I like him a lot but he talks about comics/marvel for 40 mins help? is this a red flag?

[kareenakapur]

I have talked to this guy for 3 weeks. he goes on longgg stories. today he talked to me about marvel movies and comics for 40 mins. I did not ask him about it but he continued to tell me every piece and random story he liked. even sent me vids to watch. Is this normal is he just excited to talk to me or is this a red flag?

Updates

+1 y

I dont mind talking about passions 15-20 mins but it was going on for almost an hour. And i hadn't said a word trying to follow. I was really interested first 20 mins he was so passionate was cute but then i got conf where this story was even going or when itd end

[provokeesmokee]

He's just bad at conversation. Most men are.

Were you passive? That won't help you.

Also, if you're not following, interrupt. Say "hey, I love how passionate you are about this comic stuff; I'm not familiar with it, so you mentioned 'Clark Kent' - who was that again?".

Question when you're not sure, and if you genuinely like him, take an interest in his interests.

Segway from his interests to yours when you find a bridge. Maybe a character or activity is similar to a passion of yours. Use that as a jump off point to turn the conversation to something you can enjoy as well.

Otherwise, cut your losses.
You deserve a boyfriend with active listening skills and the ability to converse. Unless you really love this guy, there's no reason to take on the task of teaching him how to hold a conversation.

[kareenakapur]

i try to add commentary but then at some point he went into a rabbit hole. i had no idea what he was talking about. i really like him this is the second time he went through a rabbit hole. just conf why he wanted to tell me everything about marvel.

[provokeesmokee]

It's the only thing he knows how to infodump about, and he doesn't know how to shut up and listen, or how to hold an engaging convo.

Some folks just simply lack that skill.

He can develop it with practice, but you're under no obligation to be the one to teach him.

[PrincessBunBuns]

not a red flag in my opinion.


did you like hearing him talk? if you did, great. if not, chances are you dont like him.

[kareenakapur]

i liked it for the first 20 mins was cute how excited he got. after that i was like sir pls stop. I had no idea what he was talking about. when he got into the philosophy i was like um no.

[236color]

The other folks here are right in saying it's not a red flag. Have you considered there are probably some things you're very interested in that probably don't do much for him. Part of a relationship is indulging the other's interests a bit, and allowing them some space to participate in their interests alone when you've had all you can comfortably take.

[kareenakapur]

yess im fine with that 20 mins. 45 was excessive and like he just was telling me each and every plot/scene and the philosophy behind them. i was just confused. I like him a lot. but like it was too much but i like him too much to hurt his feelings. that just means he's really excited right? why would he want to tell me 45 mins of marvel comics

[Fireguy17]

I would think it is, unless you are really into that.
Let him know, or try to direct the conversation else where.
If it keeps coming back to that, then you have a decision to make, or talk to him about it and see if that helps.
Otherwise it might continue, and that will be your
life, until they come out with a new character.

[SnowedIn]

It's not a red flag.

It may something you don't like or a reason, if this happened on a second date, to consider no longer dating him. Like, if he has no conversation skills other than comics and marvel, that's a communication issue but not a red flag.

[kareenakapur]

he talks other stuff for sure. He's told me he likes marvel and superheros comics. I was like ok cool. He told me the plot of his favorite movie that's ok. But then went on a rabbit hole about the philosophy of comics and each individual scene he liked. It just was too too much. I was so bored. But like does he just not know how to talk or is he just really excited and wants me to know everything

[SnowedIn]

Yeah, I'm sorry. That sounds honestly like a drag.

Again, not a red flag in my opinion but def a reason for not another date.

[MementoMori777]

It's not a red flag, he's just really into this stuff, that doesn't mean you don't have the rights be bothered by it tho lol

[Blueeyes81]

Haha. This is what men deal with all the time. He's passionate about it. If he does it again just tell him you aren't a huge fan of marvel. He probably will still talk about it but maybe not so in depth.

[kareenakapur]

i told him I've never watched and he's like we can watch together I'm so excited to show u. that was so cuteee. but like ill watch it but i dont want to hear each and every scene of a comic u like. do u get my vibe.

[spartan55]

Is it a flag 🚩 flag for you to have interests you like to discuss? You are coming off very selfish.

[kareenakapur]

nooo but like 20 mins sure 45 mins was too much and it was just him talking not asking me about it or anything. i would try to chime in but was hard.

[TheSpaceGnome]

If you aren't into the same stuff, don't waste his time, just leave.

[kareenakapur]

we both like to fuck. thats the same stuff right ugh i like him. i just dont like marvel. he knows. i told him i haven't watched it but ill watch it with him. i just dont want to get into the philosophy and the big ideas underlying it all. its too much for me.

[TheSpaceGnome]

No, thats not "the same stuff"

It's not going to work out.

[hardboiledink]

LOL he's a super geek. Yes it's a somewhat red flag that he needs to get out more!

[DarkWinterNights]

More of a yellow flag lol.

[EaterPeter]

He sounds like evidence gamer and yes you can take it as red flag

[EaterPeter]

Avid

[Sabretooth]

It's not. I'm sure you still have your own childhood likes.

[Astarlessnightsky]

Seems like he is really passionate about it.

[kareenakapur]

and he was just excited right to tell me about it?