I told my crush I am single now and he replied with: I didn’t even know you were with somebody. He knew but why is he pretending he didn’t?

[Anonymous]

I mentioned my ex in front of him and his friends thinking he will get the idea of “ I am seeing someone else and nothing is happening between us”. I was giving him attention but I was told that I am too cold. Still… I wonder why pretending he didn’t know.

Updates

11 mo

On top of that he opens every single story I post and reacts to some of them with a like or some short message. We send each other memes or videos but that’s it. I don’t know if he is loosing interest or I am too available for him.

Updates

11 mo

I see a lot of you saying that I should tell him that I like him. How should I do it if we are just messaging each other and won’t meet for a few more months. Just send him a text: oh by the way, I like you!

[Adam1978]

Just stop beating around the bush and be clear by asking him out. If he says no you can move on. Otherwise you have a chance to get it to work. All this pushing and probing to get him to do it, is probably more annoying for him then benefiting for you.

[Asker]

He always agrees if I ask him to join me for dinner or walk… but I don’t know if it’s because he has nothing else to do or because he is being friendly colleague.

[Adam1978]

That isn't a clear date. Make sure he knows it's a date. And not a lunch at work.

[Messianic_Monk]

I see a couple of reasons:

1) he likes you but is showing you that he does not care about your social life, to show that he doesn't need you and to make you chase him

2) he doesn't like you and wasn't even thinking about your social life

3) he legitimately didn't know and either doesn't care, or was happy to know it

4) he may or may not know, but has no idea that you are signaling to him.

[Grond21]

This is a classic case of a girl thinking she is signaling to a guy when he has no idea. I bet he likes you and has not picked up on any of your signals. Be brave and actually say something

[Asker]

I don’t know what to say and how when he doesn’t reply to my messages straight away and waits for hours. It used to be 20-30 min and now it can take hours. Maybe he is showing me he has no interest and I am not getting it. We are about to meet again in a few months because we don’t live in the same city but there is a great potential I will have to move to where he lives because of work.

[spartan55]

@asker
Don't use messaging to tell him important stuff. I can't emphasize this enough. Your fear of rejection is really limiting you.

[Asker]

@spartan55 then wait until we meet?

[spartan55]

You absolutely have a better chance that way.

[Grond21]

I'm not sure about the advice of not telling him important stuff. But I absolutely agree that you should take the chance when you meet. Don't take the chance to signal him, take the chance by outright telling him.

[Asker]

I think he is loosing interest because he doesn’t know I like him. I thought he knows because I talk to him more than I talk to other people and when we worked together he will always stay with me until very late. Actually reading my comment … he was showing me interest and I didn’t. Ok then another question: if he thinks I don’t like him how can I revert things back to how it was in case he is moving on now?

[Asker]

But also I couldn’t show how I feel about him out of respect to my boyfriend at the time.

[Grond21]

Are you dating now?

[Asker]

Nope

[Grond21]

You are playing my games with yourself and him. Stop trying to figure out what he feels like from clues that are not enough. Just tell him what you feel and take the risk. There is no secret sauce that I'll tell you what is in a man's heart and only the girl who can unlock it will be able to find out.

[nolabels]

My guess is that he might be shy, and he said he didn't know just because he was flustered in the moment (I've been there).

Tell him you like him.

[spartan55]

What are you talking about mentioning your ex to him and his friends? I thought you said you broke up? Your post is very confusing.

[spartan55]

How can you be able too available for him when you won't even tell him you like him?

[Asker]

Isn’t it obvious that I do like him? I am keeping him posted on what is going on and I don’t share with him my problems as I do with my guy friends so that he doesn’t think he is friend-zoned or something. Maybe I am wrong, that’s why I am here.

[spartan55]

How would it be obvious? You are outsmarting yourself trying to act like you aren't interested.

[Asker]

Because he has this hot and cold behaviour which turned into just cold since we don’t see each other. I was supposed to travel and meet with him but then plans changed and now I sense mainly the cold behaviour… I really am super scared of rejection and I was sure he likes me but now a few months later I don’t know. And I am the older one. He is 3 years younger than me.

[spartan55]

Maybe he cooled because you weren't showing interest. Why are you so afraid of rejection. It's not the end of the world.

[strateguy632]

to show that he not interested even when you available

[Asker]

I am willing to agree with you. I thought guys don’t spend time communicating with someone they don’t like but maybe I am wrong. Usually women do that and we still don’t care.

[Anonymous]

How many times do we have to tell girls, GUYS DON'T TAKE HINTS. Be up front about it.

[Asker]

It’s scary. I am afraid he will say that he has been friendly and I am taking it too seriously even if I am not the only one who sense there is something more. Because when I say something strong, he goes a bit nuts about it and his responses are harsh.

[boggboss]

Because he was trying to play it cool the same way u haven't told him u like him

[KrakenAttackin]

He probably assumes you are just getting run through.

[robocop666]

denial. he is trying to cover up that he likes you.

[Asker]

What if he knows already and he is being hit and cold to simply make me not have this conversation with him? Or this is a girl behaviour not guy behaviour?

[Vikkrram]

Ma'am have u ever told him that you liked him?

[Asker]

Nooo that’s embarrassing. I can’t

[Vikkrram]

Ma'am so how would you expect him to know that you have feelings for him?

[Asker]

I want to be sure he likes me first

[Vikkrram]

How can you be sure that he would likes you?

[Asker]

I message him almost every day

[Vikkrram]

Ma'am can i tell you mine story if you would allow me?

[Vikkrram]

It is regarding your one also

[Asker]

Yes please

[Vikkrram]

Look ma'am there's a girl in mine apartment so she and i always use to look at each other whenever we get the chance to meet. Like you know eyes do the talking. She is younger than me. So it went for 3 years like this.

But many time i thought i was rude wid her , so one fine day i suddenly messaged her on social media that look i apologized if i ever did wrong wid you. She was asking why i was doing.
But ma'am for my inner gulit i apologized and i said that don't worry i won't message you again here and i won't disturb you. Now if you wanna block me then you can.

Ma'am i know my friends telling that i am a creep , fool and i don't have respect for me but ma'am i did for my inner gulit.

I don't know what she would think of me but i did that.

I know ma'am all you would judge me..

[Asker]

I think you did the right thing. As a woman I would appreciate it even if I don’t understand why are you apologising at that moment.

[Vikkrram]

Ma'am now i don't wanna face her anymore so what i do is i just try my best to not to come in front of her and same she does.

[Jltakk]

Just tell him. Guys aren't complicated.

[In_Trance]

Ask him why