My fiance is telling me that if we get married and I get to a point where I consistently deny him sex or he has to negotiate for sex he will cheat?

[Anonymous]

We are currenlty celibate but we were talking about sex in marriage.. He said that he would cheat if we were to ever get to a point where he has to negotiate sex with me. I understand that sex is a huge deal for men and I would understand his need to have sex. However I was taken aback by him saying he would cheat if it were to happen.

Why is cheating an option? I told him thta if he ever feels like he is not being catered to his needs I would respect him more if he were to divorce but he doesn't believe in divorce. I also told him that cheating not only affects the relationship but it also affects the family, he knows how my dad's infidelity has affected me. so him saying this felt really insensitive. His repsonse was that I would never find out if he were to cheat. I am currently at a crossroads trying to figure out if I should continue being with him because why is he so confident I wouldn't find out and why would cheating be an option for him

[goaded]

Do you think you'll ever get to the point where he has to "negotiate sex with" you? Presumably you've already negotiated it down to zero before marriage.

This is a downside of no sex before marriage. On the other hand, as the old saying goes: "Women marry men hoping they will change, and men marry women hoping they won't. And each is inevitably disappointed." Maybe your relationship is the other way around.

I'm guessing you're both religious, with the celibacy and the no divorce position. Maybe try to think outside that.

[spartan55]

That's really fucked up for him to say that. I'd end it.

[HollyK21]

That’s terrible. There’s absolutely no excuse for cheating and the fact that he’s “warning” you it will happen if you don’t give him what he wants is just fcking sick. I would seriously question my relationship with someone willing to hurt the woman he loves and expect her to accept it.

[Anonymous]

He told you the truth about his willingness to cheat. What you do with this information is up to you.. at least you found out sooner rather than later.

[LazerBean]

Gross loser, immediate dump 👎🏻

[John_Doesnt]

Sounds fair. If your libidos don't match then you might need couples counseling or some alternative.

[ChefPapiChulo]

sounds like a horrible relationship.