Unanswered break up: should I reach out or continue to leave him alone?

[avony12]

A few days ago me and my now ex was speaking on our future together and how much we loved each other. Just a few hours ago he told me he loved me and then it just suddenly changed.

He sent a text telling me he was losing feelings and didn’t see a future with me. I was heartbroken. I pleaded and begged but he said no and decided it’s best to be friends.

I didn’t get no full closure, no calls or texts. Just silence. A few hours later he was telling people that he was ‘numb’ and ‘heartbroken’ over this situation. I was curious why he was so careless with breaking up with me but posted that he was hurting inside.

I was going to contact him but I decided to step back and give him that ‘space’. Should I reach out? Or continue to leave him alone?

[TwinTonyz]

Exact same thing happened to me. I prodded for information, but couldn't rationalize anything she'd said. It swing from her wanting to make her own mistakes, to her parents are racists and would have killed me, among other lame excuses.

It was the first time I'd ever gotten over a breakup in days instead of weeks, and I attribute that to a kind of code I'd picked up months before.

"If it's something you can't change, there's no reason to think about it at all."

[SunnySensei]

I have been in a similar situation Miss, and I tried reaching out to her but she was not ready to talk yet and situation only worsened from there.
So it's better to give him some space right now, he might still have feelings for you but he is afraid of commitment maybe give him some time and please don't keep your hopes high cause this situation hardly end with people being together in the end.
Sorry if it was too harsh.

[SunnySensei]

Thank you for the MHO miss

[Starrisunset]

Some people tend to panic at the thought of long-term commitment. I imagine he really does care about you and maybe he really is sad that you aren't together even tho he broke things off. You deserve a partner who is interested in long-term with you tho. You should be able to talk about these things with him, especially if you've been together for a while. If you haven't been dating for very long it's more reasonable he'd be spooked.

[Flower7]

Sounds like he’s very confused. You should definitely leave him alone for now and give him space. It could make you seem desperate if you reach out to him after he just broke up with you. Maybe just try to move on with your life until when or if he contacts you.

[Dannymadness]

This is good advice!

[Flower7]

@Dannymadness Thanks!

[Taylah9]

I think closure is always something we feel that we need but don't always get and there's a reason for that. Some relationships give plenty of closure and others leave us feeling like wtf just happened. Sometimes its ok to just leave it as what it is. Its sometimes better off that way. Don't reach out if thats the way he is being and if you do reach out then maybe be blunt/carefree towards him and don't let on exactly how you feel. Protect yourself in a way and remember how bad you'll feel if you let out how you feel and he responds with a short message like 'ok' . Be short with him like you really don't care. Honestly it'll make you happier than pouring out your heart for nothing. Xx

[Taylah9]

Also I should add that I know it is very hard. Honestly its very painful. But it feels better knowing you aren't pouring out your heart to him when he isn't. If he comes to his senses and realises he does really love you then awesome.. but if not then don't put yourself in that position where he knows he has you. He will come to you if that is how he truly feels.

[acooke-13]

I understand why he's sad, he probably still cares for you very much but unfortunately if he's losing feelings he's done the best thing. I would definitely give him space and would probably hold off being friends for a while, for your sake rather than his.

[Alyssa11]

Get your closure now so you have a reason to move on. You don’t want to dwell on it for longer than you need to. Fuck it - tell him that and tell him it’s not fair if he breaks up with you with no closure. You need the closure so you don’t dwell on it otherwise he’s a bad person.

[jerdanro]

Would it be fair for a man to demand closure from a woman who didn't want to see or hear from him again?

[Alyssa11]

Yes as long as you guys were in a relationship I think it should be a right. Otherwise it makes that person a real dick...

[exitseven]

He sounds like he is very confused and I am sure you are too. Contacting him may get you some answers but he is not ready to speak with you right now.

[Trpkjr]

Walk away if he comes back and you decide to take him back it may work otherwise it wasn’t meant to be

[Hairylegs222]

Doesn't matter it's over. He said he doesn't love you anymore. There's billions of other guys out there and you're dwelling from 1 still.

[DarkWinterNights]

I would move on… he’s either got problems or is playing games. Don’t waste your time.

[Anonymous]

He's trying to save face around his friends. Let him go.

[888theGreat]

looks like he is making it look like you broke up with him

[KrakenAttackin]

It's over, move on to your backup man.

[Raj4655]

Leave him alone move on...

[CantGetItUp]

Just move the hell on damn

[In_Trance]

leave him alone