Feeling distant and frustrated. Should I just end it with him?

[Anonymous]

He said that he wants to get married. We wear matching rings but something's been off lately. He went on a 3 week vacation (I don't have the funds or childcare help to travel and he didn't want the hassle of traveling with 2 toddlers) and things haven't been the same. Now he always claims to be so busy with work. I never hear from him until evening or bedtime. I've only seen him twice since he has been back and it was only for sex once the kids were asleep. We're supposed to be moving in together in October when my lease is up. When I've asked him if we're still doing this, he says that it's too far in the future and to not worry about it. Instead he talked about his next exciting trip in August and October. I'm feeling resentful and frustrated. He has the freedom to travel and doesn't seem to realize that I wish that I could live that lifestyle too but the reality is that I have young children. I struggle enough with finding reliable and affordable babysitters so that I can work. If he'd rather be with someone childless, okay but if that's the case just end things with me. I've asked if he wants to break up and he said no. I just don't get why he acts like this then. Part of me wants to break up with him because I feel like maybe he's seeing someone else and just stringing me along for whatever reason.

[Oliverlogan263]

It does sound like this relationship has run its course. Here are my thoughts:

1. His lack of communication and disinterest in your life/schedule shows a lack of care and commitment. A good partner would be eager to spend time with you and help however they can.

2. The fact that he wants to get married but can't even commit to living together in a few months is concerning. It suggests he doesn't actually have the follow-through to build a life with you.

3. His focus on traveling and living a free lifestyle, without consideration for your needs as a parent, indicates differing priorities and values. You want different things.

4. His vague, dismissive answers when you ask direct questions are signs of avoidance and a lack of honesty. He should be able to clearly communicate his intentions if he truly wants a future with you.

5. His lack of presence in your life, even when he's physically back, suggests an emotional distance that will be hard to bridge. Relationships require effort from both sides.

6. Trust your intuition. The fact that you suspect he may be seeing someone else is a red flag, even if unfounded. A healthy partner instills trust, not doubt.

All of this points to one conclusion: while he may enjoy certain parts of your relationship, he does not prioritize you or your needs in the way a life partner should. It is unlikely this dynamic will change.

My advice would be to end things for your own peace of mind. You deserve a partner who eagerly makes time for you, demonstrates care and consideration, and wants to build a genuine future together. This current situation leaves you feeling frustrated and resentful - it's unsustainable. Moving on can open the door for you to find true compatibility and reciprocity with someone else.

I know ending a relationship is never easy. But trust that you'll feel a weight lift once you let go of someone who can't truly meet you where you're at. I wish you all the best moving forward.

[Anonymous]

If there are dealbreakers then break up.

[Anonymous]

The guy who said "

It does sound like this relationship has run its course. Here are my thoughts:

1. His lack of communication and disinterest in your life/schedule shows a lack of care and commitment. A good partner would be eager to spend time with you and help however they can.

2. The fact that he wants to get married but can't even commit to living together in a few months is concerning. It suggests he doesn't actually have the follow-through to build a life with you.

3. His focus on traveling and living a free lifestyle, without consideration for your needs as a parent, indicates differing priorities and values. You want different things.

4. His vague, dismissive answers when you ask direct questions are signs of avoidance and a lack of honesty. He should be able to clearly communicate his intentions if he truly wants a future with you.

5. His lack of presence in your life, even when he's physically back, suggests an emotional distance that will be hard to bridge. Relationships require effort from both sides.

6. Trust your intuition. The fact that you suspect he may be seeing someone else is a red flag, even if unfounded. A healthy partner instills trust, not doubt.

All of this points to one conclusion: while he may enjoy certain parts of your relationship, he does not prioritize you or your needs in the way a life partner should. It is unlikely this dynamic will change.

My advice would be to end things for your own peace of mind. You deserve a partner who eagerly makes time for you, demonstrates care and consideration, and wants to build a genuine future together. This current situation leaves you feeling frustrated and resentful - it's unsustainable. Moving on can open the door for you to find true compatibility and reciprocity with someone else.

I know ending a relationship is never easy. But trust that you'll feel a weight lift once you let go of someone who can't truly meet you where you're at. I wish you all the best moving forward."

Is spot on. I love you too and wish you all the best in the future.

[slatyb]

Just end this. He's not interested in you and your children.