Why don’t guys approach you when the chemistry is just obvious?

Question

I just went downstairs and saw this guy, I felt very attracted to and he couldn’t take his eyes off me either.

I went again to throw the rubbish and seems like he and his friends were in the elevator when I entered.

I looked at him up at him for a moment and he was looking down and checking me out and another one was smiling to him.
As soon as he saw me looking he pretended he was looking somewhere else 😅

I felt very attracted to him and I feel like he felt too, why the hell didn’t he ask my number or something?

He resembled my ex, not appearance wise necessarily but the vibe was same and I felt the same charisma coming from him.

My ex saw me and came to me directly and bravely, why isn’t everyone like that when they like someone?

I am sure, I wasn’t the only one to feel that chemistry.

Updates

7 mo

Speaking of which, how silly it is of me to still like someone with the same vibes as my ex, when I ended up being so hurt last time.

I’d rather stay away.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

Maybe he's shy and socially awkward. He might think you are out of his league and is afraid of being rejected. He may have been uneasy about showing interest in front of others. He might already be in a relationship. He might be one of those stupid fucks who is afraid of being accused of harassment for merely talking to a woman.

What I would suggest is seeking an opportunity to approach him alone or semi-privately, like in the elevator, lunch room, or walking from the building. Yes, stalk him. Then you could smile, say hi, and say something like "We haven't formally met" introduce yourself and extend your hand for a handshake. Smile the whole time. Try to spark up a conversation about anything like what he does, how long he has worked there, what he likes to do when he's not working.

I had lots of women at different jobs who would look for opportunities to come up and chat. Sometimes a guy needs signals before he is comfortable doing the same thing.

At some point, either one of you can say something like "Do you feel like grabbing some lunch?"

molonski2 · Accepted Answer

Lets go back to one of your very first questions...

Its not that easy , to just have eye contact , catch the lift down , up , sideways and say

" Heh babe , saw you there , appreciated you look , can I grab your number? "

How are you situated on Monday night? - Look , I've done some ballys things , what you describe is virtually impossible , plus he has friends hanging around. Please , look to the obvious..

How would you have received his number? And how would you have gotten it? Give the guy a break -- Its all but IMPOSSIBLE , what do you expect from him? be realistic

DizzyDesii · Accepted Answer

he's probably wondering the same. Why didn't you just approach? If i were in yalls position, I’m not going to approach nor want him to approach if either of our friends are around. That shit gets awkward

Jennz6 · Accepted Answer

I was thinking that too, maybe better stay away from him?

lightbulb27 · Answer

Not experienced or confident, has a girlfriend, still recovering from the last one. fear or shame.

Nifrayu · Answer

The same reason you didn't ask for his number.

Finchie40 · Answer

Some people are shy and don’t have the courage to approach someone they find attractive or they might already be involved with someone else so they just walk away so who knows , My question to you is why didn’t you walk up to him and say Hi and introduce yourself? It’s actually ok for a girl to make the first move, Most guy’s don’t mind if she does to be honest. We aren’t mind readers so I just Go for it when I see a girl that I am attracted to , especially if she locked eyes with me , I had girls lock eyes with me before that I said Hi to and she kept walking so again we don’t truly know what someone is thinking

Raaj4you · Answer

I have approached some girls but they play hard to get and then I lost interest in them. 2 girls told me that you should keep chasing a girl until she says yes if you stop then you are not reliable and loyal. 1 girl told me if you lose interest soon then you will never get a girl and you will never committ. Is it true? Its my mistake or girls mistake? I am still unable to understand girls. I can't waste my whole life chasing girls. I am thinking of giving up on dating and focussing on my career.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

When I don't approach a stranger I feel chemistry with, it's usually because I'm not in a socially appropriate context to. I don't approach her because I have no reason to.

Lionman95 · Answer

Because many guys are shy too. That´s the short answer. The longer answer I´d give is that he didn´t get that you were attracted to him, too. I think in the situation is the chemistry wasn´t obvious for him or he wasn´t that much interested in you to ask you for your number. Then he was embarrassed when he met you again in the elevator.

The other scenario I could come with is he´s taken and now feels awkward for sending the wrong signals.

CatVader · Answer

too many tiktok traps have ruined the game.
so now approaching a woman and asking for her number can actually end you in jail.

also to a guy, the chemistry isn't "just obvious"
he probably think you are just being friendly. which is often the actual case.

pierre7i · Answer

Sometimes the chemistry leads to a rush of blood away not in the head from further down and that adds too much confusion to be thinking clearly ! They can too often be beautiful missed opportunities!!

adam6402 · Answer

If you felt so attracted to him and felt like he feels the same towards you, then why didn't you ask for his number or something? Genuinely consider that and think about how you'd feel having to ask him for his number right in that moment... that's your answer.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

The "ice hadn't been broken" yet and he didn't know how to approach you. Most likely. I tend to be like this. Knowing there might be chemistry, it can be hard to approach someone if you don't know what kind of common ground you might have. I tend to be way more bold once the ice is broken.

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

There are so many billions of men on this planet earth there is huge chance that each men would have one or other characteristics of your ex haha you are going to stay alone rest of your life?

And you could also ask for his number , so it will be different this time maybe.

VIVANT · Answer

Why don’t you approach guys when the chemistry is obvious? I’m serious, what is the issue? You’re both equally human.

RingOfFire · Answer

A guy doesn't always know when someone is interested in him even if it may seem obvious to others. I found out a number of times that girls I once knew were interested in me and I had no clue at the time. Sometimes I used to think a girl was staring at me for some other reason and intentionally didn't approach her because I didn't want to be offensive.

Guido · Answer

There is nothing wrong with you approaching g him and I troduci g yourself rather then wait for him.

Many men find very attractive women to be intimidating. There is also the fact that beautiful women brutally reject men when they are approached because they get approached so often. He may think you are out of his league so he just admires your beauty from a distance.

Sparkie460 · Answer

He was with friends and he was afraid of you rejecting him in front of his friends

Anonymous · Answer

Women: That man looked at me in the gym. I’m going to secretly record him and put him in blast on TikTok as a creep to get him ostracized and fired from his job.
Also Women: Why don’t guys walk up and ask me out?

I’m aware you yourself are probably not that way.. but enough women have been that it’s changed the laws, social dynamics and interactions of men and women.

BCA6010 · Answer

Could be that he's shy, or it could be he already has a girlfriend he wants to remain loyal to. Who knows? We see women we think are attractive and don't act on it all the time.

Fireguy17 · Answer

Possibly he is with someone already, I think many of us have run into that where if I wasn't married/dating/in a relationship I would approach her, or he is thinking there is no way she would be interested in me, or my mom doesn't let me date.

iseekpinetrees · Answer

Could be not single. Could be shy. Could think your out of his league. Many guys don't approach women now a days because they fear getting told no.

Anonymous · Answer

Why can't you ask for a number

OHH because women are more valuable and the prize

So let me get this straight.

Feminists want to be "more valuable and the prize" and make as much money as a man.

Enjoy your dried up pussy

Why don’t guys approach you when the chemistry is just obvious?

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