My boyfriend lives 2 hours away from me but we still managed to meet every month but lately it has been so much and we couldn’t meet for 3 months. We have been together for a year and half, and since December he has not been the same. He says he’s depressed and complains a lot. I’ve tried to be there for him but he is getting worse towards me, he ignores my messages for hours, turned off his location and he asked for space for a week but later changed his mind. I asked him if he wants to break up he can do it now and he said he didn’t want to because he loves me but only needs time. He later started putting conditions in the relationship, said he doesn’t want to meet me until August because he’s traveling for two months because he wants his depression away and he said he hates talking on the phone and said he wants to talk ONCE a day but we can still chat (which he never does since he replies after hours) told him this is just the beginning of a failed relationship, he can’t put conditions like that out of the blue. He apologized for asking for space and he said he overreacted. I was on the call with him and he asked me if he could talk to mom, and he was happy about it. He told me that he felt better talking to her and he wants his mom talking to her next time (for marriage). Yeah so he’s hot and cold, one hour he’s fine and the other hour he’s depressed. I can’t seem to understand. Has anyone had experience with this kind of behavior?
Boyfriend depressed for months and has changed completely towards me?
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every relationship will go down hill if you can't even meet. you're completely right. this is how relationships fail. and tbh you can't do anything about that if he doesn't start to pull himself back up.
it's noble of you that you support him during his low time. but you can't pull him up out of his depression alone. he gotta learn how to swim himself. at the same time tho i think you should give him space. give him some time to figure his shit out. or else you might be like a magnet with the same pole trying to get closer. like give him some time for himsef but maybe before you do that, make sure he has a plan of self improvement for the time being. a depression "may" go away by itself but there's a lot of things he can and shoud do to help it along. i learned from different psychologists i follow on youtube that apparently the "least" ammount of contact you have to have to still be able to keep a relationship is roughly 2 hours of talk time a week, where you talk about your life and your goals, to make sure that your lifes are still somewhat connected and developing along each others paths. this is the only way you can avoid drifting apart too much. and this should not be a permanent solution but maybe this can be the way to fix it for the both of you.
this hot and cold thing is sort of worrying tho. you sure it's "just depression" or might he be bipolar?
Depression will cause drastic mood swings. this sound like it is a part of your life now. If you can not deal with it move on sooner than later. He needs to get with a counselor and his Family need to be involved. Good luck with this guy.
Why do you make him have his location on?
Why would you offer to let him break up? That's so stupid, if things are that bad what is stopping YOU from dumping him? Ugh...