He broke his vow to not have sex til marriage. Does that mean he really loves me?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is a super devout Muslim. He was raised in a Muslim household. He prays. He doesn’t smoke or drink. He was planning on waiting for marriage to have sex. His parents even tried setting him up for arranged marriages. He is very dedicated to his faith. I am not Muslim, and I wasn’t a virgin when we met. In fact, some of his family doesn’t like that we’re together because I am not a good Muslim woman. When we first met he and I were just really good friends. I never tried to make any sexual advances on him because I knew how strict he was about his faith. He’s the one who initiated sexual contact between us and it really surprised me because we weren’t even dating. We were actually just friends having sex for a while until we actually became a couple. Eventually I asked him why he broke his vow. He told me that I just made him feel safe and it felt right. Does this mean he really loves me.

[Friendly22]

I am a Muslim, and i will give you an honest opinion. First you have to understand the situation. In our religion we are not allowed to go on dating or have any relationship before marriage just because it always leads to sexual relationship and sex before marriage is extremely prohibited, infact it's one of the major sins. That's why in our religion we are advised to get married instead of dating or having relationship with out marriage.
Now a Muslim man who break vows and lead towards sex, there can be two possibilities. Either he is not a good man he just wants to fulfil his sexual needs, Or he is not strong in his faith.
A good man can also leads towards sex just because of human nature, but i will say a good Muslim will never do that whatever the situation may come.
As i m 28 years old and i am still virgin, as i m not married. So it doesn't mean that if i m not married i should have sex before marriage.
If you need any further help/opinion, just ask me, i will guide you as being a Muslim

[Asker]

I think he really is a good man. I know we started off wrong by having sex first, and I know Muslims don’t date, but I think he just really felt something for me. We’ve been together for 3 years and he’s been nothing but faithful, and he’s always talking about how he wants to marry me and that he will as soon as he’s financially able to provide me with a good life. Besides me, he’s a model Muslim. He prays every day, he doesn’t even like to be around the presence of pork, he stays away from drugs and alcohol and all that stuff. He says his family tried to arrange marriages for him with strangers and family friends, but he always rejected them because deep down he knew he wanted to marry someone he loved.

[Friendly22]

Sex is the biggest weakness, so i know different situations can lead to sex. And it can't be denied that if he had sex earlier he cannot be a good Muslim as well as human being. But now you have to clarify with him that whether he will be able to convince his parents for you or not. Because sometimes it's really hard for us to convince our parents.
Yes A good Muslim can be judged by his daily routine, as u judged well.
I have also gone through some same situation in my life. So i can understand and that's why i am asking you to clarify with him, whether he can convince his parents or not.
And have you become a Muslim now?

[Asker]

I have not become Muslim, and I have no intention on becoming Muslim. His parents and immediate family accept me, and they actually love me. His extended family are the ones that don’t like me, but they’ve never had the chance to meet me. They only know that I am not Muslim. I’m a good person and I make him happy, and his parents are ok with it. His mom is actually encouraging us to get married sooner.

[Friendly22]

If you are a Christian then it's okay, its allowed to marry a Christian woman. I would suggest if his mom is agreed, then do it quick and get married and lead a happy and peaceful life.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice

[CubsterShura]

@Asker three years and he didn't marry you yet? That's quite sketchy coming from a devout Muslim...

[Asker]

@CubsterShura He always talks about marriage. His parents have also been encouraging us to get married. He says he’s just waiting until he’s financially stable to provide for me and be a good husband. We’re both college students who still live with our parents. But he’s already been looking at rings with his mother. I really believe he has every intention to marry me, probably right after college.

[legalboxers]

the extended family is the issue.. not you

[DJB72]

You're not Muslim and he propositioned you sexually when you weren't dating?

he's not as devout as he wants you to believe.

I'm Christian and my ex and I were very sexually active. My wife and I were too before we got married.

It doesn't mean he's not devout, just beware of how he's portraying himself

[Masoomaa]

He does love you, a lot. Either that or he is not devout enough. I dated my friend and we agreed to not have sex until we marry. We are both religious but it got to a point where things were looking that way. Both of us respect our religion so we decided to call it off since he said it was hard for him not to want sex. Maybe I would consider dating and marriage again in about two years when I am almost done with my med school. However if your boyfriend does end up having sex with you instead of stopping himself, then that surely means he is really in love with you to the point of choosing you over his religious beliefs

[CubsterShura]

As a Muslim woman, I'm gonna say it just means that he was weak. I don't think it makes him a bad person, but it's a pretty big deal for Muslims.

Sex before marriage is called 'Zina' in Islamic term. Not only is Zina forbidden but also there's a verse in the Qur'an that says 'and do not get close to Zina' meaning don't even do things that might end up in having sex.

I've seen it firsthand how severe the consequences of such actions can be. It's almost unbelievable.

I hope your boyfriend can get back to how he's been instead of letting this ruin him further.

[Asker]

We’ve been happily together for 3 years and his immediate family approves of me. He is ruined now?

[CubsterShura]

No one's ever ruined. As long as you're breathing you already have the hope to improve yourself.

[Avicenna]

There is a very good possibility that he is just fooling around with you and will marry a Muslim woman.
No one can tell whether he loves you from what you posted, but if you can't tell that he does, then I'd assume he doesn't.

[reptocarl2]

Nope. It means he’s full of shit and his religion doesn’t mean a fucking thing to him

[ZombieP1ow]

Run away as fast as you can. Honor killings are a real thing

[Anonymous]

No he thinks your a slut worthy of 5 minutes of hard pumping but not to marry

[avirazza]

Can't say he can left you. If circumstances demands.

[Sensmind]

Yeah to me it sounds very positive

[Anonymous]

No
It means he really likes sex