Is it considered normal for a man to message once or twice a week? On a dating app?

[Anonymous]

Is he intrested if he doesn't ask any questions about you personally?

[SteveSmith1985]

Messaging you once or twice a week shows some level of interest for sure. I am really confused as to how he's not asking you questions about yourself. What else is there to talk about? (I'm actually kinda curious)

Not asking you questions about yourself is super weird. I don't even know what that would look like? He is just... giving you a monologue about his day? or what?

[Asker]

Thank you for your answer! He has asked about my weekend and thats it. I just thought on a dating app you should ask more questions about the actual person your trying to get to know lol but maybe I'm wrong 🤔 😅

[SteveSmith1985]

No... you're not wrong. My question is... what the heck is he saying the rest of the time? ALl there is to do is ask questions. He doesn't know you... unless he's just talking about him (a monologue)... then what... is he SAYING to you... a girl he knows nothing about... if it's not asking questions.

I am half laughing... and half concerned here. Because I cannot picture how this went down. But also, if the only question this guy has asked you AT ALL is how was your weekend... that's got horror-movie-vibes all over it? (not the question... but the fact that there was only one. Like trying to be normal. People ask questions in these situations. Better ask one... don't wanna look weird. "How was your weekend?")

Go with your gut here. If you feel like he might be a serial killer... he might be a serial killer. He's confusing the shit outta me at any rate.

[Asker]

He's answering my questions lol then I'm following up on my thoughts and ask him another question 😅

[Asker]

In the mean time his question for me to respond to is how's your weekend? 😆

[SteveSmith1985]

Oh.. ok then. In that case I might be able to give you a helpful answer. Maybe not, it depends.

So, I tend to be like you are. I tend to ask questions then follow it up with my thoughts and then ask more questions. Not just in a dating type situation, but in general. Countless times, someone I've talked to a fair bit will have this moment... where they realize... and they'll say something like:
"Shit, I'm so sorry, we always talk about me" Which is quite accurate.

But... in the process they DO actually get to know a whole lot about me. Because of my personality... I'm going to have lots to say about the answers you give me. You'll hear all about my thoughts and feelings about all kinds of shit. You'll prompt me to go into little stories or anecdotes about my own experiences in your responses to my questions. I'm taking those answers and actively commenting on them... with references to my own life and experiences... in a way that gives people a damn good sense of what I'm about and how I think/feel etc.

So, take a look at how YOU happen to be here. If you're anything like me, then this guy hasn't had to specifically ask you questions to find out things about you. You are volunteering those things as you comment on his answers (often giving your own answers to the same question you just asked him).

Don't worry about the lack of questions, as long as the lack of questions doesn't suggest a lack of interest in getting to know you. Is he getting to know you? Even though he's not specifically asking questions? He might be. Depends on your conversation style.

[Asker]

Thank you!! You helped me understand somethings. Thank you for your response it helped!!

[SteveSmith1985]

I'm so glad to hear that! I figured it out as part of talking through... just why I WAS actually just fine "always talking about them." Because... that's not really actually how things are... even though on the surface it DOES appear that way. Thanks for letting me know it helped. That's always nice to hear. Good luck 🙂