Was he saying that he only rejected me because of us wanting different things?

[Anonymous]

When he rejected he said these things ” for that reason” and ”because of that” I decided to breakup.

Was he emphasizing that the reason he gave was the only reason he broke up with me and was telling the truth?

[DaveJord]

Hard to say honestly. I mean sometimes it is as simple as that... these are the reasons and I just don't think it will work out, or that it's not meant to be.

But then that kind of messes with your brain, because then you start rethinking everything... I mean she kind of knew all those things about me when we started dating. So, its kind of hard to just accept these reasons, after weeks of chatting and dating.

So, then you start thinking, maybe he's is just saying these things to be nice now. But if he really cared about me and it meant something, then one would think you could work it out together.

it's at this point in time, that when I got to tell myself to just let it go. Sometimes people do things, and I have no idea why they do them. There's no explaining it, but there is no need to mind fuck myself over it.

[Asker]

Do you that he was emphasizing that it wasn’t about my looks?

[kylee2437]

Perfectly said! And if he was to stick around - it’s forcing a connection which hurts in the long run

[DaveJord]

@kylee2437 100% I agree... I usually tell myself that same thing. Best that they did this now, instead of stringing me along for a few more weeks or months.

[DaveJord]

I have no idea; I can't answer that question. I have no point of reference.

[bernhardh]

Is it not mothers who withold validation to the level if it being criminal neglect?

[Anonymous]

Honey, how long are you going to dwell on this? I know you are hurting, but come on, you know this does not help. It’s not closure because no matter what anyone says you aren’t ready for it to be over. It’s time to accept what is and let it go. This is so bad for you.

[Asker]

You really didn’t answer my question

[Opinion Owner]

How many times must it be answered? Being honest I don’t think you want any help. You don’t want to move on.

[Opinion Owner]

We had this whole discussion about if he was honest and all that, you discussed with others as well. Still, you ask this again. I don't know what you want at this point.

[Asker]

I don’t remember what you answered. So you thought he was honest?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, I told you I thought he was honest and that there may not have been one specific thing. He said in general, that means it doesn’t have to be one thing. What more will make you feel better?

[Asker]

He said our goals just in general level don’t align what ever that meant

[spartan55]

@asker
Yeah, his goal is to be with someone he is attracted to.

[Opinion Owner]

I must agree with Spartan on this one, he just wasn’t into you. Sorry this is a hurtful situation but you’ve got to move on. It’s pointless posting here when you won’t take any of our feedback.

[Opinion Owner]

Also, he never ever called you ugly or even insinuated that you were, you just take it that way because you were talking previously then he ended things after the date. Like I said, you just weren’t compatible in person and that happens. You should work on your self esteem.

[kylee2437]

Why not accept the reason he gave? Wanting two different things should be enough for you to even walk away. What kind of happiness would you have with someone that doesn’t want the same as you?

[Asker]

He said after the first date that’s why I was wondering

[Asker]

Do you that he was emphasizing that it wasn’t about my looks?

[kylee2437]

Same thing still applies. You aren’t supposed to be falling in love with people after the first date anyways. He was honest with you and you should respect that.

[Asker]

How do you know he was honest?

[kylee2437]

Because he told you flat out he wasn’t feeling the situation and in my book that’s honesty. You trying to find other reason instead of just accepting is insecurity- that’s not his problem

[Asker]

He said it was because of different life goals he didn’t say anything about chemistry or not being attracted to me. That’s why I asked this question

[kylee2437]

It could be anything - it’s better not to dwell and just move forward. He’s not the only person in the world. You shouldn’t be going on first dates expecting a full blown relationship to happen anyways

[Asker]

His choice of words just were interesting and that he sent long paragraph when he didn’t need to..

[kylee2437]

@asker you need to take a step back from dating it seems like. You take things too personally and that right there is super unattractive in itself. He is not the problem. He took you on a date and wasn’t feeling it. It is what it is.

[Asker]

So he just gave me excuse , is that what you’re saying?

[Asker]

How not to take things personally when he thought I’m ugly?

[kylee2437]

Jesus Christ. Just stop dating.

[Asker]

One last question. At the end of the date he walked me to my car after I jokingly said to him are you walking me to my car after we headed to same direction. Why if he wasn’t interested in me?

[kylee2437]

Erm this makes it so hard for men to just be gentlemen. He was being nice and he was making sure you got safely to your car. That’s called being a man.