Why was he acting like that? Is it OK I am upset about it?

[identunk]

I invited my boyfriend to a zombie crawl with me and my friend (he hasn't met yet). He does not go out often and is introverted (keep that in mind). For most the night I noticed he stood between me and my friend or walk behind us but more behind her and not next to me. That was the first thing I noticed and it pissed me off. I think its more respectful of him to stand next to me or behind me, not her. We go to the first bar and I got a drink and I turned to him so he could get a drink and he said he didn't want anything so I pay for my own drink. That is the second thing that pissed me off. Why not buy my first drink at the bar? We been together 5 years. Anyways, after I buy my own drink he goes up and buys a drink. I looked at him confused and he said he didn't know they had beer until I already bought my drink. Pissed me off! I don't feel entitled for him to buy every drink but as a man being with your girl for over 5 years, it is respectful to buy my drink. It is also embarrassing for me to have my girlfriends question why he didn't buy my drinks. I just wanted him to act like my boyfriend, make me feel special by taking control. I am quite upset that after 5years being together he doesn't know how to treat me in public. I need some advice and thoughts about this from a guys perspective and girls!

[DaveJord]

From a guys prospective... 5 years in and sounds like he's taking you for granted.

See here is the thing... your upset why? It's not just this zombie crawl, or this drink thing. This about 5 years of you and him and his patterns of behavior theough out that history together.

So I am not speaking to his actions in regard to this particular event. Honestly, the why he did or does what does... how acts and why... does matter.

What really matters is how he makes you feel and why. I mean it's been 5 years you know who he is. He's either the type of guy you want or he's not. Honest, true people don't change that much... sure people change a lot over time... but not that much at one time in the short term.

So again 5 years in, what matters most is how he makes you feel and why? Only you can find those answers for yourself.

This is the one peice of serious advice I will give... your only 21. I was married at 20 and stayed married for 42 years. I battled these types of feelings from one think to the next for 24 years. Trust me, you don't want that type of contast aneixty and annoyance in your life. Not what it is they do do for you... you anger right should be more directed at yourself. He is who he is, if think he should change that for you... well maybe you need to look in mirror and ask yourself what changes you need to make about yourself. Because if you upset with him, you have take some level of responsibility for yourself. 5 years, and this is how he acts and treats you. People only do the things they do to you, because you allow them to on some level.

So if you're one of these types that loves you boyfriend and don't see your life without him... then you need to change your expectations.

[DaveJord]

24 not 42 years

[Anonymous]

hmmm i empathise. Its extraordinary that he followed your friend instead of you.
I recommend using a chain tied around his neck.
Works perfectly for chicks.
Inspires obedience and respect you always know where they are

[AmandaYVR]

"For most the night I noticed he stood between me and my friend or walk behind us but more behind her and not next to me"

You're criticizing where he stood. He wasn't talking to your friend all night, or flirting with her.

In your generation and probably from now on, guys can't pay for everything anymore. Life is too expensive. Lots of people are broke or struggling. You're both young (unless your account is a lie about your age), and presumably not rolling in dough.

This wasn't a first date. You've been together five years, you are partners, but you still expect and want him to do things that show your friends that your boyfriend "respects" you. What does money have to do with respect? Nothing. You're in competition with your girl friends, or wanting to prove to them that someone loves you. Has he not already proven that to you by being with you for five years?

This is ugly. And notice how the males you have responded so far are all middle aged and older. They are not your generation. Things have changed. But some people forget how it was when they were just barely an adult.

He has a different personality, likes different things, and is a different person. Presumably he went out with you both because you asked him to. So cut him some slack. At least he was trying and made some effort. Thank him for his effort, tell him constructively what you would have liked to have happened, but stop taking him for granted and treating him like a cash register.

You're being petty.

[Avicenna]

I understand your frustration with him, but have you expressed any of this to him?

[Sparkie460]

If he doesn't go out much then he probably doesn't know how to act or what to do on outting.

[Iron_Man]

Talk is key you have to talk to him

[In_Trance]

You need to talk about it