Why do some men live in this twisted reality world where they think we want men that show NO emotions?

Question

itsalyssaagain · Accepted Answer

A lot of men are liars and they’ll fake their emotions and their entire persona just to get you to be with them. I said what I said and ain’t nobody gonna change my mind. It’s happened wayyyy too much to me I’m a pro now lol.

KaiidiraX · Accepted Answer

That is how many men are raised or have been.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

They've consistently seen women punish men for expressing emotions online, so I guess they figure women feel the same way in real life.

Investigator · Answer

The issue is not that men don't show emotions, the problem is that women commonly don't understand what "men showing emotions" looks like. The psychological literature is clear: men and women don't communicate the same way. Men tend to be goal-oriented and women tend to be people-oriented. If the point of talking is "solution optimization", then communication becomes a proxy for "what are the steps to get this done?", rather than "this thing happened to me, can you believe it?", which takes the form of "sharing experiences".

There's nothing inherently wrong with either form of communication and venting is cathartic, but "objective-oriented thinking" benefits from an-built inclination towards problem solving, where "reliving a moment in one's life" does not. In order for communication to produce a positive outcome, lessons have to be learned. Without a roadmap, there is only confusion and struggle, but no growth.

DaveJord · Answer

Hummmm... I always find this question thought provoking. I mean the fact that you have to ask or state it this way tells me that you honestly don't understand men, you just want them to be more like you.

Women say they want men to show more emotions, which is to men like saying you want a man to be more like a woman. Why this need to project what you think a man should be on to men, instead of just accepting them and loving them for who and what they are?

That all you really want from a man right? To accept you and love you for who you are?

Maybe it's not the men not showing emotion that is the problem, maybe women are just more emotional than they should be?

But of course we all know that true men and woman have the X and Y chronozones, and that they produce their own estrogen and testosterone naturally within their own bodies without any need for external science. We know this and we accept these biological differences as scientific fact.

We also accept the scientific fact that testosterone and estrogen have different physical and emotional effects on people. So why is it a woman should think;

"Why do some men live in this twisted reality world where they think we want men that show NO emotions?"

Simple answer is because we don't produce estrogen at the same level or rate as woman... we don't live in a twisted world... the simple fact is that men are men and women are women and we all know and accept that on some level as a fact.

Have you ever been with a man that mirrored our same exact emotional state right back at you? I bet you lost your shit... most woman that says they want men to be more emotional, often say that until they find one. Then the woman starts think, OMG, this guy is such a biatch!!!

Anonymous · Answer

The reasons are quite simple:

many guys have had the unsavory experience of being rejected and friendzoned for showing their emotions especially “weakness” emotions (fear, insecurity, etc.). The friéndzone in particular is a direct insult to man’s masculinity. A deeper insult than most women will ever realize. And women often do this to sensitive men.
men see less emotional men usually having more success with women.

Women are okay with men showing emotions only in the “right” moment. But real ugly truth is if a man shows too much of his emotions the woman will often subconsciously (or even consciously) just see him as relatable as another woman vs. a real man. She will feel relief from the relatability but not sexual attraction.

Being considered masculine, attractive and above all respected to women is like a leg to a table for what men really need.

Being a natural sensitive guy myself I once unfortunately bought the horrible lie that women like it when guys show their emotions when I was younger. It only took a few brutal friendzones to discover the heinous ugly truth on that.

I always had my emotions under control with every women who I dated and stayed with me for the long term. At least to the extent I was less emotional than them.

David_Jelly · Answer

Because men and boys (all of us) are raised since around the age of 5 years old to repress every single negative emotion. we are told to by everyone: media family, friends, authority figures in our lives. Society as a whole. Personally, the #1 group who told me to do this was teachers. Despite being lucky enough to have parents who usually encouraged me to share my emotions, I like all men still was programmed to repress everything. (As far as I can tell, most boys don’t realize that they do this. I didn’t until I got a girlfriend at 16 who was loving and told me about how to share and what venting was). Even if it’s not directed at us personally, we here people (which includes but is not limited to women) talk about how a man was weak because he got teary or sad, and hearing that throughout our lives has an incredible effect. So it’s not a twisted reality, it is reality. Though I am glad that you can recognize this as something that happens and not just “the way men are.” Also, despite hostile undertones, it seems that you don’t agree with this, which means that you will hopefully be a loving partner to a man (if you like men) if you aren’t already, so thank you. But please do understand that men

A) Don’t want to do this
B) May not realize that they do this
C) Can only stop doing this if they have someone in their lives (parents don’t count in my opinion, because I think that despite good intentions are incapable of preventing this from happening to a boy) who repeatedly shows them that they not only want to hear his emotions, but will respect those emotions, and keep them private. Worst way to ruin the possibility of having that kind of relationship with a man is if you tell someone what he told you.

smashleyy · Answer

Mixture of childhood and dealing with emotionally immature women later on in life (although their childhood wounds is probably what attracts those types of women). Having neglectful or explosive parents can cause it. Being ignored/shot down or it blowing up in their face when they attempted to be vulnerable at a young age subconsciously teaches to bury and keep emotions to themselves. I don’t think it’s a issue just men struggle with though. It just looks slightly different on man and women.

inhua · Answer

did you see the reaction and vitriol towards Jordan Peterson when he was on the Piers Morgan Uncensored interview?

women and liberal men were dogpiling him and calling him a crybaby, whiner, incel, loser etc. because he had the audacity to show a human side to him

only mothers can accept their sons crying because mothers are obligated to love their sons unconditionally. wives and girlfriends are not obligated to love their husbands and boyfriends. sisters and daughters are not obligated to love their brothers and fathers. a crying man is seen as weak and easily exploitable

TruthBringer · Answer

Geez, I don't know. Maybe because it's not much of a "twisted reality"? You're not living the reality of a man. It's universally men's experience that showing emotions has led to rejection and hurt. Why do you think the "women go for assholes/badboy" stereotype exist? Just because don't resonate with it, doesn't mean it doesn't apply to many other women out there.

AaronKrieger · Answer

Well you don't for the most part when it comes to negative emotions, but I also do not blame you (keyword there is "negative"). I have cried in front of one of my past partners and she actually appreciated it quite a lot at the time (I think she felt like it showed I cared). However, I do not think that would remain if it were a common occurence.

Men do need to control their emotions and remain at a certain level of stoicism. This really goes for people in general, but especially men. I think when you get guys who don't do that, then you get the incels, school shooters, and whatever type of guy that cannot control their emotions (anger specifically). This does not mean men cannot cry or have any release of a negative emotion, but do not abuse it.

Leapfrog00 · Answer

Because guys are stupid, lol. Well, I mean some guys live in this old fashioned "Guys don't cry" type of reality and they think if a girl sees them cry, then they will think the guy is weak.

I learned along time ago that girls actually get upset when guys don't open up. I've had girls start fights with me because of it.

Honestly, I'm just not good at opening up, not because of that though, I could care less about anyone seeing my emotions, but because I grew up in an abusive home and I fear if I trust anyone, they're going to betray me.

I've had girls try to get me to open up before. Maybe if I find a girl one day that will actually care enough about me to listen to my feelings, maybe I will

stepyo99 · Answer

I think you've got things twisted.

Reality is that men very often show emotions differently than women.

Nobody wants to be around a guy who blubbers like a woman over every little thing either. It's not masculine. And you can say that's just because of the "patriarchy" or because of "social pressures" or "toxic masculinity" but so what? The only reason you even question it is because of the current zeitgeist that all of our cultural norms have to be questioned and analyzed. In another time, it would have been self-evident why men shouldn't behave like women.

Anpu23 · Answer

Why do we live in this twisted world where women have an expectation that guys emote in the way that they do?

Guys emote, but not in the way that you do.

I am not broken.

On Men’s emotions and toxic masculinity part 2:

Men's Emotions And Toxic Masculinity

This idea that guys need to open up, is just a matter of Femsplaining the male experience.

msmissydc · Answer

Oh it goes even further than that. The same men then complain that they can't get women to like them, even though they did what men told them girls like. While most women told them its not true, most of us dont like that. If you have a men that gives advice on women but is hated by many women: Its not good advice!

But what am I talking here? There is going to be a man explaining to other men that what I tell here is not true and women actually like something different.

king34 · Answer

That is reality. women see it as weakness they lose respect for emotional men it's a literal fact don't care what you think or say, if you say other wise your either just trying to be funny or shocking, or you are just that ignorant and blind to the world around you that you aren't worth talking to regardless. Also men that are stoic don't just act that way for women, the world doesn't revolve around you. stoicism is an important male trait we tend to have naturally from one degree to another depending on the man for many reasons such as survival calm decision making, protection etc. Its a way of life thats important for men. And you want guys to go against that to please your insecurities so you can feel some kind of power over him lol or maybe you genuinely do want a man that you have to be a mother to if that is the case, that is you and just you not 99% of women.

Anonymous · Answer

We are different to you and we live in a different world as well. 'Showing emotions' does not benefit us in any way, shape or form, it does not help as in our daily lives, and it can place us in danger. This is part of why we aren't as emotional, it serves little purpose. And it's very clear what most women are attracted to... men. And also note that our testosterone means we even have less ability to cry, among other things. Go place a stoic, masculine man that is fit and healthy in a room full of women and then place a man that 'shows his emotions' and see which one most women pick.

Kaneki05 · Answer

You call them dumb because they don't open up. All that makes us think is wow what insults is she gonna throw at us when we are honest about things that make us upset will she also call them dumb?
Probably so.

It's not just men who encourage this idea of no emotions, it's also highly based on how women have reacted to them why they've tried to be honest. So here's a mirror.

lightbulb27 · Answer

because their training is that when they express emotions they are abused for it a lot or rejected. it's more about appropriate emotion and being vulnerable... so the woman has emotional input/control. men have to learn/re-learn to do that sometimes.

Anonymous · Answer

Because for some reason, men say “women do no like this” and “women like this” and other men listen to that instead of listening to advice from women.

”dont ask a fish how to catch fish, ask a fisherman”.

that’s the dumbest thing i have ever heard. It assumes you have to bait and trap women.

another one i find funny is “women like men who are talking/sleeping with multiple women because they find it impressive”. Yea im sure a girl thinks to herself “the guy im dating is also sleeping with 10 other women, that’s so hot”.

Thatpearl26 · Answer

Honestly I don’t think men believe women want them to have no emotions. However I am not a man nor will I ever be one.

From my experience and deep talks with men I have known. It’s more of they don’t want to feel weak in front of others. Or made fun of.

The fear of being ridiculed because of their feelings is something that both genders are scared of.

MissTinaP · Answer

I don't know really cause I've been with both sides of the spectrum, the super emotional and the emotionless. The emotional one cried more often during movies and shows than I did, and the other was a military guy.

I mean, I guess I kinda understood why the military one was a bit over the top, but saying that he showed no emotions almost felt like I was snuggling up to sandpaper. I just don't have luck finding average guys.

Lionman95 · Answer

Because some of these guys made experiences that let them to this. Dating nowadays is complex because it seems like there are no general statements possible anymore where one could say: "Men want/look for..." or "Women want/look for..." It rather depends on the social group and the individual person.
So some guys might come to the conclusion that women don´t like it when they show their emotions towards them.

Lliam · Answer

Emotionally available isn't the same as being an emotional sap.

Why would anyone be attracted to someone who is emotionally closed off? Women don't want a robot or someone who is cold and lacks empathy.

It's not a sign of weakness for a strong, confident, masculine man to be tender and honest without being a woosie about it.

Anonymous · Answer

Why do women have this fucked up mentality where they believe that men have to show emotions the way they do?

Men are built differently. We don’t show emotions the same way. That doesn’t make us wrong and it doesn’t make us bad. We’re not hiding them. we’re not keeping them from you.
We simply deal with them internally and by ourselves, and when we do need help, we reach out to male friends who understand us and don’t shamus for things they don’t like or understand.

Women need to learn that things don’t always have to be the way they see it.

2 year olds and monkeys have this same mentality, which is why they can’t hide something from you. They believe that if they know about something, you must think the same way. They can’t grasp the concept that other things don’t think how they think.

sheenagwapa · Answer

my ex would cry but not always... once in a while he would cry and every time he does that i would feel like a criminal because i was a bitch girlfriend i wpuld always break up but that was durinh early on the relationship... i have not really come across a man who cries all the time. i do have experienced my father cryinh all the time and it's because of severe anxiety which is understandable. mental illness is very cruel

magiusX26 · Answer

because contrary to what women say on the subject, your actions scream that showing emotions is not what you want. many times you all do not even notice your actions contradicting your words on this but at least 90% of the time you are contradicting what you say you want in this area if relationships.

Anonymous · Answer

Because they feel like showing emotion will make them look weak when it infact doesn't.

Anonymous · Answer

No hun you got it twisted. Guys know you women want men with emotions. But we know you want the emotions you want when you want them and ONLY then. Which is why smart guys learn to go dead inside an be completely devoid of emotion and just feign whatever emotion we think you want at the time.

strateguy632 · Answer

where did u get that impression? some families discouraged boys from crying "stop being mary" reference peter pan book, not due to what they think women pink want. your question is like "why is the sky always green". not! your question also not.

TheThingALing · Answer

Okay so two things, one it's a problem if they're showing too much emotion and two it creates a situation or the girl can learn his vulnerabilities and possibly use them against him

Summeroflove · Answer

Because there is some women who are like that…. I need a woman whose nurturing. Men love nurturing women. But some men have been hurt by bad women so it makes it hard to show emotions

Haha456 · Answer

its rather dumb that they actually believe that women think men are incapable of emotions. Unless she is a child, every grown woman will know men have emotions just like women.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

Agreed, but we also don't have as many emotional responses as women do.  How does XYZ make me feel? Sometimes the answer is "nothing."

RavVid · Answer

Limiting this to bad emotions rather than positive emotions... Because women say they don't respect men that do break down/cry etc. The evidence is pretty clear on that.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Probably because all the men with no emotions have women on their arms and the emotional dudes are becoming trans.

genericname85 · Answer

In the world that we live in where men that do are left by their girlfriend/wife when they do. Don't gaslight men into denying. reality you can choose to live in delusion but don't make men do it as well

EpicSnail · Answer

I've just noticed that the less neurotic a guy is, the more women like him. Probably why psychopaths are so attractive to women. Also have so much personal experience of being rejected by women for being emotionally weak.

trick1492 · Answer

It's not that we think you don't want us to show emotion. It's that he think other guys will judge us if we show emotion. That's how men have been thought for years to think.

TooHot2Care · Answer

Well the first thing you did instead of understanding where the guys are coming from in closing themselves off is insult us preemptively. So, since you’re smarter than everyone : figure it out.

DarkWinterNights · Answer

Because we’ve seen it our entire lives in media, online and in person that when a man show’s vulnerability, his wife or girlfriend loses respect for him.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

Not sure, why do some women live in the same twisted reality and create emotional mountains out of molehills? Exactly like you said: DUMB

hbg84 · Answer

Its because when we do open up and share our emotions and what's bothering us women immediately view us as weak. They either friendzone us or break things off.

It happens all the time. Then you ggp and make fun of us with your girlfriends.

Redstang88 · Answer

Because for many of us when we do find a girl we trust enough to open up and be a little vulnerable, we get taken advantage of and burned for it

rosemilk · Answer

it's how the boomers brought them up, unfortunately.

Filthy_Immigrant · Answer

Because your actions speaks louder than words. The only time you women want us to have emotions is whenever you feel like controlling us

LiamJHayden · Answer

Not sure. I do know that men often express emotions differently than women and that many women expect the same type or expression so that could be part of it.

Juxtapose · Answer

Well a typical woman will usually want a man to not display weakness unless she feels like it so the best man for her in that case is a sociopath who is a very effective chameleon

Guanfei · Answer

Oh but you do want men to show emotions. To use it as a weapon against them later. And as an excuse to cheat and leave them because they look weak.

Sharkstealth · Answer

I think women destroyed any emotions that I had left.

Venymal · Answer

Men are taught that women like the strong, silent type.

Fuentes · Answer

Why do women think we should show emotions? That's so gross

msc545 · Answer

I'm really tired of people being concerned only with "what women want".

Chthou95 · Answer

Do you want to date a guy who cries or gets too emotional and can't handle problems?

Anonymous · Answer

A large amount of women hate men showing emotions. My pet bummy died so I had teary eyes , my then girlfriends made fun out of it.

Anonymous · Answer

Because of the lies many supposed "alpha males" are telling them. They should listen to the women when they say what they want.

Anonymous · Answer

because they just want sex, money and fame for his whole life

RingOfFire · Answer

You don't? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anonymous · Answer

Id wonder if they aren't in denial.

Agape93 · Answer

No idea

Anonymous · Answer

Yea thats scary

DextroShade · Answer

So you want a guy who cries?

Why do some men live in this twisted reality world where they think we want men that show NO emotions?

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