Is he a private investigator or actually into me?

[Anonymous]

A guy from the gym has been Persuing me for 6 months. He knows I’m married and I’ve told him I won’t cheat on my husband, but that my husband and I are on rough terms. I’ve never touched him but we do express our interest. He recently tried to get me to sext him. I said no. He asked questions about my marriage and I said I don’t know how much I should say and he responded “ I’m not a private investigator or anything” which obviously has me thinking he is. He gave me his linked in and it says he does surveillance for a living. If I google my city and surveillance investigation he pops right up. Would a PI hired by a husband pretend to be interested in someone to get them to cheat to report back the infidelity? Or is he really into me? I’m attractive and so is he, but I am more so , so it’s not like unlikely to have a guy into me or anything.

[Finchie40]

Whether he is or not , you shouldn’t be showing any interest in that guy what so ever , and you shouldn’t even be talking to him period , you are already cheating on your husband sadly to say , by allowing this other guy to keep approaching you and allowing him to pursue you , by you being nice to him , instead of telling him to get the fuck out of your face , just because you are having troubles with your husband in your marriage , doesn’t give you a right to keep open conversation with this other guy This other Guy clearly just wants to fuck you , since he isn’t taking No for an answer. That’s if you are really telling the truth that you are saying No to this other guy to. begin with. If you truly loved your husband and you want your marriage to survive, you need to end all ties with this other guy period and tell him straight out to leave you the fuck alone , but sadly you are allowing him to keep approaching you by being nice to him. , which is a clear sign, that you are pretty much weighing Your options , which I am sorry to say, that makes you a selfish person , For any relationship to survive , especially these days , you have to remove selfishness and trait temptations from within yourself , if you can not remove selfishness and resist temptations for your partner , your relationship or marriage will not last period. How would you feel if your husband kept allowing another girl to keep approaching him , that he finds very beautiful and attractive , even though he told her he is married she is still pursuing him , and not taking No as an answer, so if you can not resist temptations for Your partner , don’t expect them to resist temptations for you So the only person that is wrong here , is yourself , You can’t expect your partner to do for you, if you can’t do for them , the only reason your marriage is having troubles is probably for this reason , You aren’t wearing your partners shoes like you expect him to wear yours and that’s probably why you are butting heads , because you are focusing on other things over focusing on your husband. So my advice to you, is to cut all ties with that other guy period and focus on fixing your marriage , That other guy just wants to get into your pants , he doesn’t give 2 fucks about your marriage , he is clearly just thinking with his dick and thinking to himself that he can eventually win you over because you keep allowing him to approach you. Stop being nice to that guy and tell him to leave you the fuck alone or you will tell your husband the truth about what he is doing to you. Unless you plan on screwing this other guy and ruining your marriage. The choice is yours

[Flatmanlewis]

I have a few suggestions. First, cut off interaction with this guy as much as possible. It’s a dangerous distraction in your marriage and you should avoid complicating your thought process on how to proceed with that. Focus on your marriage hopefully to repair it, but at least so if you decided to end it you do so with a clear mind and not being lured by the daydream of a relationship that may be a ruse. Lastly, people are people and any belief that some ethical code exists which would prevent a PI from interacting with you directly would be false. Every profession is compromised of people who break vows, oaths, codes, and standards all too frequently. Never hinge your assessment on the reliability of a person you don’t even know.

[Asker]

I did put an end to it for that exact reason. Such good advice. I never want to think I swayed my decision based on some guy I barely know. Thanks!!

[Minahh]

I'd just avoid him and if he doesn't back off call authorities. It might be a private investigator but I don't think so that behavior would be not professional. Either way as I've said just don't interact with him. Also I feel like you could ask your husband if he has any doubts in your relationship.

[Asker]

I have and he does sadly, we are working on it

[Anonymous]

That would cost a fortune to have a PI follow you for that long, and they don't interact with their targets. They usually get their info and wrap things up in a few days without the target ever knowing they were there.

[Asker]

I appreciate your informative, non judgy Answer. Thank you! I can’t believe how rude people are in their comments when they don’t know 99% of the story. Thank you

[coachTanthony]

If it's not unlikely for a guy to be into you then how about YOU PICK ANOTHER GUY. lol Why take a chance? Geeez women and their romance novels lol

[DannyUk2017]

Sounds like you got your hands full

[Mach40]

I can't definitively say whether he's a private investigator hired by your husband or genuinely interested in you. However, given his profession and the circumstances you described, it's possible that he might be gathering information about you. It's essential to prioritize your own boundaries and trust your instincts. If you have concerns, you may want to have an open and honest conversation with your husband about the situation and consider seeking advice from a legal professional if necessary. Additionally, consider limiting contact with this individual to protect your privacy and marriage.

[OlderAndWiser]

The only reason why this makes a difference is that you are contemplating diddling around with this guy. If you are considering that, then your marriage is over, so why not go ahead and separate, file for divorce, and then see if the guy still acts interested?

[Anonymous]

there's an old saying in Vegas "if a guy thinks he's good looking he's not especially if an attractive woman hits on him it usually means she's a prostitute or a hired escort looking for work OR she could be an undercover cop looking to make a sting or a woman looking to steal a guys money and credit card information. Either way the guy is not attractive"... Same thing in your situation only reverse the roles the PI guy hired by your dearest husband is looking to get a cheating affair case on you to present in court for his lawyers basically a sting operation to see if you'll cheat to use against you in court. You ever see the movie He's Just Not That Into You... well that's the case here He's Just Not That Into You!!! Is any of this sinking in or do you want me to spell it out for you in crayons since chalk makes millennials cry

[Asker]

Huh? I live in a no fault state so this makes no sense

[Opinion Owner]

Then why tf you on here whining bitching and complaining for gtfooh

[Opinion Owner]

The vegas example was a simile but that went way over your head

[Asker]

You seem nice, it just wasn’t relevant

[Opinion Owner]

Well neither was yoir question or replies but yet here we both are now

[HippoDino]

It sounds like your marriage is in shambles so why not just wreck it faster? Just go for the young hot stud and get it over with. Either he truly likes you, or he is investigating you and your marriage that was bound to end anyway ends faster than it would have. The way i see it its a win win.

[zeitgeist057]

Hire a PI to follow this "PI", and see if he has any contact with your husband.

But warn whoever you hire that your husband may hire someone to follow him around if he catches on. You may both end up developing your own spy networks in order to maintain a cohesive understanding of the others' intelligence gathering capabilities.

[Anonymous]

hmm that presents as a fascinating situation.
Obviously you have to aSSUME HE IS IN THE EMPLOY OF YOUR HUSBAND BuT ON THE other hand he has pushed your button.
you're titillated.
And once titallated that lust must be slaked.
If i lived nearby i could help you out of what is a tough spot.
On one hand your husband is very likely spending good money to catch you cheating.
On the other youve got an itch in your crotch driving you wild.
I dont suppose you could hire men to come round and fix stuff in your house whilst hubby is at work?
then its just a matter of seducing the man fixing your washing machine

[CallmeTheKnight]

I can tell you that you have a big problem because you basically told another man that you’re having problems in your marriage and expressing interest with him. Your big mouth was all he needed.


A PI wouldn’t let you know they’re investigating you. He probably knows how to do background checks on people.

[Flower7]

Just stay away from the guy. Whether he’s a private investigator or not, you’re married. You shouldn’t be so interested in whether he’s into you.

[cloud9vortex1234]

If your making your husband look bad by complaining to him then it's your fault for leading him on. Your making him think he has chance to cheat on your husband with you. If you don't want that then you should cut off contact with him. Even thinking he's PI makes me surprised your talking to him.

Lol, why don't you do a 180 and tell him much you love your husband and how great he is. That would be funny. Act like you don't remember anything else, but how great your husband is.

[Sasha0426]

I mean, it does happen with couples. However, like someone said, Private Investigators don’t interact with their targets. So sounds like he’s interested and you should avoid him at all costs. If anything, let your husband know.

[Asker]

Oh yes he knows!

[DarkWinterNights]

Unless you’re actually going to cheat on your husband, does it matter? And if you are, why not just divorce him?

[Asker]

I just want to know if my husband hired a PI

[Anonymous]

It doesn't matter.

Either way he is an asshole and as you obviously cannot be trusted and do not trust your husband you don't have a real relationship.

[Nik1hil]

Hook him up with another girl!..

If that girl sucks him off real good, he will reveal he is Investigating you!. 😂🤣

[lightbulb27]

doesn't matter. Stay away from him. Work in challenges w husband.

[Mamaganja]

Don’t cheat on your fuckin husband. Simple as that..

[OddBeMe]

A PI wouldn’t talk to you. Everything they would need to know for their clients could be found without “going undercover”.

But you told this stalker quite a a lot about your failing marriage….

[JesseP1nk]

Tell your husband that that creep is bothering you.

[DevikaButts95]

That's a damn good PI I guess.