How to react after rejecting friends with benefits request?

[Anonymous]

I recently started to like a guy friend, we weren't so much close. We were talking for months and I felt that he liked me too. Suddenly he flirted very directly and in a sexy way. Finally, he said that he likes to have sex with me, but is afraid that it would ruin our friendship. I felt disappointed, but said no politely. Now he communicates like before and I think he wants to be a friend, but I don't know how to react because I like him and I'm a little upset at the same time.

[RespectfulGuy]

by the way, just curious, can you call someone your friends with benefits if you're not having sex?

Personally, I think to be known as friends with benefits, sex is the regular "encall" thing.

Hence if you agree with my definition of friends with benefits, then it time to choose: enter the relationship or maintain the status quo but stop saying he's your friends with benefits.

And if you choose to be "real" friends with benefits, make if official by arranging for the First sex in a nice hotel or something.

After that, you're officially friends with benefits.

And don't forget to define your boundaries including an "exit clause" because again by definition, all friends with benefits will come to an end, with either one entering another relationship or elevate the friends with benefits to a romantic relationship.

[Asker]

Thank you 🙏🏻 I didn't say we are friends with benefit, I said thats what he wants not me. And I feel upset because he doesn't want a relationship.

[RespectfulGuy]

In that case know that you're the "loser" in a win-lose deal.

Most guys want a friends with benefits because there's no string attached. In your case, there's probably no "exit clause" nor boundaries defined (except no sex).

Anyway, you can always stand your ground.

My ex-gf (now wife 😁) both agreed no sex until marriage. And we lived through with pride.

Hence make your choice and live by it. That makes you a principled person.

[Asker]

You're right. Thank you so much. Wish you two the best.

[RespectfulGuy]

Thank you.

Married 26 years, now separated, but will soon be together again.

[OlderAndWiser]

You are upset because he feels attracted to you? Or you are upset because he wants sex but not a relationship?

[Asker]

I'm upset because he doesn't want a relationship :(

[smilelots]

in the end it will turn out the way it was intended to ,, just be yourself and see what happens , good luck be safe

[spartan55]

It will never be the same.

[jahaims]

Communicate that with him