I'm tired of men pretending to be physically attracted to me. Why do men lie about being physically attracted to a woman?

[Candykanelove]

I've been having sex with a guy for a year now we are friends with benefits. (It'll be a year next month). Sometimes we cuddle, watch movies, and cook. We met on a dating app last year and we went on a date. After that, we started having sex (the second time we met up) but I don't think he's really attracted to me. Because he follows only skinny chicks and skinny chicks with tattoos on social media. I saw him last week and I said something to him just to see what he would say. And he said he wouldn't have sex with a woman he's not attracted to.

I made a comment about how I wanted to try a new sex position because I wanted to ride him. And I told him he must not be used to being with women like me. And he said, "I guess I'll have to get used to it". Before I left I told him I'd let him know I'd contact him when I want to see him again and he said ok.

I hate that I'm attracted to him and that I want him. I honestly don't know if I will contact him because I just don't think he's attracted to me at all.

There is another guy that I've been talking to who has been trying to go on a date with me. He claims to be into me physically yet he's only ever been with skinny women. I checked his social media and I see the types of chicks he's been with. So again it's the same old thing I really wish men would stop this bs. I don't understand what they get out of lying about being attracted to someone. When you meet someone on social media you can clearly see what this person looks like. So if the woman isn't your type why do you even bother what's the point?

Updates

8 mo

(I meant to say when you meet someone on a dating app you can clearly see what the person looks like)

[Anonymous]

So one thing you should consider is maybe you’re a fetish.. if a man has a specific type for a woman who looks completely different from you, I always proceed with caution. People say “well that’s not always the case..” well a lot of the times it is. I don’t know how big you are, whether you’re curvy or actually plus size, but there’s been a lot of big girl fetishizing in todays society. Not saying a man wouldn’t like a plus size because there’s plenty, but that’s just what it is. Most men like skinnier women so there’s no escaping that so I would not base a man’s attraction to you on that.

[Anonymous]

Well on some way physically speaking he is attracted to you. He has to be to want to have sex w you. That’s where it usually starts for men, physical attraction. Just cause he follows skinny women w tattoos doesn’t mean that’s what he wants. I follow women like Meisha Tate, sure she’s cute, but her body size isn’t what I’m into. I follow her because she’s into MMA. Would I kick her out of bed if she let me nail her? No. But most times I like women who are much more curvier w a nicer backside. Example, Marleny1. I think where you went wrong was having sex w him on the second date. It could be that maybe they’re just ashamed to admit that they like women of your size. So you’re their naughty little secret.

[Billlewis]

The solution to your dilemma is blissfully simple -- to date guys who appreciate a full figured woman. I guarantee you that there are thousands upon thousands of guys who would absolutely love to meet, date, pamper, spoil you, in the hopes of being fortunate enough to enjoy sex with you. You just haven't met one yet.

[Candykanelove]

So why has this guy been having sex with me for an entire year when he's not even physically attracted to me?

[Billlewis]

It's not an all or nothing situation. As we all know, guys have an extremely high sex drive, which often causes us to have a sexual relationship with a woman who may not necessarily be our first choice to have sex with, but when you meet a guy who is interested specifically in a plus sized woman, you'll be amazed by how much more exciting your intimate sexual encounters will be.

[Candykanelove]

Yeah, I get some men have a high sex drive but that is still no excuse to have sex with a woman who isn't his type. And this has been going on for an entire year.

[Billlewis]

Until you find your long term boyfriend, you might consider advertising for an oral only male sub to augment your physical intimacy with your other partner. That's just a thought.

[Candykanelove]

So when he told me he wouldn't have sex with a woman he's not attracted to he was lying?

[Billlewis]

There are blatant lies, moderately misleading falsehoods and ambiguous statements, and what your current male partner told you probably belongs in the latter category. There are varying degrees of attraction, so technically, he didn't actually lie to you -- he convinced himself that, number one, you're attractive to him, and two, he doesn't feel like going through the process of finding another girlfriend.
Keep in mind that he wouldn't be having intercourse with you if you weren't sufficiently sexy.

[Candykanelove]

He convinced himself that I'm attractive to him? Why would he have to convince himself? I don't get why he would lie about this. He didn't even have to meet me in person. He could see what I looked like before we even met in person. Because we met on a dating app. None of it makes sense. i'd never have sex with a man I'm not attracted to. In fact I stop seeing a guy for this reason.

[Billlewis]

You're trying to slice the hair too many times, and all you're going to do is drive yourself crazy. None of us lead a perfect existence; we just try to do the best we can with what we have. That's as extensively as I can slice it down to. Good luck!

[YesterdaysChild]

If you are using a guy just for sex, then it is beggars can't be choosers. And as for the male persona, they aren't choosers. When it comes to getting sex, it is any port in a storm for them, as the old saying goes. When you sleep around you have to get what is there/offered, or nothing at all.

[Candykanelove]

He said he would not sleep with a woman he's not attracted to.

[YesterdaysChild]

Men say a lot of things in order to get sex. You can't always trust their motives by their talk.

[Candykanelove]

He's been having sex with me for an entire year...

[YesterdaysChild]

Are you bragging or complaining?

[Anonymous]

I’d be more concerned about the ones that lie about being emotionally attracted. If they say it’s only physical then that’s somewhat honest.

[Anonymous]

For the same reason pretend to be interested in guy thier not. It's just a means to an end that's all. Most people use one another to thier ends. Welcome to the world.

[Candykanelove]

I guess you missed the part where I he told me he wouldn't have sex with someone he's not attracted to.

[Opinion Owner]

No I caught that. It's also pretty clear why he said that.

[Candykanelove]

Now you are basically trolling there is no way that you would know whether or not he is attracted to me.

[Opinion Owner]

No I read your post quite carefully. You don't even realize the red flags you posted. I got a pretty good idea of who this guy is and who you are and it's really not surprising. I have absolutely nothing to gain by trolling you. You're the equivalent of the guy who picks a gold diggers then complain that she acts like a gold digger.
Why does your gender ask questions like this and then get mad at guys who are brutally honest with them?

[Candykanelove]

A good idea of who this guy is? You don't know him personally you're going off a post online. You're a stranger online thinking you know everything. Which shows what type of person you really are.

If he said he's attracted to me then he's attracted to me. I think you're just upset because know one finds you attractive and doesn't want to have sex with you. But with your personally, I can see why nobody wants you.

[Candykanelove]

You use people which shows you are a disgusting person but not everyone is like you.

[Opinion Owner]

Now who's judging without knowing.😆😆 which are you the pot or the kettle? Doesn't matter, they're both black. "Know one finds you attractive"😆😆😆
Let's be real here. I held a mirror up to you and you didn't like what you saw. You're just mad because you're looking for "yes man" responses. But you're never going to grow and get better with that attitude hun. But maybe if that's your attitude at the ripe old Age of 36 I should save my breathe. Because if you haven't figured this out by now you're probably not going to.