't know.
What I said to you, would have been wrong for me to say even if you were 23 or 33. It was just... obnoxious and unhelpful. Totally unnecessary.
But seeing that I had just said that to a 13-year-old girl... That hit-me-in-the-face like a brick.
And this has been bothering me ever since. (I realize you're likely to see my obnoxious comments, and all these messages all at once) It highlighted so clearly that this was something I should have never said--to anyone.
The idea that I'm the grown-ass-man who is being obnoxious to a 13 year old girl... that REALLY doesn't sit well with me. That's NOT me.
The last thing I want, is to make a 13 year old feel unwelcome on GAG; or to minimize or trivialize a situation that you post about. (anybody's situation... but especially someone really young)
I am really sorry. I am not someone who gets embarrassed easily. But I am genuinely embarrassed that I wrote what I wrote to you here initially.
That's pretty muhc what it means yea.
It's okay... soon 14 ig. But really it's okay :D
Thank you for being so forgiving.
I'm going to try and redeem myself (somewhat) you some sort of answer to your question:
So, I think what you ought to do... is essentially to continue to build trust and closeness between the two of you. That doesn't even need to be 'romantic closeness' just... as friends is just fine.
Feelings are more likely to develop once you've fostered a high degree of mutual trust. Then people start taking off their 'masks' and really getting close. This closeness CAN (but doesn't always, not by any means) lead to romantic feelings developing.
That being said, whether someone is aromantic or not... romantic feelings still require 'chemistry' between you two (otherwise you end up being good, close friends now that you've built this high level of mutual trust)
So I think all you can do are the 'regular' things someone might do to try and make something happen with their crush. Basically... flirt a little. Particularily, make a point to 'be near him' as much as possible (even if it's sorta obvious what you're doing). Sit next to him, make a point to go talk to him when you usually wouldn't (at lunch maybe, or text him after school if you don't usually talk over text). Make excuses to 'put yourself near him'.
All you can really do is to attempt to 'arouse his interest/affection' by making your own affection for him clear in your actions (i. e. flirting).
Now, this may not work. If he's not ABLE to have those romantic feelings, then I think you're sorta screwed no matter what. If he IS able to have those feelings... it doesn't automatically mean he'll end up feeling them towards YOU. I just mean that nobody can CHOOSE to 'like/love' any particular person. That's all chemistry. So all you can do is to TRY and see if you and he might indeed have that chemistry. Just don't be too disheartened if you're unsuccessful. It sounds like an uphill battle. Good luck 🙂
Awe thank youuu c:
You're 13. You aren't mature enough to date or do anything resembling it and get any sort of positive outcome from it.
I don't wanna date. I just want to make him feel wanted
That's not your job, and trying to get involved is only going to bring trouble.
So i can't even help just a little? He's never really been cared for a home a lot. Can I not do anything?
How are you going to help him? Option A is he's lying to you and manipulating you, option B is you make him attached to you, then when you two inevitably don't stay together he ends up feeling 10x worse. Anything you do will only be bad.
Give him plenty of hugs. Kiss him only if you want to. 🙂👍
tHANK YOUU
You’re welcome 👍🙂