Why did he keep staring at me on FaceTime?

[Maj92]

Okay so I’ve been talking to this guy out of state for a couple months now. We’ve never met in person and we mostly do only phone calls. We’ve FaceTimed once but it was at night and we could hardly see each other. So yesterday afternoon, he FaceTimed me, we talked a little bit and then I kept catching him just staring at me. Then I guess another call came in and he had to hang up. What does this mean? Did he admire what he saw or he was realizing that I’m not his type? I’m beginning to overthink. Help!

[WaterIsland]

There is a HUGE difference here between video calls and in person interactions.


When it comes to video calls, it’s impossible to “stare” at the other person. You are really staring at your screen or camera. Although it’s possible to have a connection with someone over video call, it truly isn’t quite the same as an in person interaction. There is still that digital barrier between your interactions.


It doesn’t mean video calls aren’t good. It’s just not the same as in person interactions. Tho probably the closest thing we have to in person interactions without meeting in person today.

[Maj92]

I don't know cuz he told me he loved me, wanted to get married and become a father to my kids and this was all over a phone call. I felt like he has fallen in deep without even meeting me first which I kind of find it a red flag but anywho..

What do you think was going through this mind? I don't know what to think because honestly he’s the most intense person I’ve ever met

[WaterIsland]

Umm. Wow. That is a lot. Yes that sounds like a MAJOR red flag. I personally don’t believe it’s possible to love someone without meeting in person. That is honestly creepy to me.

If I were in that situation, I’d cut things off. That situation doesn’t feel right to me, and I’d cut things off. The staring thing is irrelevant I feel like, but saying all of those things without meeting in person is a MAJOR red flag.

[Maj92]

Right , I was thinking the same. I’ve been going back and forth in my head about this for a while now. I want to cut things off but I don’t want him to flip out on me and do something crazy.

[WaterIsland]

I understand. I don’t really have any advice on that front sadly. Just recognize that waiting longer to cut things off, might lead to a larger reaction on his part.

If he doesn’t know that much about you, you could always just block him. And if he continues to contact you through other means, go to the police because that is harassment. And consider changing your phone number.

[Maj92]

Yea you’re right. Thanks!

[Zayed_]

Its a video call, where do you want him to look..

[Maj92]

Be for real. You don’t have to stare at someone intensely and not say anything…especially when driving. It can come across a bit creepy.

Yes I look at my phone while I’m talking to someone, but not when I’m quiet and just staring..

[In_Trance]

You lost me at "out of state"

[Maj92]

Yea I mean he lives in another state. Do you not believe in long distance relationships? What’s your thought process on it?

[In_Trance]

You're wasting your time