My boyfriend didn't buy me a birthday gift? What should I do?

[Anonymous]

me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 years, i met him online and then we saw each other in real on my birthday but he didn't know then that it was my birthday so i didn't expect a gift or a special thing. but 4 days ago it was my birthday again but he works abroad he didn't do anything but sending a text wishing me happy birthday not a gift not a call nothing but a text!! ever since i'm really turned off that i stopped calling or texting or even responding to him, there are no excuses for him (he is rich he could've bought somthing online etc.), now what should i do with him? ghost him? break up with him? or tell him that we should be friends? im sure it isn't normal not doing anything special to me as a girlfriend it even made me feel that he was faking love with me all the time.

[Mewipaws]

Just some questions I want to ask.

• Have you two met up recently in person?
• Does he know your home address?

I kinda feel that he could have been busy and not able to buy you a present. Like what you said, he is working aboard and could be swamped with work as we speak now.

This one is related to the 4th question I asked. What if he has bought you something online and it is currently being shipped to your house?

You can't be expecting things to happen just because you are in a relationship with him. You cutting off contacts with him because of this "not buying me a birthday present", is not helping much. Communication is the most important thing in a relationship. You have to talk to him about it. Not being rude but my personal opinion on the matter.

[Tyrael]

Talk about feeling entitled. He's abroad working his ass off to make the money you're happy to point out that he has. He text you, so he obviously didn't forget your birthday, and all you can do is sit and whine about not getting a gift.

You think money = love and because he hasn't spent money on you he doesn't care? Do him a favour and break up with him.

[Asker]

please don't be that rude, it isn't about money it is about that he had a free time and didn't call or spend time with me.

[sheikalana]

You know for some people birthdays and gifting are not a being deal and don’t mean anything to them. if he’s a great guy to you all the time why would you break things off and loose a potentially great relationship for such a lame reason. I understand this probably means a lot to you but have you thought maybe he’s not aware of it?

[itsalyssaagain]

Yeah my ex did that too. I gave it a few weeks to see if he’d get me anything but he didn’t. Turned out he was stingy (I realised later on) so I broke up with him.

Him not buying you a gift is an indication of a bigger issue. It could be that he’s stingy like my ex, or it could be that he’s selfish, low maintenance…. etc

[Asker]

actually i thought about that he is stingy but can someone be stingy though he doesn't make me pay for anything but we hangout once in month or two months, how can i know?

[itsalyssaagain]

Not buying a gift is an indication.

it’s quite hard to judge if someone is stingy or living within their means or whatever etc. But in my case it was very much subtle in the comments he’d make. Like if he took me out on a date he’d tell me about how much fuel he’d put in his car today. When I bought my iPhone 14 he said it was silly and a waste of money. I didn’t think too much of it at the time but accumulatively it made a lot of sense. What confirmed it for me was one day he specifically said I don’t want to go anywhere expensive - bear in mind he hadn’t taken me anywhere nice ever.

[itsalyssaagain]

And he thought the winter fair was expensive!!!

[Asker]

and how things ended up? you confronted him or what?

[itsalyssaagain]

I did and his response was he didn’t think it was an issue because my money was his money. And he expected that I pay for our dates too.

I mean nothing wrong with that if that’s what some people are happy to do but I wasn’t. I had paid for my own food on a couple of our dates so it wasn’t like he was paying for everything.

Then it got worse because he said in the future when we got married I wouldn’t be allowed to pick a ring and was sacrificing going to the barbers to save up and buy me a ring one day. Honestly I’m not a gold digger and I’m not materialistic but I don’t want anyone holding over my head that they’re buying me something. He said it like 3 times.

I broke up with him and said anyone with any self respect would not stay with him. It was tough…he wouldn’t take no for an answer because he didn’t think it was a valid reason to break up. But I never gave in.

[Asker]

i'm so proud of what you've done and yeah no one with any self respect would stay with a stingy person. i can see he did the counter attack thing to make you sound wrong as you demand your rights to have a gift or a ring. you aren't asking for too much its what you deserve. you saved yourself for the rest of your life. <3

[itsalyssaagain]

Aw thanks girl!! ❤️ but good luck I hope that’s helpful in any way! You definitely deserved a present at least. It could indicate he’s stingy or it could indicate other things

[RockyHammock]

Low maintenance is a red flag for you?

[itsalyssaagain]

It’s contextual I think

[ShellyB]

Something is not right, it is hard for me to guess what the issue is based only on what you wrote, but if this is a 95% online relationship maybe it doesn't seem totally real to him? I will tell you my opinion but first I want to be clear that I really don't know and I might be wrong. But my opinion is that I'd break up and offer to remain friends. JMO!

[OfMiceandMen]

Happy Belated Birthday! Inside is man that will shower you with love and gifts on future b-days. Open when ready!

[Anonymous]

You know for a minute you had me thinking this poor girl. But once you mentioned that he was rich, that there’s no excuse you lost me. Maybe that’s why he didn’t get you anything because he knows you’re only after his money. If I was him and I read what you just said I’d dump you. You also mentioned he doesn’t make you pay for anything? Stop feeling entitled.

[Asker]

Thanks for being rude. but i'm rich too and when it was his birthday i bought him a gift n made time for him to spend with cause we r in a relationship!!

[Opinion Owner]

I’m not being rude. Stop getting your feelings hurt because someone is being honest w you. That’s the difference between men and women. Women get their feelings hurt easily when someone is giving them an honest answer. You asked so I answered. I didn’t cuss you out or say you’re a POS. Women always playing the victim. Go get your own damn gift. Now I’m being rude in case you couldn’t tell.

[Stevefiveo]

I was raised in an abusive household and I had no idea you were supposed to buy a present for someone's birthday. I would always wonder why girls would get so mad after their birthdays or Valentine's day. But I finally learned my lesson. Although in your case, it seems he knows that he should have got you a present.

[Paris13]

You are Finding Out More and More that he is Not ALL THAT. If he Pulls Tight As Things such as This------What else will He pull? You are Seeing his True Colors----RED FLAGS.

[smashleyy]

People are not mind readers. Talk to him and tell him it bothered you

[annabananna]

Talk to him about it and tell him how it made you feel without being accusatory.

[villainfantasy]

Tell him to send money to buy a gift.

[Sasha0426]

Just break up with him already.

[cloud9vortex1234]

Whatever you want.

[aaron210419]

Pretty shallow

[ItalianKing02]

I don't know