This might be a common situation but still I'd really appreciate some help.
So here's a little bit of my background. I am a 20-year-old guy studying in college. I'm an introvert and less expressive person so I have a hard time socialising. Plus, my first year and a half happened online due to covid, so I wasn't able to make any friends during that time.
So several months ago, I and another guy I knew got to know this girl due to a college event. Shortly after that, I started having a crush on that girl. But apparently she started liking that guy.
As time went by, we all got closer as friends. We all are now part of the same group. They are pretty much the only friends I have in college.
About a month ago, this girl told me about her crush on that guy. I got kinda upset but I didn't show it and just tried to act normal. Besides, it didn't seem like that guy liked her back.
Now the thing about me is that I don't have small crushes. Usually when I like someone, I fall hard. And that is exactly what happened with this girl. But I couldn't tell my friends about it because they all ship her with that guy.
From the past few days, I began observing some chemistry between them. And I freaked out.
I decided to talk to that guy about it. I told him about my feelings for her. I asked what exactly is the situation between them. He said they are friends but there's potential for more. I asked if he likes her but he won't answer that. He said I should move on.
After this I talked to another mutual friend who is a girl and very close to my crush. She is good at observing stuff and she had already guessed about my crush. She also said that she feels that that guy is keeping her around as an option.
This is all just upsetting. I don't know what to do. If I should act, I don't have a lot of time. It seems like they'd start dating anytime soon. And since we're in the same group, I'd have to see them together a lot and that would break me.
What do I do? And how do I deal with all this?
So here's a little bit of my background. I am a 20-year-old guy studying in college. I'm an introvert and less expressive person so I have a hard time socialising. Plus, my first year and a half happened online due to covid, so I wasn't able to make any friends during that time.
So several months ago, I and another guy I knew got to know this girl due to a college event. Shortly after that, I started having a crush on that girl. But apparently she started liking that guy.
As time went by, we all got closer as friends. We all are now part of the same group. They are pretty much the only friends I have in college.
About a month ago, this girl told me about her crush on that guy. I got kinda upset but I didn't show it and just tried to act normal. Besides, it didn't seem like that guy liked her back.
Now the thing about me is that I don't have small crushes. Usually when I like someone, I fall hard. And that is exactly what happened with this girl. But I couldn't tell my friends about it because they all ship her with that guy.
From the past few days, I began observing some chemistry between them. And I freaked out.
I decided to talk to that guy about it. I told him about my feelings for her. I asked what exactly is the situation between them. He said they are friends but there's potential for more. I asked if he likes her but he won't answer that. He said I should move on.
After this I talked to another mutual friend who is a girl and very close to my crush. She is good at observing stuff and she had already guessed about my crush. She also said that she feels that that guy is keeping her around as an option.
This is all just upsetting. I don't know what to do. If I should act, I don't have a lot of time. It seems like they'd start dating anytime soon. And since we're in the same group, I'd have to see them together a lot and that would break me.
What do I do? And how do I deal with all this?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
You really can't do anything besides find another girl that you think is attractive and put your energy in her. I bet the one you currently has a crush on senses it. Guys are clueless this way. I bet she has made her decision.
Well of course you're right about that. What should I do about my friendships with them?
I find myself kinda resenting that guy right now, not because she likes him, but because he is keeping her as a potential option, knowing that I genuinely like her. It's not like I hate him. He has been a really good friend, but right now I think he's being really selfish.
Thanks for answering by the way. Have a nice day!
I would give them space but stay involved once in awhile. the last thing you want is for either to consider you meddlesome and disruptive. Obviously, you are a considerate and kind man... and would hate to see their interpretation of you change negative.
Give them so space and let then ask you what's up AND then push a get together and have a good time.
I'd not even have asked this if I was sure he has genuine feelings for her the way I do. It just feels kinda unfair to me.
But yeah I understand. There's nothing else I can do now I guess :(
Give off the "happy for them" Vibe. In 3 months, who knows what she will decide. Have a good Christmas break etc...
Yeah thanks, you too :)
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