I’m in my third trimester and husband said he doesn’t get to do what he wants?

[Anonymous]

I told him to get the couch ready by cleaning it for the baby cause it’s nasty rn and he started a whole fight of nagging and complaining how I don’t let him do anything he wants or fun …. Which hurt my feelings and makes me feel like that doesn’t include me bc he wants to play a game online with people but I guess with me it’s not fun … I told him he’s insensitive and then he goes on to say more like I don’t let him do things he needs to do … which is a lie bc I let him study and give him plenty of time I don't know what to do bc he doesn’t care it upsets mw he just say I’m taking it the wrong way but how else am I suppose to take it

[lightbulb27]

not easy to communicate, especially when you are more sensitive as is he. Better communication as to what his needs are... probably for down time by himself. Maybe he's introvert and he relaxes with games. personally, I'd throw the game console out the door and walk in the park.

need to get to a good place soon... cause the one coming is needy.

[Asker]

He doesn’t really play but randomly wants to them starts big fights about it

[Asker]

But yeah I feel he wants down time but just the way he gets about it

[lightbulb27]

you can a) try to get to the root cause of this and address that, which to me is best.
Or b) you can take mitigating steps to avoid the conflict, by communicating (both), clearly your needs and work to find a solution that works for both.

it sounds like he is trying to escape for some time, stressed, and then blows up. I'd suspect you are in more need of support and emotional support although doesn't sound like you are over bearing.

choosing a) the root cause is not the game or time. The issue is somewhere else like... he's afraid, issues from childhood are frothing up so he's afraid of what's next... he's got some underlying emotions going on and is trying to avoid them... possibly. Asking him how he feels is good, but I doubt you get to the real issue, have to dig through layers of stuff.

if it's b) just take some time to communicate periodically, moreso, setup time and schedules for him to vegetate if that's what he is needing, and you get something. don't just sacrafice yourself and needs... balance. the hard part is when needs conflict and someone has to deny themselves.

hopefully you can work through it.

that's how I'd think of it...

[AjayOnTheInternet]

Tell him how much fun your having with a baby in you 😂. If he's mature, he should understand he has to do whatever need be. Even if it's working full-time, get off work and clean the house, cook, etc. You both have to make sacrifices temporarily, for your child.

[Asker]

Yeah he does a lot for me but now the babies coming I need him more then ever to do more things and I don't know if he feels overwhelmed but I also feel that

[petitedollbabee]

Sounds like an immature man child who won’t handle the responsibility of a child. If he can’t even support you and all he does is whinge and moan while you’re in your third trimester, that’s a bad sign.

[KingOfMe1]

You read way too much into what she wrote.

[petitedollbabee]

No.. I just read what she wrote. And gave my opinion on his behaviour.

[LazerBean]

Should have figured that out before having sex with him.

[Asker]

I never said I regret having a baby with him or marrying him how dare I have issues with my husband.. you sound like a bitch and I’m sure ur relationship isn’t sunshine and rainbows

[LazerBean]

It is actually, that's what happens when you make good choices.

[Asker]

Then why are u such a bitch? Cause ur so happy in ur relationship?…. Okay believable

[slatyb]

What to do? If he thinks it's not fun now, it will be even less fun with a baby. Guess what? You are going to have two babies. The one you birth, and the one you married.

[Asker]

He isn’t a baby he can definitely act like one at times

[slatyb]

You are about to find out just how big a baby he is. He's already complaining that your pregnancy is not fun for him.

[worldscolide]

He sounds like an asshole. If you're nearing the end of your pregnancy you shouldn't be doing really much of anything. If he cannot support you, that is no good. just wow. So sorry that is happening to you.

[Asker]

He helps but it’s like I need him more then ever and he’s getting this way it does suck and frustrating

[worldscolide]

Im sorry. you might consider counseling. Stress is not good for you or the baby.

[Asker]

Yeah I think I should !

[abc3643]

He needs to fucking grow up.
Show him this question and my reply.

[Anonymous]

Lol you let him study. Studying isn’t fun. Sound like you’re kind of controlling.

[Asker]

Maybe but I still don’t like how he said that

[Opinion Owner]

Ok. But again you sound controlling so you can tell him what to do, get mad, upset, cry about it but when he says something now you’re feelings are hurt.

[scales_of_Libra]

that just means he feels neglected. and he just wants sometime with just you & him.

[spartan55]

You 'let him study'... damn that guy has it made!

[KingOfMe1]

Lol. I had to make sure I read that right but tbh I study for fun.

[spartan55]

I will go out on a limb and say you are an outlier. But that's cool, knowledge is power.

[Asker]

He does study for fun but I’m sure he would wanna do other things lol

[spartan55]

Yeah, we know you ain't letting that happen. He'll leave you one day.

[Asker]

Not true and i doubt it

[spartan55]

Awfully full of yourself. He will get tired of you nagging and bossing him around... believe it.

[Asker]

No I’m not I know he loves me and I’m not that bad damn lol

[spartan55]

Sure thing.